Pre -Op And Wavering Between Excited And Terrified

[carrieann70 14]

Hi everyone! I have just gone thru my first round of appointments and am looking forward to the second round this month. I am hoping to have the sleeve in February 2013. I waver between being excited about the possibilities with the sleeve and being terrified that I will ruin my life. I have no co-morbidities except for pain in my legs and feet that make it nearly impossible to excercise. When I'm on my feet all day I can barely crawl home. I have a 2 year old son that I want to take biking, backpacking, hiking - all things I cannot even hope to do now. I know that one day my weight will cause major health issues and I don't want to wait until I'm sick to focus on my health. I am healthy now but a ticking time bomb for sure. I want to be there to dance at my son's wedding!! I'm about to turn 42 this week, 5'5" tall and 258 pounds. I keep looking for a sign to tell me this is the right thing to do. I guess I will see how easy or hard the universe makes the pre-op process and that will be my cue. But it's so hard to wait!!! I've never been much of a risk taker and I feel like I'm about to take the biggest leap of faith in my life!

[Sannah 258]

Hello!

I am 5'5" I finally broke the 300 lb mark!!! WOO HOO! I am now 298! I also have a little one, a girl who just turned one! I am almost 31 years of age. I am pre op and finished my 6 month of medically supervised weight loss yesterday. My papers have been submitted to insurance.

Where are you at in the pre op process? Do you have an insurance medically supervised weight loss period?

So, we have some things in common. The big thing we have incommon are these feelings! One minute I am excited at the potential the sleeve could bring to my life and how it would change my daughters life. The next minute I feel like backing out due to the fear of dying and or living with any severe complications. I am so afraid that I might be the one whose body does not react well.

Thanks for posting! It sure is nice to have someone to relate with! These emotions come and go minute to minute and day to day. When will this change? Perhaps feelings these emotions is normal and healthy for us, because this is a VERY big decision to make.

For a while I was reading and posting daily on the board, which for the most part was beneficial for me. I have learned a great deal of information from reading about others experiences. I thought with the all the knowledge I have gained that these feeling would subside, but they havent. So, for now I realize the fear is healthy and necessary for success.

I wish some how we would provide words of comfort, but it seems we must endure this rollarcoaster! Soon enough we will embrace the rewards of this journey.

Wishing You the Best,

Sannah

[shellbell125 41]

Not alone. My surgery date is 11/5 and I still can't believe I've gotten this far. I debate but then I go the next step. I want this but i am so afraid of complications. Some people do so well, some people have some nasty side effects. I'm terrified but excited, but scared, but anxious, but happy, but etc. I'm think I'm mainly mad that I let myself get to this point. No matter how much I lose, my body will never look the same. I don't have money for plastic surgery if I lose 120 pounds that I need to, but I don't have the money for the continued problems I have now. I'm in pain all the time, and I'm tired all the time. I'm exhausted just typing all of this. We can do this right?

[Robert Olson 4]

I really think alot of the people who have side effects are not following Dr. orders. I am sure there is a very small percentage that have problems though...

[Sannah 258]

I will and am dedicated to following all of the rules. Maybe this will help me.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[DayByDay 123]

I can so relate. My surgery will be sometime in February. Everyday I wonder if this is the right thing to do. Especially since I am paying cash. I've been really watching what I eat and have already managed to loose about 18lbs.

What if there are complications? What if I screw up again and gain it back? Just more wasted money.

I came from such a judgmental family and they really look down on people who have any weight loss surgery. I never plan on telling them. Luckily they live states away and I will probably never see them again.

So every day I remind myself that this is okay to do this (It does not make me a bad person), I'll deal with the complications (if there are any), and I will loose the weight (and never look back).

[ReduceReuseRecycle-Me! 119]

DaybyDay, some families are not worth the effort and mine is one of them, too. There is a reason we pick our friends. You will do great.

[carrieann70 14]

Hello!

I am 5'5" I finally broke the 300 lb mark!!! WOO HOO! I am now 298! I also have a little one, a girl who just turned one! I am almost 31 years of age. I am pre op and finished my 6 month of medically supervised weight loss yesterday. My papers have been submitted to insurance.

Where are you at in the pre op process? Do you have an insurance medically supervised weight loss period?

So, we have some things in common. The big thing we have incommon are these feelings! One minute I am excited at the potential the sleeve could bring to my life and how it would change my daughters life. The next minute I feel like backing out due to the fear of dying and or living with any severe complications. I am so afraid that I might be the one whose body does not react well.

Thanks for posting! It sure is nice to have someone to relate with! These emotions come and go minute to minute and day to day. When will this change? Perhaps feelings these emotions is normal and healthy for us, because this is a VERY big decision to make.

For a while I was reading and posting daily on the board, which for the most part was beneficial for me. I have learned a great deal of information from reading about others experiences. I thought with the all the knowledge I have gained that these feeling would subside, but they havent. So, for now I realize the fear is healthy and necessary for success.

I wish some how we would provide words of comfort, but it seems we must endure this rollarcoaster! Soon enough we will embrace the rewards of this journey.

Wishing You the Best,

Sannah

Hi Sannah! To answer your question I just had my first meeting with my surgeon on 9/18. My insurance company requires 3 month medically supervised program. Interestingly enough, it seems like the whole 3 months are geared toward the surgery. It sounds wierd but I kind of expected it to be a time when they tried to talk me out of it or something - or I jumped through a bunch of hoops and if I "passed" then I could have the surgery. But really other than making appointments and seeing the requisite doctors I'm not required to actually DO anything. The NUT said I will be on a low carb high Protein diet for 2 weeks before surgery - no liquid diet that she spoke of yet. I see people posting that they have a 2 week liquid diet before surgery. If I could do that SlimFast would have worked for me a long time ago LOL! At any rate, I'm excited but scared as hell and just wondering if I'm being selfish for wanting to do this. I want what is best for my husband and son by being the best wife and mother I can be - but at the end of the day this is what I want for MY life. I'm a horrilble person

[carrieann70 14]

Wow! I didn't think anyone would respond to my post - I feel like I'm being a big weenie But thanks for the encouragement and support. I have to admit I've been on this site non-stop since I decided to meet with a surgeon and this is my first post. I think I will find alot of good, useful support and information here. Thanks all!

[iggychic 1,405]

I really think alot of the people who have side effects are not following Dr. orders. I am sure there is a very small percentage that have problems though...

I followed every rule and have been in hospital nearly 45 days. Don't downplay the real risks. Some one in four hundred die having this surgery...following doctors orders.

[carrieann70 14]

I followed every rule and have been in hospital nearly 45 days. Don't downplay the real risks. Some one in four hundred die having this surgery...following doctors orders.

I have been following your thread very closely and praying for you everyday. It's stories like yours that make me terrified to do this and wonder if it's worth the risk. There is no way to know when you've drawn the very-unlucky "winning" lottery number of that oh-so-small percentage of complications/death. That's what makes the decision that much harder - pay now (as you are) or possibly pay later (by staying fat and unhealthy)? Or will I fall into the category of folks who breeze through this and find all their dreams are realized? I'm so sorry for your ordeal Iggy and you are on my mind constantly as I struggle with this decision that will not only affect me but my husband and son possibly even more. I doubt if I were in your position that I would handle it with the grace and humor with which you have.

[iggychic 1,405]

I have been following your thread very closely and praying for you everyday. It's stories like yours that make me terrified to do this and wonder if it's worth the risk. There is no way to know when you've drawn the very-unlucky "winning" lottery number of that oh-so-small percentage of complications/death. That's what makes the decision that much harder - pay now (as you are) or possibly pay later (by staying fat and unhealthy)? Or will I fall into the category of folks who breeze through this and find all their dreams are realized? I'm so sorry for your ordeal Iggy and you are on my mind constantly as I struggle with this decision that will not only affect me but my husband and son possibly even more. I doubt if I were in your position that I would handle it with the grace and humor with which you have.

Given i won the lottery on risks...i have 399 get out of complications free cards and you are welcome to one if you'd like.

The message I want people to get from me is to understand the risks and prepare. Not to have or not have the surgery, just to understand it might not be a breeze as I figured it would be and instead got a hurricane.

So now you have my card and my best wishes that you get that gentle breeze i so wanted!

[carrieann70 14]

Given i won the lottery on risks...i have 399 get out of complications free cards and you are welcome to one if you'd like.

The message I want people to get from me is to understand the risks and prepare. Not to have or not have the surgery, just to understand it might not be a breeze as I figured it would be and instead got a hurricane.

So now you have my card and my best wishes that you get that gentle breeze i so wanted!

Thank you Iggy! That means alot. I will treasure that get out of complications free card, believe me!!!!

[iggychic 1,405]

but now I own your soul.....muhahahhahahaha muhahahahahahaha (ok I"m dying of boredom here...sorry lol)

[Scaredy Cat 92]

I love this post and I feel like I'm in the same boat. I'm going through all the motions of getting approved. Some days I feel like I wish it was tomorrow because I'm that ready. Other days I'm thankful I still have some tests because I'm unsure. I keep thinking that if I don't do something, I could literally die tomorrow from a heart attack, stroke or even sleep apnea (not including the runaway bus in my path LOL).

Thanks for validating my fears and letting me know Minot alone