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Anyone out there been sleeved without telling anyone? Do people look at you weird when you only take two bites of a meal and are done? Perhaps I'll change my mind, but right now I don't plan on telling a whole lot of people, but I'm worried about social gatherings and whether people will realize that somethings up. Your thoughts?

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My picture is not on here - so that is a dead give away that many people do not know that I had VSG surgery. My group of friends in SoCal group - some call me the "secret keeper"

I only told my DH and a select few close girlfriends. That is it...for months. My mom did not know for over 3 months and she lives blocks away. She was told after she complimented me on how I was actually keeping the weight off. As I told her of my decision, I thanked her (and her size 4 body) for being a trigger for getting surgery. She told me I should just tape my mouth shut at one point. That was my "this is it" point.

Reason for secret- I did not want any negative feedback, stories of "friends of friends" or input. I did my background check on surgeon, checked references, scoured the web and knew what I was getting into (for the most part).

I built my support system with those who would love me through the journey plus I had the support here.

Still - almost 2 years out not all my family knows. Most of my friends still do not. Do I eat differently at parties? Yes, but that is to maintain my new figure. :)

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I didn't tell anyone either, only my wife & kids know. Our families live in another state which we will be visiting for Christmas. Now I just have to figure out what to tell them when they ask why I'm about 100 lbs lighter than I was last Christmas!

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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I didn't tell anyone either' date=' only my wife & kids know. Our families live in another state which we will be visiting for Christmas. Now I just have to figure out what to tell them when they ask why I'm about 100 lbs lighter than I was last Christmas!

Sent from my iPhone using VST[/quote']

Because you're awesome!

I've only told a select few as well. Same as above, don't want it need feedback, judgement or even the never ending inquisition.

One friend I chose to tell has several times questioned how I can 'stand' to have liquid diet and keeps asking if I miss food. She is of healthy weight, so she's not asking for her own information iykwim... Now wish she didn't know!

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You're awesome too :-)

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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I'm only a few weeks out but my experiencing is teaching me that people now assume it. :( I did not tell many people either and I knew who I could tell to keep it private and have a good attitude about it, and I knew who would be negative and gossipy. People ask my husband, not me, if I have had surgery which is very rude imo. When people have watched me struggle with my weight for years and then they see me losing weight at this pace, they just assume I've had it.

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Anyone out there been sleeved without telling anyone? Do people look at you weird when you only take two bites of a meal and are done? Perhaps I'll change my mind, but right now I don't plan on telling a whole lot of people, but I'm worried about social gatherings and whether people will realize that somethings up. Your thoughts?

I didn't tell that many people pre-op. I was confident in my decision and I didn't want to hear the "horror stories," etc. but I've had no issues telling people post op. Most of the time I wait until they ask how I've lost weight, etc. but sometimes I bring it up. I've lost close to 140 in a bit over a year, so it's pretty obvious, I think. Why hide it? Also, I had some other serious health issues that I discovered after my WLS ( and completely non WLS related) and people kept trying to shove food in me, thinking that would help. Lol. I know everyone is different. I really don't have much of a filter so I have no problem being honest with people. Whether its being honest about my surgery, or telling people to mind their own business if Ive been given a negative reaction about it. Which has maybe happened once.

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I told everybody. No problem. If they disagree with my decision, that's on them. If tey want to talk behind my back, so be it. Like I said, not my problem. I'll call it jealousy. :-)

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I told everyone! I have had the most amazing support ever! I did not want to think of lies or excuses why I can't eat, drink and why I am dropping so much weight. I didn't want people to think I had cancer or something else. You have to make te decision yourself. If people are negative then I know they are not true friends and not worth my time. So far I have not had a single person be negative

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Yesterday I went the grocery store in another town, an a pushy lady was offering ciobani yogurt samples. I simply said do u have a plain one? She said I do but try this one. I said no, I've just had surgery and I'm on a restricted diet, just the plain thanks. She said OH lapband? I said no, sleeve. Then proceeded to explain the differences and answer her questions. I spent way more time than I really had but she was a bit overweight and her questions seemed innocent enough.

Then she looks in my trolley and says, surely you shouldn't be buying those Cookies then?

So I'm standing there explaining to this woman I don't know why I have a pack of cookies in my trolley! I have a husband, a 17 and toddler twins! The older 2 like cookies, eat in moderation and do not have weight issues.

Just rude IMO!

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I have no problem with my decision to undergo the VSG, I just don't tell anyone just for the sake of not having to explain my actions to people whose opinions have no value to me. Those people close to me know and that's fine with me.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 2 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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