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What Do You Tell People



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I haven't told the people I work with or hardly anyone else. What have you all said and what are reactions? My surgery is August 6. Next Monday.

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Congrats Jenn on your upcoming surgery. We share the same date. I am hoping some post-op will respond to this to give you a better outcome of post-surgery expressions.

I am no longer telling anyone about my surgery til after I have it. My husband, kids, and one aunt that knows is very supportive along with my dad. However I hit a very hard brick wall with my best friend and my mom. The negative feedback that I received from the two people who I thought would be supportive almost shut me out of my decision. Then I said the hell with it, this is my body, my health. I chose to not tell anyone else and move forward with my plans. Here recently my mom started supporting and respecting my decision and understands that with or without her support I am doing this.

I hope you get understanding and supportive people if you decide to mention things at work. Most of all I wish you the best of luck on your upcoming surgery and hope your recovery is speedy and uneventful.

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I haven't had surgery yet; however, I am having a hiatal hernia repaired at the same time as my surgery so I plan on telling customers I am having abdominal surgery to correct a hiatal hernia. Post-op as I lose weight and get skinnier, I plan on telling everyone I am watching what I eat and exercise.

All of this is truthful! You got to ask the right questions to get the right answers! :)

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Thank you. You too!

My husband and parents are great but my best friend who is a nurse is angry with me and another friend said she didn't think I needed it because as she put, "I'm not that big."

I decided I don't want their opinion or anyone else's so will keep it to myself. Problem is I don't know what to tell them as to why I will be out for two weeks.

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We all three share the same date ! I am August 6 too. only my mom, dad, brother and fiance know that I am having VSG. I told everyone else I am having my gallbladder removed, including work. When I am eating less when I return to work I will just say that I am nauseous from surgery and on a diet later on . Don't know if they will still buy it by then, but I probably won't care in the future anyway. Right now I just don't need the stress of feeling judged or worrying what other people think ( I know I know , I shouldn't care, but I do...)

I hope I don't actually need my gall bladder out any time soon!

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I kept it under wraps at work, but I had to tell my supervisor what I was doing, and when I told her, her reaction confirmed....... keep it quiet until AFTER. I had my surgery was out 3 weeks, I told EVERYONE when I went back. I knew I could not keep it a secret as the weight will fall off........ it has been 10 mos, and I had a male co worker come to me and he said I do not want you to take this the wrong way but you look fabulous....... I then told him... you do know I had weight loss surgery, he said NO........ what kind..we then had a long discussion, as he is thinking about it, after having open heart, and he has diabetis... I told him who my dr was.........and he confiding in me that he was looking into it................ I told him it was the BEST thing I had done for myself............and I was there to support him! cannot wait till he comes to me and says he is going to do it................ I want to be an example for others that need it.......and know they can come to me for support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thank you. You too!

My husband and parents are great but my best friend who is a nurse is angry with me and another friend said she didn't think I needed it because as she put, "I'm not that big."

I decided I don't want their opinion or anyone else's so will keep it to myself. Problem is I don't know what to tell them as to why I will be out for two weeks.

Exactly what my best friend said. Oh Honey your not that big anyway, you dont need surgery.. it drives me nuts when I think about it. I understand and know I a fat, I have accepted I am fat and am doing something about it, why couldn't she accept the same.

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I told EVERYONE when I went back.

I too am planning on telling everyone when it is all said and done. I have told my family and those closest to me, I have made up my mind and I do not want anyone trying to 'scare' me into not doing it, or trying to convince me otherwise. This is what I want to do, and I too hope I can be there for others who have questions and offer helpful advice.

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I told all the people that I give a hoot about at work what was going on. After all I was going to miss a good amount of time, so no matter what people would wonder where I was.

If a someone I do not know well asks how I am losing weight I tell them. Shucks, I have lost nearlt 50 pounds. It is obvious and I am very happy with my decision and with my results. Perhaps it will encourage otehrs to make a healthy change in their lives.

I hang out at a sports bar a lot. I drink tea now instead of being Miller Lite's best customer and brand abassador (LOL). So people see that. I tell them I had weight loss surgey and don't drink much anymore. If they ask more I tell more. If not, no biggie. Most people are interested to learn what it is like and what the various types are. Everyone has heard of the lap band and wonder what fills are... most are not really aware of the VSG and are interested. It is a great ice breaker. And since I am doing so well, I think I am a good spokesman (although the perks of being a Miller Lite spokesman have got to be way better).

I figure the VSG is a permanent life changer. It is not one where you can easily cheat. If you apply yourself you should be successful. Given that, you can not hide your weight loss. Why not embrace the new you.

Finally, I would add that it is damn difficult at times. I am having a good bit of trouble now with some solid foods. To be able to talk about it really helps. It is not like some dumb secret that I have to hide and be miserable all by myself. Everyone has been supportive, understanding and interested.

So my vote is to speard the word. For the people that know the big me.... I figure no harm in sharing. Of course, when I am all skinny, buff and a supper hottie.... it will be my secret. And any of you that give up my secret will find yourselves waking up on a rice farm in lower Mongolia... with a yak named Susie...

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Thank you. You too!

My husband and parents are great but my best friend who is a nurse is angry with me and another friend said she didn't think I needed it because as she put' date=' "I'm not that big."

I decided I don't want their opinion or anyone else's so will keep it to myself. Problem is I don't know what to tell them as to why I will be out for two weeks.[/quote']

I'm dealing with the same thing... I told my bestfriend if she loves me... Then she will respect what I choose to do in my life and stand beside me. .. As for my work... With the HIPPA Laws tell them your having abdominal Surgery.. And leave it at that... Not even the CEO of a hospital can break your records... Or it's their Job and Fines... I know this .. Because I work n healthcare...

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Thank you. You too!

My husband and parents are great but my best friend who is a nurse is angry with me and another friend said she didn't think I needed it because as she put' date=' "I'm not that big."

I decided I don't want their opinion or anyone else's so will keep it to myself. Problem is I don't know what to tell them as to why I will be out for two weeks.[/quote']

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All of the people I have talked to I have told. I waited for most of them until after the surgery was done though. I didn't want anything to happen and me not to get it and to have already told them. Everyone so far has been supportive. I'm sure not everyone will be, but I will cross that bridge when I get to it =p

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I just started my journey and already hit the wall with understanding. My parents still have no idea but I will tell them later on. ( before surgery) my sister support me but I think she scared of that surgery. one of my Friend is very supported and help me another trying to talk me out of it. so I end up saying that I still doing research and not sure if I will do it. this way I will listen less comments... and all of that only after 1st appointment. what would be before surgery....

I think I will end up keep it quiet until surgery is over and after that I might share.

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Thanks all for the feedback. I guess this is the only part that didn't come up anywhere else. Tricky for sure. I just told my team at work that I was taking 2 weeks personal leave. I will decide after if I want to explain more. One person pried but the rest just let it be. My manager knows I'm having surgery but not what kind. I simply told her I was having surgery and they tell me it will take 2 weeks to recover. God knows what they must think. :huh:

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Eh, who cares what they think. Easier said than done though, I know. My immediate family knows (as I moved back in with them to help out a few months ago..would be kind of hard to hide it from them) and a few friends know. All work knows is that I'm having surgery and will be back after x number of days. School doesn't know a darn thing about it cause it's none of their bees wax. You tell people if and when you feel comfortable to tell that specific person, and that is a very personal decision for everyone. I know there are some people that I work with who I will NEVER tell, just because of how judgmental they are about WLS, and these are people who WORK with patients who have it done...blows my mind.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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