Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

So, I was on a first date yesterday. It was a lot of fun, we met for coffee, talked for a couple of hours, and then parted ways. When the evening wound down, I walked her to her motorcycle which was parked out in front of a skeezy dog park in downtown Seattle. Lots of drunks and sketchy folks hanging out.

When we got to her bike, after a little more small talk, we had a nice good night kiss. A VERY nice good night kiss. In fact, it turned into a bit of a make out session in full public view (prompting, I **** you not, a round of applause from the bums drinking in the park!). As we were drawing apart, ready to go our separate ways, she had her hands on my waist, and she commented "wow, nice abs!"

I have never had ANYONE in my ENTIRE LIFE say "nice abs" to me before.

THANK YOU, SLEEVE! :D

(edit: realized I was being overly defensive about my life choices... without need. Changed the tone!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

congrats to you :) keep up the good work! i dunno what your ultimate goal is, but whatever it is, i'm sure you can and will accomplish it! i'm happy someone took notice of your hard work :)

in regards to your lifestyle.. i don't think it really matters to anyone on here. i don't mean that in a negative or "b!tchy" way.. i just mean that most of us have been persecuted in some way because of our weight, so i'm sure we're not as likely to pass harsh judgments on others... since we know how it feels. in regards to you dating a biker chick, more power to you. lol it takes a guy with some balls to handle an independent woman, so go on with your bad self. lol :) whatever floats your boat & makes you happy. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

congrats to you :) keep up the good work! i dunno what your ultimate goal is, but whatever it is, i'm sure you can and will accomplish it! i'm happy someone took notice of your hard work :)

in regards to your lifestyle.. i don't think it really matters to anyone on here. i don't mean that in a negative or "b!tchy" way.. i just mean that most of us have been persecuted in some way because of our weight, so i'm sure we're not as likely to pass harsh judgments on others... since we know how it feels. in regards to you dating a biker chick, more power to you. lol it takes a guy with some balls to handle an independent woman, so go on with your bad self. lol :) whatever floats your boat & makes you happy. :)

You'd actually be surprised... I've gotten a couple of VERY negative, judgmental comments and messages about my lifestyle. I suppose the "proper" thing to do would be just to shut up about it, but it's sort of hard to do that when I talk about having a girlfriend AND going out on dates with new folk all in the same post. Then people assume I'm just cheating ;)

But even so, thank you for the kind words :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LMAO that was hilarious! congrats!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sounds like a great nsv! ;D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In fact' date=' it turned into a bit of a make out session in full public view (prompting, I **** you not, a round of applause from the bums drinking in the park!). ! :D[/quote']

This is my favorite part of your story ..nothing like getting a round of applause from drunken bums! LOL!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I loved your story! And please! You should see the rainbow of people that I've dated. Everything from a closeted network news anchorman to mother's ex boyfriend. Talk about getting judged!

And yes, I've dated a biker or two and I have public intimacy stories that would make your hair curl. Though, I must admit that I've never received any applause. :ph34r:

So I have no place judging you or your chick-magnet abs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is awesome. It's great to hear compliments we only thought others would hear, not us. I'm so happy for your happiness :) enjoy!!

It's still hard for me to accept compliments, my husband will tell me how nice I'm looking and I think, in my head, "you don't have to try and make me feel good."

Our lives are definitely looking up! :)

You go with your sexy self ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is my favorite part of your story ..nothing like getting a round of applause from drunken bums! LOL!

It cracked us up, too. COMPLETELY ruining the "sexy time" vibe, but leaving us with a warm, companionable laugh together :) Just as good, if not better!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I loved your story! And please! You should see the rainbow of people that I've dated. Everything from a closeted network news anchorman to mother's ex boyfriend. Talk about getting judged!

And yes, I've dated a biker or two and I have public intimacy stories that would make your hair curl. Though, I must admit that I've never received any applause. :ph34r:

So I have no place judging you or your chick-magnet abs.

Yeah, it's funny. My sister is gay, and although I've never given a rip (what the heck do I care who she sleeps with or loves? as long as she's happy...) I've never really taken her stories of prejudice very seriously.

Then when I realized I was polyamorous, it was hardwired into me -- so, nothing I could do about it, aside from "pretend" to be monogamous like "everyone else" (and hint: you'd be very surprised how many people practice some flavor of non-monogamy ;)) -- just like hetero/homo/bi. And I realized that society does NOT appreciate people with multiple lovers (yikes, understatement.) And that's when I started using terms like being "closeted" about being poly (I am, around my "real life" friends, mostly for my girlfriend's sake, she has relatives that simply would NOT accept us) and "coming out" about it (which I SO want to do, but need to respect her wishes). This forum is sort of safe because AFAIK, nobody here knows me in real life ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is awesome. It's great to hear compliments we only thought others would hear, not us. I'm so happy for your happiness :) enjoy!!

It's still hard for me to accept compliments, my husband will tell me how nice I'm looking and I think, in my head, "you don't have to try and make me feel good."

Our lives are definitely looking up! :)

You go with your sexy self ;)

Actually that's a really good point! When she said "nice abs," I actually was tongue-tied for a minute because my first instinct was to minimize it, or point out the remaining little jelly roll, or something. But I'm realizing that not accepting a compliment isn't just unhealthy for me, it's rude; it's like throwing a kind thought back in someone's face.

So, after a moment's discomfort, I just smiled, said "thank you," and kissed her again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are so right! I'm glad you pointed that out. I'm going to follow your lead and kiss and thank my sweet husband next time he compliments me.

:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, it's funny. My sister is gay, and although I've never given a rip (what the heck do I care who she sleeps with or loves? as long as she's happy...) I've never really taken her stories of prejudice very seriously.

Then when I realized I was polyamorous, it was hardwired into me -- so, nothing I could do about it, aside from "pretend" to be monogamous like "everyone else" (and hint: you'd be very surprised how many people practice some flavor of non-monogamy ;)) -- just like hetero/homo/bi. And I realized that society does NOT appreciate people with multiple lovers (yikes, understatement.) And that's when I started using terms like being "closeted" about being poly (I am, around my "real life" friends, mostly for my girlfriend's sake, she has relatives that simply would NOT accept us) and "coming out" about it (which I SO want to do, but need to respect her wishes). This forum is sort of safe because AFAIK, nobody here knows me in real life ;)

Yes, polyamory, polygamy, and polyandry are much more common than people realize. And trust me, it can be quite a challenge to stay monogamous when it's two men in a relationship. Men can separate love from sex, whereas most women can't (sorry gals), which most people don't understand. More importantly, America seems to be stuck on its irritating, arcane self-righteousness about the whole "one man one woman" thing. But don't get me started on that one...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, polyamory, polygamy, and polyandry are much more common than people realize. And trust me, it's can be quite a challenge to stay monogamous when it's two men in a relationship. Men can separate love from sex, whereas most women can't (sorry gals), which most people don't understand. More importantly, America seems to be stuck on its irritating, arcane self-righteousness about the whole "one man one woman" thing. But don't get me started on that one...

Yup, one man, one woman sort of nails it on the head. It rules out one man, one man, or one woman, one woman, or one man two women, or one woman, two men, or basically anything except the most narrow possible definition of sex and love.

Grr. Don't get ME started either ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×