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My Hubby Doesn't Support Me Spending $15K For Surgery



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i had my sleeve done in mexico at hospital jerusalem. and it went perfect and they treat you like royalty. The cost was 4500 and my surgury and the ten other patient that were sleeved by Dr. alamanza went very well. Im taking my son back in january to be sleeved. So research jerusalem hospital you will not be disappointed. best decision of my life.

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I don't understand why he doesn't want you to get the surgery. Doesn't he want you to be healthier? SBD has a good idea. See if you can get support from other family members.

A 401k loan is okay only if your job is stable. I would see if care credit can approve you for a loan.

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One way or the other, you're going to pay. Whether it be in medical bills associated to being overweight, possible wage discrimination or having a WLS surgery. 10 years from now, it will all be the same. Choice is, though, who do you want to be 10 years from now? Someone doing the same old diet battles or someone with a tool helping them lead a healthier lifestyle?

I took a loan out for my surgery and it has been paying itself off already. Restaurant bills alone are much smaller when you are sharing your spouse's meal. Grocery bills are lower, too.

Not wanting the surgery for monetary reasons is a poor excuse for the spouse of a wanna be sleever. Long term, it just doesn't hold Water ...

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I paid $18K out of pocket. It kills me, but the benefits have way out-weighted spending the $$$. I agree what was said about I'll get back the money in the long run. I spent so much money on junk food and sweets! :( I was at the age that my health was going to start being affected, too. I had a friend who took out an interest-free loan for 12 months. Ask you doctor if he knows of any plans. We sure have heard some success stories about getting surgery done in Mexico, too. Best wishes to you. xoxo

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Hi,

Like you my FAMILY does not support me in doing the surgery. I am a single mother of 3 and my mother......2 of my kids and my mom think I shouldn't do it. I have been trying to have the surgery since 2005. I got all the way up to 2 weeks before my surgery and I had to bring a support person to my appt before surgery. My support, so I thought, was my mother. She talked so much crap to my surgeon, that he canceled my surgery because he knew that they would sabotage me. And, YES, they did. My mom was the worst, getting the kids to agree with her. Then she scared me and said that if I died, that my kids would be in foster care cus I could have prevented my death. That made me mad and scared at the same time. Yeah, I have lost 80lbs in the past. But gained it right back and then some. I got to 369lbs and then they called me fat this and fat that. you don't need to eat that, it'll make you bigger. All kinds of nasty things. So I went for the surgery AGAIN.....This time I chickened out, because of what my mother said to me again. Then I lost 70lbs...thought I could do it. Scheduled surgery 3rd time, and my labs were off the rocker. I lost 70lbs because my thyroid was going haywire and killing me slowly. Surgery canceled again. I got DISGUSTED and gained 40lbs. So here I am AGAIN and this time I am GOING TO DO IT NO MATTER WHAT ANYBODY SAYS! When I first started out, my youngest child was 3 years old....Now she is 10 years old and weighs 130lbs. I look at her and cry, because I DID THAT TO HER....she's overweight, because of me. I don't want her to grow up being bullied because of her weight and it has started with the new neighborhood kids. I just can't take it. I made my mother take a look at my daughter and I told her, she is gaining all this weight because her mother is fat. I find my mother putting my 10 years old daughter down because of her weight, and I know it makes her feel bad, because it makes me feel bad and I comfort her with the food that my mother says she shouldn't eat. I want to have this surgery for my daughter. If she see's that I am eating healthier and losing weight, then she will be more accepting to losing weight with me.

So I feel for you when you don't have the support from the people that you love the most. However you pay for it......DO THIS FOR YOURSELF and in the end, your husband will appreciate and love the results. For me, I'm doing this for my daughter FIRST and then myself. I want her to be happy and I will be happy again. Your husband will come around and will enjoy the results. As for my mother, she see's what my weight is doing to my daughter, because almost everything that I eat...my daughter wants to eat too! So now, my mother is a little more supportive and my daughter and son are on the band wagon with me and fully support me now.

Take care and GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

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didn't mean to post - ooops

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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