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Throwing in the towel



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Marys - Thank you so much for such an honest post. Its not always perfect weight loss and roses for everyone, including myself. I had lost 80 of the 100 I wanted to lose by March (banded 10/04), had plastic surgery, a 4 month unfill, complications from the surgery, and a regain of 30 pounds. And here I am, 6 months later, approaching my 2 year anniversary and completely depressed over it. Just a few nigths ago a Jenny Craig commercial came on and I told my hubby I wanted to try it. The truth is that I tried Nutrisystem before my band surgery and hated it, but I am desperate right now. I need to find that happy place I was at when I was losing steadily - for me, I hit a bump in the road and haven't refound my focus. I don't regret the band - because I know what happens to me if its unfilled. I need to find control, focus, and a rededication to the process. I wish it was easier! I hope you find the right answer for you - I think its great that you're acknowledging that you need help, and if Jenny Craig or any program helps you get to goal, then I say go for it & good luck!!

Kristin

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Mary, if you can lose more weight with Nutrisystem, pills, etc. why did you decide to get banded? I'm

I can answer this for myself, and I know it's an honest question, not a smark-alecky one, so here's my answer.

With the band, it's actually possible for me to stick to something like Nutrisystems for more than a day. Or a week, or a month at that. I'm actually satisfied with diet portioned foods.

Now, when I hit goal, some sweet day, I fully expect to need to watch my intake (food quality). Thing is, it's hard for me to eat 1500 nutritious calories a day banded. I can eat 2500 calories of crap banded, though. cheese is way high in fat. Junk food is evil, and noone, banded or unbanded, can eat 1800-2000 calories a day of junk food and maintain any weight loss. That I know of, anyway.

I don't think of using another tool (Nutrisystems) as failing with the band. it's doing what it takes to get to goal.

I also have some opinions about what to do when getting to goal, and it's spelled out pretty nicely in my Curves Handbook. Phase 3. You never gain more than you can lose in 2-3 days of "dieting". For most folks that's 3-4 pounds.

Say my "low weight" is 143. When I get there, I eat like I want to until I get to 147, then I "diet" till I lose it again. Then eat again till I get to 147, then diet again. After months of this (and it takes weighing daily and keeping a chart) I should only be "dieting" a few days out of each month in order to maintain my loss.

All this is speculation for me at this stage of the game, but it seems to work with my plateaus.

Anyhow, unbanded, Nutrisystems is a waste of money. I'd love to do it banded for a few months. I'll bet it helps alot! Good luck!

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Kathy- You finally hit the nail on the head for me. You explained, I think, why some posts I read are all about the fantastic successes people are having with the band, and some are all about problems and failure. It also explains why my family doc is against LB. He says you can defeat it and then where will you be...

You explained it to me so that I can understand. You find it very difficult to eat 1500 calories of nutritious food when banded, but find it easy to eat 2500 calories of crap banded.

Light bulb moment. That's telling me that I need to try to always get the nutritious stuff down first and then I hopefully won't have room for, or a preoccupation with the crap that I usually eat. That's where the difficulty lies with making the LB work! Duh. I'm pretty slow. Now I get it.

It isn't so much the LB itself that fails or succeeds. It's about focusing on nutritious foods first! Obviously not easy - but I hope doable!

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Kathy- You finally hit the nail on the head for me. You explained, I think, why some posts I read are all about the fantastic successes people are having with the band, and some are all about problems and failure. It also explains why my family doc is against LB. He says you can defeat it and then where will you be...

You explained it to me so that I can understand. You find it very difficult to eat 1500 calories of nutritious food when banded, but find it easy to eat 2500 calories of crap banded.

Light bulb moment. That's telling me that I need to try to always get the nutritious stuff down first and then I hopefully won't have room for, or a preoccupation with the crap that I usually eat. That's where the difficulty lies with making the LB work! Duh. I'm pretty slow. Now I get it.

It isn't so much the LB itself that fails or succeeds. It's about focusing on nutritious foods first! Obviously not easy - but I hope doable!

Wow. My life is now complete. SIGH. I'm not alone and someone gets what I said!! LOL It's a good feeling. Thanks :hungry:

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Wow, that is a informative chart!

Ima gonna count my cal. just see what I am eating.

I have not counted since banding, But now that I'm at a stall it would be neat to see where I'm at!

Nana~

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StrawartS: Why do you wish you'd seen the chart prior to surgery? Just for the information, or are you shocked as I am, about the number of calories we're expected to eat for so many months?

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The calorie thing doesn't bother me. I have always known that I will not lose weight unless I eat around 800 calories a day. I only wanted to lose 50-60 lbs. anyway, so the difference in the calories needed to maintain my heavier body vs. my ideal weight body is not that drastic.

I wish someone would have told me that the lapband takes effort. I understood that it just makes you eat less and that you lose weight without thinking about it. I have fought for every pound, either by throwing up and being in pain, or starving because it was just too painful to try to eat. I also refuse to exercise; I never have, never will. If I had been told that I had to pay fifteen grand to lose 25 lbs., I would have looked at another surgery - probably the VG.

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Ok. You're scaring me.

I understand that it's only a tool. But I didn't think it would be THAT hard!

Right now I'm on a pre-suirgery Protein shake twice a day, with a low-cal meal for supper. My tummy is pretty much growling non-stop. You mean it's always going to be this hard?

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I feel like I have fought for every pound, as well. Except for the first 15, that weight just fell off.

My "technique" has been to be sure not to be too tight. I can eat well, properly, normally, with a band that isn't too tight.

My band has been too tight lately. It started a week and a half ago at that TOM. It hasn't let up, for some reason. I have struggled with getting stuck and even PBd the other day. I have been keeping my diet mushy and drinking aloe vera juice to get myself out of the swollen cycle...I'm ready to eat normally. I find myself hungry and nibbling easy foods. It's a battle, for sure, but one that I expected, to a degree.

165 is my mark. If I can get there and maintain, my money will have been well spent. The next 20 after that is gravy for me, but I'll do it. Just slowly, to be sure!

Strawarts, will you revise to the VG? Or are you ging to sweat it out with the band (sans exercise, that is!)

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No, I'm not going to revise, because the more surgical procedures I have, the more I realize that doctors really know very litte. We are all guinea pigs. And now I personally assume that all these procedures fail after their shelf life.

BJean, sorry to scare you. I'm pessimistic by nature, so take all my ramblings with a grain of salt.

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I don't disagree with your assessment of doctors. That's why they call what they do "practice"! :-) Everytime a person goes under the knife they're a guinea pig. Some docs are better and know more than others. All you can do is research and look at their stats.

Doctors know very little about obesity. They sure weren't taught anything in school. Nutritionists and dieticians only know the latest jargon. They're great for people who have no clue about foods, calories and eating better.

We have to listen to our bodies. We have to be pro-active. But that's what I thought I was doing with this surgery. I know that there's no real medical answer to my problem. So I decided to use this so-called "tool" to get some assist.

The longer I'm online reading all this LB talk, the further I am from feeling like I have a real grasp of what I should do.

You shouldn't apologize for your feelings or for talking about your experiences. They are just as valid and real as anyone else's. I'm just dazed and confused right now. Grasping at anything to keep my resolve to not only have the surgery, but to also get to a normal weight for me.

I'm not to the hand-wringing yet. But I'm close.

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This thread started with talk of fills vs no fills, I am set for my first on Sept 6, at 17 weeks out. It is time to get a fill, I am just too hungry. I still have restriction as I can eat a lot but not like my pre-banding days.

My honesty is that pre-surgery they told me the lapband helps me lose weight but I have to work with it. They told me I'd have to change my lifetime bad eating habits and change my attitude AND the band would help me. I just didn't hear it! I was so desepate, I grasped at a possible solution with so much blind faith and HOPE that it would help. And it did.

Everything they said was true. It only works if I work with it. AND it is so HARD to change a lifetime of bad habits BUT I NEVER could have come this far without the band. I don't have to like changing my attitude but I love feeling BETTER! But it isn't easy.

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Sorry. I probably got the thread off track. But I'm glad you came in. You have done really well! You're practically half way to goal!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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