Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

So If You Know, Why Don't You....



Recommended Posts

Thought about your question all night.... I have said it myself it for years.... tried crazy and healthy diets only to gain all the weight lost back and more. So at this point about a month from my surgery, I honestly have said... ""If I could do that, don't you think I would?" Add to that if there was a surgical procedure that could help an alcoholic or drug addict would I tell them to keep trying to resist without it? That is what people are doing to tell me to try to do this diet/weight loss with out the help/tool the sleeve offers.

Another thing I have done is, as I told the few I have told about my decision to get the sleeve, I have stated first, "I am not asking for your opinion or approval, I have made a decision and you are one of the few people I trust enough to tell about it....."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually, yes - she does have a weight problem - it is my mother!

She states she hates to see me go through this procedure to come out the other side regretting the decision and not being able to eat and enjoy life.

Hilarious, I know.... :) She just doesn't get it....

I'm also getting this from my mom, who also fights her weight but isn't as big as I am. Some of it I think is jealosy, which she does admit to, but I do believe alot of it is being worried about it. When it's all over and we are healthy and dropping the weight, they will understand more. It does hurt my feelings, especially being it's my mom and that should be the one person who supports you the most, but again, in my case anyway, it's being worried of the unknown. I suspect she will change her mind and come around after it's all said and done. Good luck to you!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I honestly think it's not a bad thing for us to have to think about that question--whether or not it comes from anyone "outside," WE should be thinking about that. I know I struggled about it for a couple of years--why couldn't I just do it "the hard way," "the old-fashioned way," "the disciplined way," oh, and here's my favorite, "the natural way." And this was MY inner voice, MY brain, MY question, not coming from anyone else. Why couldn't I do it? Then I realized I did do it--time and again, over and over. I could lose weight, no problem. And I did--you probably did, too! We just can't keep it off long-term.

And we're not alone. My husband showed me a scientific article (that I can't find now, of course, when I want it!) that said that only 5% of people with more than 100 pounds to lose were going to be able to lose it all with diet and exercise AND that fewer than 1% would manage to keep it off long term. Those odds are horrible. I wanted/needed to do something that I knew would work for me.

In my case, nobody said anything negative about my decision to have the surgery, but I'm from a heavy family where several folks have already had bypass, plus my husband had the sleeve a year ahead of me. I think everyone was sort of relieved, honestly, because I had gotten so big--they wanted me to be healthier. But I think every sleever is going to come across the question of "Why don't you just ___ (fill in the blank here with something that is a subtle slam about your self-discipline, poor eating habits, laziness, whatever) instead of having surgery," and we need to know for ourselves that we are making the right decision. Thinking it through will either bring more questions or it will solidify your decision. I knew I wasn't lazy or crazy--and I knew I wanted to be healthy. The sleeve was the means to an end, a great tool. I still had to obtain it and learn how to use it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I try to appeal to logic, so I would probably say something like, "Have you ever tried living off a half a hamburger?" If anyone can answer yes, they're lying or they're 4 years old.

Or I would say, "I WILL be doing just that." (I get the point, but I think I'd remain willfully ignorant, to make my own point.)

I have heard this from numerous people when I tell them I am having a vertical sleeve gastrectomy.

"So if you know you will only be able to eat half a hamburger for the rest of your life, why don't you do just that?"

How do you respond to this question????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I simply look at it like this... I am addicted to food, just any other addiction assistance is needed. So WLS is my assistance, and yes others may have done it naturally but that does not work for everyone. I have tried all the different types of diets and am just tired of being a yo-yo. So this is what will work best for me, so that I can begin my journey to a healthier me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've had conversations similar to this, and have had great luck explaining that it is the lack of hunger that now allows me to stop at such a small amount of food. With hunger, there is no way we could eat so little....it just wouldn't happen. I've challenged people who were critical to eat what I eat in a day, and see if they could manage it with "just diet and exercise". No takers yet. LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually, yes - she does have a weight problem - it is my mother!

She states she hates to see me go through this procedure to come out the other side regretting the decision and not being able to eat and enjoy life.

Hilarious, I know.... :) She just doesn't get it....

That's Exactly what my mother said. Enjoyment of life does not equal eating. I'll tell you what enjoyment is:

Being able to slide into a booth with ease

Being able to ride any amusement park ride

Being able to wear a swimsuit

Being able to go on Water slides

Being able to ride a horse

Being able to hike up a mountain

Being able to ride my bike

Being able to wear cute clothes ,,,,

and the list goes on. BTW, I still really enjoy food to.

Why didn't I eat 1/2 the hamburger and call it good? Why didn't I just eat less?

Because maybe I could do it for a month or two, then I would finally break and just binge. Now I have no desire to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And we're not alone. My husband showed me a scientific article (that I can't find now, of course, when I want it!) that said that only 5% of people with more than 100 pounds to lose were going to be able to lose it all with diet and exercise AND that fewer than 1% would manage to keep it off long term. Those odds are horrible. I wanted/needed to do something that I knew would work for me.

I was one of those. I got down to my goal weight and gain it all and more back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×