Im Not Ashamed But Need Help Coping With Questions I Dont Want To Answer...

[LouiseC 1,029]

Ok' date=' what the heck is a PA. I always thought Physicians Assistant. But that makes no sense in this context.[/quote']

Personal assistant. Formerly known as a secretary. But basically the dude that makes sure I am where I need to be, with the right papers and my **** together. He is like having my mum at work;-)

Sent from my iPad using VST

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Personal assistant. Formerly known as a secretary. But basically the dude that makes sure I am where I need to be' date=' with the right papers and my **** together. He is like having my mum at work;-)

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

Ha ha ha, a human iPhone w/Siri

[MKinVA 20]

I have not been very open about my surgery, but I am not hiding it either. I have told my close friends and close co-workers, but the others will probably figure it out as I continue to lose weight. As a teacher, I am sure that I will start to get questions and comments from my students... I will just smile and keep on working!

[NDN_RN 527]

I work for satan himself .

Amd I work for hos wife LOL. I plan to tell no one, except my husband, pme of my 9 kids, my 19 year old daughter and my best friend. I work feom he and go into team meetings monthly. I want to see their jaws drop when they see my weightloss month to month. All I plan to say is i diet and exercise. I told my boss i was having gall bladder problems to set up the surgery. I already had my GB out, so it womt haunt me later on.

[NDN_RN 527]

Omg i hate my iphone typos. I work from home. I have 9 kids. I. Think youll figure out the rest

[KristiP 51]

I don't want anyone to know, because I don't feel like dealing with the endless garage of bull**** I will have deal with over being too lazy to do it " the hard way", "taking the easy way out", "cheating and taking credit where IRS not deserved"..... You name it I will hear it. I work with a lot of people who are just snobs in general, but a lot of them are super health snobs/elitists. If you're not making dieting and hitting the gym a second full time job then you're just a big fat lazy slob and not worth the time of even saying good morning to. there are a lot who will not acknowledge my 'good morning'......but will acknowledge my thinner co-workers. Sad, but true.

My husband knows (obviously), my mom knows, my sister knows, I suppose my sisters husband knows (I'm alright with that, he's a really good guy) but that's it. I don't want my dad to know because he already doesn't think much of me (no, really......it has been said, in so many words!). I absolutely under no circumstances want my in laws or husbands family to know. I would never, ever hear the end of it. I would never be able to eat or drink a crumb without being interrogated about whether or not I'm 'allowed to have it', I would always have to recap how I'm 'going', and endure constant criticisms of how I 'should be much thinner by now, surely'. Because that's how it was with the band.......until I didn't turn into a stick insect over night (because that's the ultimate health marker in this family.......if you're not anorexic looking then you are fat fat fat and going to die in about 3 minutes.)

So, I'm not ashamed, but I just don't feel like dealing with all the a**holes in the world any more than I already have to! :-D

I plan on telling people that ask that I'm having lady surgery. It's technically not a lie.....I'm a lady.....I'm having surgery. End of story.

[KristiP 51]

I really hate the auto correct on iPad! Please excuse this things that make no sense......no idea how the IRS got mentioned! Hahaha

[butterbean 30]

This is very hard for me too. My coworkers haven't seen me since 8 days before surgery and I'm almost 2 MONTHS postop. I look different! I saw a few today and they asked too many questions...typical conversation...

Them: You've lost weight? What are you doing??

Me: Thank you! Portion Control, eating lean Protein, lot of Water, exercising...just really committed!

Them: Are you taking pills? did you go to the doctor?

Me: Just Vitamins. I've seen a nutritonist too.

Them: How much have you lost?

Me: Since when? Haha! Over a lifetime probably a thousand pounds, this time I'm committed to keeping it off?

Them: Good for you! Did you have a bypass???

Me: CRAZY look on my face...No, gastric bypass is not for me.

I never lie, but I am not truthful. I feel sleezy and dishonest. I teach so I interact with a lot of women, and they don't let things go easily. I just don't want to be judged.

[butterbean 30]

I don't want anyone to know, because I don't feel like dealing with the endless garage of bull**** I will have deal with over being too lazy to do it " the hard way", "taking the easy way out", "cheating and taking credit where IRS not deserved"..... You name it I will hear it. I work with a lot of people who are just snobs in general, but a lot of them are super health snobs/elitists. If you're not making dieting and hitting the gym a second full time job then you're just a big fat lazy slob and not worth the time of even saying good morning to. there are a lot who will not acknowledge my 'good morning'......but will acknowledge my thinner co-workers. Sad, but true.

My husband knows (obviously), my mom knows, my sister knows, I suppose my sisters husband knows (I'm alright with that, he's a really good guy) but that's it. I don't want my dad to know because he already doesn't think much of me (no, really......it has been said, in so many words!). I absolutely under no circumstances want my in laws or husbands family to know. I would never, ever hear the end of it. I would never be able to eat or drink a crumb without being interrogated about whether or not I'm 'allowed to have it', I would always have to recap how I'm 'going', and endure constant criticisms of how I 'should be much thinner by now, surely'. Because that's how it was with the band.......until I didn't turn into a stick insect over night (because that's the ultimate health marker in this family.......if you're not anorexic looking then you are fat fat fat and going to die in about 3 minutes.)

So, I'm not ashamed, but I just don't feel like dealing with all the a**holes in the world any more than I already have to! :-D

I plan on telling people that ask that I'm having lady surgery. It's technically not a lie.....I'm a lady.....I'm having surgery. End of story.

yes...I feel the same way. Lots of health nuts that print out research to give to me saying how awful Crystal Lite is. Really?? They don't have anything better to do???

[bigkim 109]

I was sleeved April 10th. Starting weight 261 and now 210. I work at a doctors office and everyone knows about my surg. Since I am the practice administer I don't get rude comments to my face, but I am sure the fat jokes exist. Don't really care. I love the new me and I love the fact that I can live a longer active healthy life for my husband and children. Work it just that "work". I don't tend to have personal relationships with the staff and they are clear on that issue.

Sadly the only person in my family that knows is my husband and sister. I did not tell the kids because I did not want to worry them. They have noticed the wieght loss and also commented on me being more active.

You do what make u happy and that is what matters the most.

[KristiP 51]

yes...I feel the same way. Lots of health nuts that print out research to give to me saying how awful Crystal Lite is. Really?? They don't have anything better to do???

Oh, yeah, I get that too! Here are some real, and recent excerpts from my life:

I have my one per day can of caffeine free Pepsi Light with lunch, I get the whole lecture about how soft drinks are the devil and the root of all evil and how I'm just killing myself with that s***, that it causes osteoporosis, and don't I know that the sweeteners are basically a type of neurotoxin blah blah blah...."

Ok first......it's my body and I'll wreck it if I want to (for the record I do not think one soft drink a day is wrecking anything) and second IT'S A BIG FAT FLAMING SACK OF NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

I also am a huge fan of this: I am having a salad for lunch with nothing but salad veggies (no cheese, bacon bits, croutons, nuts, seeds....) in it and decide to use my carefully measured 2 tbsp of Salad Dressing, which earns me the lecture from the resident self appointed health food patrol "Now see....that's where you're dieting all wrong. You've taken a nice healthy lunch and just wrecked by drowning it in that garbage blah blah blah.....".

Alright first......it's MY lunch, not yours. Second, I think 2 tbsp of salad dressing over a gigantic bowl of lettuce and salad veggies hardly constitutes DROWNING of anything. Third, my dressing is balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil, not the puree of a Mars Bar. Fourth and finally, you just assume that because I'm fat that my eating a salad is indicative of me being on a diet and thus I am wrecking the whole thing.......so you need to provide unsolicited advice and commentary by sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong and was not invited?

Oh how I wish these people would take the lead of the others who don't acknowledge my fat existence and just ignore me. But no! they want to save me from myself.....but only if I do it THEIR way.

It is this kind of history that makes me resist sharing my journey with them.

But everyone is different and I applaud those who tell people without a blink of the eye.

[Brisbanealex 3]

For God sake you have taken action to improve your life, those who you touch and there is no negative side for anyone.......why the ell would anyone feel any guilt. You should e praised for doing what is right for you, you family and get on with enjoying it......

[Kayargh 112]

Only immediate family and a select few friends know about my upcoming sleeve. I have thought about using another ailment to explain the surgery- but didn't want to lie and say I had something I haven't. When I do have surgery I will be telling those who NEED to know that I am having laporospic surgery for a personal medical issue. For the weightloss, I will be telling those who ask that I made appointments to see a nutritionist, an exercise physiologist and have had several psychology visits to deal with the reasons I over eat- because that I exactly what I have done. The fact that I will be having surgery afterwards is of no concern to them- so why mention it?

[sassypants 674]

I think the reason some co workers ask is they think you have a bad/long term illness when you suddenly lose weight so they ask out of both nosiness and fear like oh my god if she/he’s off for 6 months for a bad illness then what!

If you have said you are fine not to worry they should take you at that and let it be.

My best friend is currently pregnant and you can clearly see she is but no one has asked and no one will ask because they by law are not allowed to.

She has told her direct boss she actually told him Thursday and said do NOT tell anyone, if people start coming up to her or other members of staff say her boss said something she can sure them.

No work place NEEDS to know anything if your not taking days/weeks off sick all the time and its not effecting your work they need to keep out of it.