Hey all please send up some good thoughts and prayers.

My wife and are are in a temporary marriage separation after 22 years together. (I have hope this will pass and believe I am doing my part to reconcile) I am staying with a friend for now. I have no plans of delaying my Oct 8 th date even if I am not at home, but will recover alone because my friend is gone a great deal of the time. Had preop this am at hospital, down 18 lbs and I just have to stick to this no carb diet 12 more days.

After surgery, I have two weeks off of work. I am an RN so I think I can make good post op decisions... My wife may or may not meet me the morning of surgery. Another friend can take me, but then he has to leave for work. I could just drive myself perhaps. Thought I'd just tell my Doc the wife had to stay at home with the kids.

I have three daughters, miss them a lot.

Help me see this clearly.

Thanks

Chad

Marriage is hard. It may be the focus is on you now. Think about living for the fam. Pray it works out but don't think too hard. Peace

Sorry to hear about your separation. Put your need out to your wife. Let her know it would mean a lot to you if she were there the day of surgery or to check on you. Try to have everything you need ahead of time to make the first 2 weeks. Best wishes to you.

So sorry about your marriage situation. I will be married 30 years in Dec. It is hard work and sometimes you go through hard places. I hope that all works out for both of you and your children. After surgery, you will just really need loads of rest and you should be able to do that on your own. Make sure you have some clear liquids, popsicles and broth on hand and all should be good I was not supposed to drive for two weeks but I did. I only live one mile from our business, so I drove there after 6 days. The toughest part is getting in and out of the car, that is tough on the sore abs! Good luck to you, I hope it all works out the way you wish for it to.

Best wishes for an uneventful recovery! I hope your wife is there for you while you're in surgery.

The best advice I can ever give anyone, is marriage counseling. My husband ( now deceased) and I were so different from each other, that we were in and out of marriage counseling a lot. We periodically had to go back in for a tune up , so to speak.

Chad,

Marriage is tough. Going through a separation is even harder. Especially when it is not your choice. However, as the father of her children...I cannot help but feel that differences must be set aside to be there in your time of need. Unless to her the marriage is unsalvageable, she will be there for you.

You're never alone so long as you have all of us. *hugs* Give a shout and we will all respond. You're willing to put the work in, that much is obvious whether it is the surgery or still wanting to make it work in your marriage. Keep positive and things will work out as they are intended.

Tally

Chad, so sorry to hear about your marriage/seperation. Even though I've only been married 8 years, I have had my share of marital problems myself. At one time even seperated...... through hard work, understanding, time/patience, but most of all communication things worked out. I really hope things work out the way you want them to. You and your family are in my prayers, if you ever need to vent I'm always here for my friends. Take care and God Bless

So sorry that your separation had to happen now,... of all the times, right? But that may be part of it, since this can be a very stressful time for the whole family.

I am having surgery on Monday, Oct 1. I am single, never married and no kids. I do have a sister that will be dropping me off before she goes to work. She will also be taking me home when I am released and staying with me. She has offered to stay for 2 weeks. I'm hoping to be able to send her home after the 3rd day!

I think if you shop for what you may need (food, drink and drugs) beforehand that you will do fine. We can help you out emotionally here but we we can't help you to the bathroom! Since you are an RN, maybe some of the other nurses from work could stop by, perhaps your daughters will stop in to help out and hopefully your estranged wife will, as well.

Good luck, chad. Stay positive about your surgery and the rest will work out the way it was meant to.

My surgery date is the eighth of October too. So sorry to hear of your separation from your wife. I will send up a prayer for you.

Chad;

Thank you for being so open and sharing the challenges you face. Whether or not your spouse is around, take good care of yourself, okay? While you might not have the emotional support from someone you love, remember you have cheering section on this board.

I did VSG surgery as an outpatient surgery with no overnight hospital stay. Prior to surgery I had all my prescriptions filled. liquid pain meds, which I only took once to sleep. Next was a PPI which really helped out my non stop gurgling stomach. I slept a lot those first three days. Back to work within a week which involved a plane ride across country.

Confident you can do this with minimal support but with your experience you know you do need some help. Someone should be with you or checking in on you every few hours those first couple of days. You will need someone to drive you home. So, get prepared and wrap yourself in the comfort that you are doing all you can to move forward.

I'll b Thinkin of u on ur surgery day & u have us all here to 'talk' to... I'm sorry for your situation, more stress to deal with..

Chad, so sorry about your separation at this stressful time in your life. Perhaps if you tell her how much it would mean to you to have her there for surgery she will be there. Beat of luck on your surgery.

Best of Luck. Not beat of luck. LOL

Sorry Chad. Unless you have some major complications, physically you should be fine alone. But emotionally, no one can answer that. I hope you have friends and loved ones who will at least check on you. Best of luck. There is never a good time for something like this to happen, but this is an exceptionally bad time. I hope you're able to reconcile.

Sorry to hear about your separation. Put your need out to your wife. Let her know it would mean a lot to you if she were there the day of surgery or to check on you. Try to have everything you need ahead of time to make the first 2 weeks. Best wishes to you.

I asked today, she is thinking about it.

I have sf popsicles. I can go on full liquids pod 4. I have premier shakes, will get more.

I am getting more Jello, broth, a small spoon, plate, Water, medicine cup.

Anything else?

Maybe a heating pad.

Gas-X...just in case.