I was talking to my "friend" about my upcoming sleeve surgery. She was so negative and kept reiterating how I "could die" from surgery. Then she kept telling me how miserable I would be after surgery bc I could never eat normal again. In the same breath, she made a comment saying, "I mean if I could get WLS and have it covered by insurance I would probably do it too." why are people so negative and nasty?!?! Ugh!

Ahh you are all so awesome!! thank you for the kind words and support. It feels nice to vent to people who understand what I'm going through! Some people are just down right rude! And you all are right, jealousy is definitely apparent. Oh well, I don't have time for ignorance like that in my "new" lifestyle. I look forward to my new future!

You see...I can't have children. All my friends have kids. I am very jealous. I cry a lot about it and it is very difficult to be around my friends. I love their kids, but their life is different. They go take the kids to birthday parties, they always talk about them... It isn't easy for me, and I keep my distance. I am never mean or rude which may be different from some people do, but everyone processes things differently. They may be mean or distant, but the truth is things have changed. So you may win some or lose some, but don't be too upset or try to reach out to them.

Its true that people can be rude with the comments they make....when that happens, the ball is then in your court...either you fake laugh and pretend to hang with them and be "friends" with then OR you choose to not f*ck with them anymore....

But dont drop to their level....let trash talk stay in the trash area....

I think people that we are close to may fear we will change and that this will mean that they also have to change. My sister, whom I love dearly, was immediately concerned about the future of our girls nights on the wine. She was very supportive and pleased with my decision, but still quick to identify that my change will alter her reality. It will alter the way we relate, communicate and socialize. I have realised i need to remember that.

Friends and family who depend on me to be and act a certain way are going to have to adjust to the "new" me, and for some it is challenging as they are left with no choice but to examine their own health and wellbeing as a consequence of my own decision.

So please do not judge your friend too harshly, unless she turns psycho jealous and competitive like some of the other examples given in the thread and if so, take the advice earlier of adding her to the weight you plan to lose! Lol

I am the fat girl in my circle of friends. I have told my close friend about the wls and put them on notice that they will need to find a new fat girl 'cuz hopefully I won't fit the criteria much longer!

LouiseC you are so right! I've never really thought about it this way AND this attitude/behavior pertains to other successes one has in their lives. Truly eye opening moment for me.

LouiseC you are so right! I've never really thought about it this way AND this attitude/behavior pertains to other successes one has in their lives. Truly eye opening moment for me.

Great stories. I am lucky I don't have any friends.

I have been aked "if I was sick",or."I did not know it was you until I heard your voice. "( Do I sound like a mouse or something?) and other comments. But they are good. It's better than being fat. Lost 115 pounds.

Blees you all for doing what's good for you.

Lol...when you loose the weight, start a workout regime you will notice they kind of people you enjoy being around...I am around positive people and others who are health conscious...no time for negative people, gossip, or attitudes...Keep your mind body and soul hapoy and healthy! Especially before you go through surgery. Good luck and GOD bless!

It really is called a jealous friend. I have a co-worker I told I was having the surgery she told me so many negative things about it, then I found out she asked her doctor If she qualified. He told her no which made her even more upset. I came back from work 3 months later and 40 pounds lighter she walked right by me. Oh well!! Our gain....confidence, health and happiness.

Thank goodness for all those who support and understand, as for those others, tell them to try it on their own their whole lives and see what they say. They don't understand. It's not like we just woke up and said I'm going to have WLS. I, for one, have had this struggle most my life (20 years) I'm now 30. So tell them to kiss ur a** and have a great day!

Great stories. I am lucky I don't have any friends.

hey Papa Jack

I am your new friend, as are all of your other sleevers. we really are - so please join us - we don't see much of you,

please come around and play

best

kathy

One of my daughters "slipped" and told a neighbor about me having the surgery. I got the usual comments and then...I'd NEVER do that. I replied that condemnation never did anyone any good. When she got hostile I said : "when i was first married, I made a sampler that was an old Indian Proverb - Let me not criticize my neighbor until I have walked a mile in her moccasins". She backed off real quick!

I am not ashamed of my decision. But I refuse to let anyone else's hangups affect that decision.

I've had a couple of friends do the disappearing act as my weight has disappeared. It sucks' date=' but it shows THEIR insecurity and jealousy. I suspect a couple more are going the same way before this is all done, especially one who keeps telling me how great I look at that I shouldn't lose any more weight. I still weigh close to 250 and have about 60 more pounds to hit goal...I'm not done.

What has surprised me even more is the people who are suddenly dieting and exercising since I've started sharing my journey on my FB page![/quote']

Me too! Weight watchers, nutrisystem and several local gyms owe me money because ALL of my fat friends are dieting right now. We have a big gala to go to in feb and they are all saying "we are going to look so great". It started as soon as I went public. I hope and pray that we all look great but I know the odds are in my favor more than everyone else.

LOL... People are so funny! My friend who is pretty consistent in the size 10-12 range had posted she was selling some of her size nine clothes. When I saw her at church I said "hey, if you end up just giving those clothes away I can take them for after wls." She said to me "You better not get smaller then me! I don't want to be the chubby friend!" I laughed and gave her a hug and said so what size am I allowed to get down to? She said a 10. heheheh I am fine with that lol!!! My surgeon said the ideal weight for 5 ft 1 was 105. I laughed. He continued with saying that most people with the sleeve lose 60 % of their excess weight which puts me at a goal weight of 156. Fine with me. SHould still be able to keep that friend... heheheheh