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I Need Someone To Hold My Hand



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I need someone to figuratively hold my hand through this process and help me keep myself from chickening out. I know this is in my best interest for the long haul but I'm terrified as I read two horrible journey's today...one of which it sounds as if the woman is still fighting for her life nearly 2 and a half months later :-( I have 3 fairly young kids, my twins will be 6 in November and my youngest just turned 3 at the end of September. I was raised in Illinois but I now reside in Wisconsin.

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I was pretty scared also. I have three young children too. I just kept thinking, if I'm scared of getting the sleeve, imagine how scared I'll be when I eventually have to have open heart surgery due to my obesity. That got me through.

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I read some complication stories and I was worried too. This surgery is not without risks but when I saw what a low percentage of people had complications it was worth it for me. I knew that if I chose not to do it that I would regret it later. Bottom line, this was a risk I was willing to take becasue I was so at my wits ends with my weight and I was 240 but if I kept on going it would just keep increasing. I am two weeks out and I am glad I did it. It was way easier than having kids or any surgery I have had. I would make a list of pros and cons and see if this is the right choice for you. I think it should be a last choice. Have you done everything else? If not, try everything before you resort to this. Just my 2 cents! Good luck to you!

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Where in Wisconsin?

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I can't even imagine what it is like to have children and have surgery. I dont have kids but I can tell you, this is the best thing I've ever done for myself and I did it so that someday (sooner rather than later) I can be healthy enough to have a child. The horror stories are real. They put every ache and ouch I've had into perspective and make me pull myself up by my bootstraps every day. My surgery went well. My worst issue was having my (horrific pcos cursed) period during the surgery and after. My incisions were a little tender, I hated the drain and the catheter. But I'm alive, I'm down 30lbs in three weeks and I'm doing great. I'm mindful of everyone struggling and I'm thankful every day that I'm healthy and I'm ok. Be positive that you will be fine. Be positive you're doing the best thing for your family by giving them a healthier you. This is good.

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I completely agree with ShouldBlittler.

When I made the decision to move forward with this, I weighed the small possibility of a surgical complication against the much greater risk of what will happen to me and my health if I continued down my current path. After that (and these forums and amazing community), it was a no-brainer. Now I only have two and half weeks to go!!!!

Yes I'm nervous/anxious. But mostly I'm excited to become a better, healthier me. Nicci, my advice is use this community as your virtual hands to hold... you will not be disappointed with the response!

Good luck!

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Thanks guys. I too have PCOS and in fact had to go on infertility medication for the baby that I lost shortly after birth and for my twins (my youngest was a HUGE surprise since I had to try so hard to have a baby previously and was told by every specialist I would never have a child on my own with the degree of PCOS I have....It's safe to say they LIED!!! lol). I am just looking forward to the possibility of the evil facial hair going away some what, it's a PITA to have to pluck my chin daily and cream my upper lip once a week :-P I have tried every thing under the sun to lose weight to no avail. Of course having PCOS makes it much harder than what it is for the average person. I have been heavy my entire life and been sent to this endo and that dietitian always looking for a reason for my size because I was always super active, actively involved in every sport from karate to gymnastics to ballet to softball to tennis to basketball to track to the swim team (the list goes on). I even, at 4 tender years of age, was in Childrens Memorial Hospital in Chicago, IL for a weeks time. The children around me were dying of cystic fibrosis, leukemia etc and here I was, for all intents and purposes, a healthy child. Then at, oh IDK, 9y/o I was sent as an out patient to the University of Iowa childrens hospital (again endo dept) where low and behold they found me to be in perfect health aside from my weight. I have done the South Beach, I have done the Atkins, I have counted my calories, I have tracked my food (religiously and HONESTLY), I have even been on weight loss medication (which worked great but the moment the doc stopped giving it to me was the moment I put all the weight back on and then some!). This is my last resort....I am doing this for myself, for my kids....but am I being selfish by wanting just one moment of my life (hopefully for the rest of my life) to be average to slender in size?

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Where in Wisconsin?

I'm from Beloit, WI but my surgery will be in Madison

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I quickly jotted down a few of my personal thoughts for the pros and cons of this procedure and this is what I came up with, your feedback would be warmly welcomed! :-)

My reasons for wanting surgery:

1) I want to play with my kids, active play not passive play.

2) I want to be able to take my kids to amusement parks/fairs/carnivals and actually be able to ride the rides with them.

3) I'm tired of my being a disappointment to my daughter, nightly she tells me she wishes she didn't have a fat mom :`-(

4) I want to live for as long as possible (no I don't have any health issues at the moment but it could be a matter of time until I do given my current weight).

5) I would love to be able to walk in to any store and buy pants off the rack!

6) I want to be more easily active

7) I want to be able to see my feet without leaning forward (I'd love to see my girl parts without the use of a mirror!).

8) Just once in my life I want to look as beautiful on the outside as I am on the inside (selfish I know but I would be lying if I didn't say this is a desire of mine).

9) I want people to judge me based on my character/heart instead of on my appearance.

10) PCOS could potentially be cured by this procedure (not that I want any more kids but it would be nice not to have to hassle, daily, with the wonderful facial hair).

11) I want to be able to sit at a booth without surveying it as I approach, guessing as to which side is bigger so that I can sit on that side.

12) I want to be able to let people take my picture (which I have not allowed in nearly a year).

Reasons why I don't want the surgery:

1) Possible Death-->My biggest fear in life is death. I don't want to die, I have entirely too much to live for!

2) Serious complications

3) I'm a chicken S#*!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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