Week 5- So Depressing / Disgusting To Eat

[Looking Ahead 239]

Work has been so stressful lately and home life isnt much better. Came home to husband wanting to go uptown then out to eat. I took him up on it because Im too exhausted to cook. We went to a buffet thinking they would have veggies U can eat- they didn't snd the buffet was 10.97 each and would give a discount even when I showed the gastric card from my dr. I know - go somewhere you can order off menu. I tried to eat to keep from crying over my job- after about 3 bites I was so full I was nauseous. I get so sick of not being able to enjoy the only thing in this world that comforts me right now. I feel I made a mistake having the surgery znd there is no reversal. I am losing weight and grateful for it but at what price? Losing my only comfort? I am falling so far into depression. I was on antidepressants before surgery and dont want to go back on them. But I dont want to keep being embarrased over and over by ordering and not being able to do much more than lick the spoon before Im full.

What can I do to help me through this. I dont have a support group at home and I dont trust coworkers. Yes I have trust issues too. Please give me something to hang on to so to get through this. Will ut ever get better or is this my hell on earth forever?

[danielbyhalf 16]

I am in the same place. I am week 5 and am having a huge issue with eating, even when I do eat I tend to get quit naucous. We tried to go to the circus this weekend and I was miserable. About half way through the show I go so bad feeling that I was sure I was going to be sick, and they didn't have anything safe to eat. I settled on some plain nacho chips and it helped. I spend most of my day trying to get fluids in, or trying to eat because if I get to hungry I get sick. I am a slave to my kitchen and it drives me nuts. If I could invent a time machine and go back I would but this is miserable. I know this seems like a rant but I am very frustrated.

[misslisa810 33]

Work has been so stressful lately and home life isnt much better. Came home to husband wanting to go uptown then out to eat. I took him up on it because Im too exhausted to cook. We went to a buffet thinking they would have veggies U can eat- they didn't snd the buffet was 10.97 each and would give a discount even when I showed the gastric card from my dr. I know - go somewhere you can order off menu. I tried to eat to keep from crying over my job- after about 3 bites I was so full I was nauseous. I get so sick of not being able to enjoy the only thing in this world that comforts me right now. I feel I made a mistake having the surgery znd there is no reversal. I am losing weight and grateful for it but at what price? Losing my only comfort? I am falling so far into depression. I was on antidepressants before surgery and dont want to go back on them. But I dont want to keep being embarrased over and over by ordering and not being able to do much more than lick the spoon before Im full.

What can I do to help me through this. I dont have a support group at home and I dont trust coworkers. Yes I have trust issues too. Please give me something to hang on to so to get through this. Will ut ever get better or is this my hell on earth forever?

I find it's getting better-a little easier every day. I try to avoid stressful eating situations for now or have my Protein shake before I go.

Can I ask why you went off of anti-depressants? Have you thought of seeing a therapist? This is a hard journey and you need support!

[FishingNurse 1,211]

This is a short term feeling. You will not feel like this forever. Its a sacrifice you make for about 3 months. it will be so worth it! It gets better and you will feel fairly normal again. A new normal!

I do recommend talking to a psychologist as well. It helps. Glad you are reaching out.

[Looking Ahead 239]

Daniel - I do undrstand

Melissa - they had me go off it the day of surgery and didnt give it to me in the hospital so when I got home I tried crushing it which I just could not swallow the taste was so bitter. After a week I fflt better. I do really well until I get stressed. I have seen a therapist before and feel they are robots with the same questions , no answers and "pay at the door" attitude. I felt like a slave to the pills.< /p>

[JustSkinnyMeInside 89]

Hi, sorry you are going through such a hard time right now. I'm not speaking from experience, because I'm not even scheduled to have my surgery until Oct.. 8th!!! HOWEVER, I think I have hope for you. You mentioned here in this post you are only 5 weeks out.....that means you just got your sleeve only 5 weeks ago?

If that's correct, please, please don't despair! You can't eat much right now. And probably for the next couple of months can't each much. BUT, I work with a gal who had this surgery done last year. She eats whatever now, she just eats small portions. Like maybe about 1 cup worth? Her plate fills up like the size of a 1/2 sandwich...

Anyway, she was my saving grace in my decision. I, like you, had these issues about not being able to eat. I asked her what she does for the holidays? for going out to dinner? She always gets a plate to go and eats it for the next couple of meals. So please don't think you won't be able to enjoy your favorite foods from time to time. You just can't NOW. So make it up in your mind that yes, right NOW you can only eat extremely small portions. But next Spring and Summer, you will be able to eat a little more. . . . not as much as pre-surgery, but isn't that a good thing to keep the weight off?

I hope this helps! I see what she eats for lunch every day, and your portion sizes will increase from a couple of bites, I promise you. Hang in there!

[DivaK 55]

I totally understand how you feel. It is very upsetting to know after two bites youre done and I am still trying to figure out how I will deal with this if I am in a large crowd. Fortunately, I have not been out to eat often and the few times that I did...I just made an excuse of not being very hungry and took my soup/veggies home. I have not told anyone about this surgery except my husband...no family and most definitely no coworkers! I guess I have trust issues too...LOL!

[cmw10000 35]

I was taking antidepresants as well before and wanted to stop.....not a good idea... go back to them until you have got thru the mind hunger.... I was a basket case.... maybe take a smaller dose but this is a hard journey ... we need all the help we can get.

[misslisa810 33]

I was taking antidepresants as well before and wanted to stop.....not a good idea... go back to them until you have got thru the mind hunger.... I was a basket case.... maybe take a smaller dose but this is a hard journey ... we need all the help we can get.

I agree-nothing wrong with anti-depressants and there are good therapists out there!

[monki 14]

Most drs will tell you not to stop taking anti-depressants cold turkey. You are suppose to stop taking them gradually. Not only is your body adjusting to the new sleeve, but your body is also adjusting to you not taking those meds. I suggest you make an appointment with you dr and discuss this with him. Your body is going thru a lot of changes right now.

[fattymcfatterson 107]

My oncologist, who recommends the sleeve, who said "it will be the best medical decision of your life", who sees women who HAD cancer get the cancer REVERSED with the sleeve as part of treatment, he says don't be afraid to take anti-depressants. Your body is going through many changes, and these women who should be giddy with happiness because they no longer have cancer, come to his office depressed.. If I notice my moods are hitting a low, I will get them, , and take them, so nobody hates me later, and then when I am further along in my loss I will figure out what works better for coping (hopefully exercise). Just make sure you never stop taking them cold turkey. You need to be weaned off them under a physician's supervision. See you on the loser's bench soon!

[Lilcat 5]

Work has been so stressful lately and home life isnt much better. Came home to husband wanting to go uptown then out to eat. I took him up on it because Im too exhausted to cook. We went to a buffet thinking they would have veggies U can eat- they didn't snd the buffet was 10.97 each and would give a discount even when I showed the gastric card from my dr. I know - go somewhere you can order off menu. I tried to eat to keep from crying over my job- after about 3 bites I was so full I was nauseous. I get so sick of not being able to enjoy the only thing in this world that comforts me right now. I feel I made a mistake having the surgery znd there is no reversal. I am losing weight and grateful for it but at what price? Losing my only comfort? I am falling so far into depression. I was on antidepressants before surgery and dont want to go back on them. But I dont want to keep being embarrased over and over by ordering and not being able to do much more than lick the spoon before Im full.

What can I do to help me through this. I dont have a support group at home and I dont trust coworkers. Yes I have trust issues too. Please give me something to hang on to so to get through this. Will ut ever get better or is this my hell on earth forever?

Hang in there...it will get easier as time goes by. Maybe you could try to replace your old 'comfort' ways with new ones, like crocheting or knitting, scrapbooking, volunteering at a shelter...I know how hard it is to work in a stressful environment, only to come home to more stress...I guess that is when you need to go to your 'happy' place...This site seems to be great for morale support and I encourage you to keep posting and I will try to give you a hand! I am only one week post-op and so far so good...Prayers!

[aviiva 140]

Please think of the reason you made the decision to have the surgery. food is a bandaid for other issues. Remember nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Remember how you felt when you ate too much. It does get better I am 4 months out and have no regrets just hang in there. food had never been the answer to our problems

Sent from my SPH-D700 using VST

[Izuri 428]

((((((HUG))))))))

I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time =( The psychologist I got to do my psych eval said that she had read many studies that depression in weight loss surgery patients is very high for this reason. I think that you should seek out some help, even if it does mean going on antidepressants. And even if you do seek out help - it doesn't mean they will force you to go on antidepressants, some people do well with talk therapy and working on better coping strategies and support groups.

Does the clinic/hospital you had your surgery at offer any kind of support groups? If they don't, I would search online and see if you can find a local weight loss support group. There are many people going through similar feelings.

Lastly, I know that you don't know me, but I always love meeting new people and I am always an ear to vent to if you ever just wanna get anything off your chest. Sometimes it's nice to get it all out to someone who is not involved in any of your real life situations because you can be totally honest with no worries.

Whatever you decide, please remember you are not alone. There are people to turn to, and things can get better. food is a tool, but there are other tools we can use to feel better, even though it's hard because we're so used to food and it's so comforting.

[Looking Ahead 239]

Thank you all for your support. I will think about seeing my family dr soon about the depression meds. Thank you for allowing me to vent. Hopeful that I will get some rest tonight.

Angie