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My Minds Eye Just Can't Seem To See The New Me



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ok, here's the deal. maybe i'm just having a 'i'm a fat slob' day, or something, but i was wondering if anyone else has this issue.

i have seen my before and after pics. holy freaking crap, can i ever tell a difference. BUT, when i look in the mirror, honestly, i still see that almost 400 pound midget staring back at me. i mean, seriously, i've lost 125 pounds since april 1 of this year. i know that i look different, but, my eyes just don't see it.

i read an article awhile back about your brain not being able to keep up with reality, and thought how silly that it was.

i am only 26 pounds away from the 'high' end of my goal. my goal was to be between 175-220. and, well, maybe i'm just being a winey brat, but, i just want to SEE myself the way i look now.

does anybody else have this issue, or am i the crazy one in the group?

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Take a picture or two and print it. Make a hard copy. Look at yourself that way for awhile. Your brain has a much easier time of adjusting to a solid pic that the reflection in the mirror.

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Yes, me too! Everyone keeps telling me how much I'm changing but when I look in the mirror, I just don't see it. The only things that let me know, since the mirror doesn't, are my clothes that no longer fit and how much better I feel. Like you, I really want to SEE it.

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I have been on this journey 6 yrs(band to sleeve) I still don't see it and my BMI is 22 and I'm at goal. I see it in pictures, don't see it in the mirror. I think its pretty normal. The brain is a funny/strange thing.

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What you are describing is usually called body dysmorphic disorder. Here's a link to some more info: https://en.wikipedia...orphic_disorder

I think that nearly everyone in our situation has it to some degree. We just can't see the "truth" about our weight. At first we don't see the fat because we don't want to deal with it and when we do something about it like the VSG we can't see anything else BUT. The mind is a funny thing. For the most part your mind catches up to your actual body and you seem to reconcile what you think with what you see.

If it continues to be an issue I would strongly urge you to seek a mental professionals help. There is NOTHING wrong with seeking help.

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So here's another little twist on this same topic for you. I remember looking at my size 20 jeans before surgery and thinking they didn't look that big (what!!) but looking at a size 8 or 10 and thinking they looked so tiny. When I first got into a 10 jean every time and I mean every time I would think " these are so not going to fit" and being suprised when they did. Now, I'm in the mall this weekend looking at pants and I hold up a size 10 and think, man that looks kind of big. again what!!! I think we just have to get used to what's normal for us. BTW while in that same store I looked at a size 20 and it looked big. lol

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I remember looking at my size 20 jeans before surgery and thinking they didn't look that big

Now I look at my jeans and the WAIST is about as big as the LEG used to be. :)

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I'll just say put on the clothes you use to wear and allow that to be your eyes..... you will then start visually transform yourself mentally, and you will not be dependent only what your eyes tell your brain....you will have the proof of what your clothing tells your brain...

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So here's another little twist on this same topic for you. I remember looking at my size 20 jeans before surgery and thinking they didn't look that big (what!!) but looking at a size 8 or 10 and thinking they looked so tiny. When I first got into a 10 jean every time and I mean every time I would think " these are so not going to fit" and being suprised when they did. Now, I'm in the mall this weekend looking at pants and I hold up a size 10 and think, man that looks kind of big. again what!!! I think we just have to get used to what's normal for us. BTW while in that same store I looked at a size 20 and it looked big. lol

LOL!!! You are SO right!! I wear 4/6 now and those look like someones elses clothes, til I see those Tiny OO in life--- its all the brains perception!! I didn't save my 20 jeans-- I let go a couple of years ago-- should have kept them !

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LOL!!! You are SO right!! I wear 4/6 now and those look like someones elses clothes, til I see those Tiny OO in life--- its all the brains perception!! I didn't save my 20 jeans-- I let go a couple of years ago-- should have kept them !

I didn't keep any of mine either. I couldn't get them out of the house fast enough when they got too big. And they were a tight 20. I do wish now that I had kept at least one pair just to have.

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I'll just say put on the clothes you use to wear and allow that to be your eyes..... you will then start visually transform yourself mentally' date=' and you will not be dependent only what your eyes tell your brain....you will have the proof of what your clothing tells your brain...[/quote']

Your right. I "feel" my weight loss every day in so many different ways. But, the only time I ever "see" the difference is when I see how big my clothes are getting on me. When I look at me without clothes, I still look fat as ever to myself. Crazy!

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Yes I feel the same way. It is getting better, but it takes a while.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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