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I knew at some point my kids would be made fun of because of my weight. I just knew it would happen.

Last week the kids came home saying that kids at school made fun of them because we "only eat fried food". We eat next to no fried food and the kids said so. The kids at school said that we do eat fried food that is why their mom is so fat :(

I want this surgery over and done with like yesterday.

I still have to wait until November/December.

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Oh gosh I am so sorry this happened to you, that is bad on their parents! My3 year old has never said anything to me about my weight, but we saw a man one day at a pizza place and my son said "wow... he has a huuuge stomach" I was so embarrassed even though the man didn't hear... at least he acted like he didn't, but I took my son into the bathroom and had a good talking to about how that can hurt peoples feelings and we don't say things like that, and that has stuck with him, and I'll make sure he remembers not to hurt peoples feelings. It starts when kids are young and how they are raised to treat others. This will all be over for us soon enough, now its up to us to teach our kids differently so they do not have to go through the same thing, and don't treat others that way.

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Oh I'm sorry - words hurt so bad and we can't "unhear" them - you will be very successful for your health and your kids health - try not to let those hurtful things set the tone for your journey - good luck with everything!!!

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It is terrible that children can be so cruel but they had to have learned it at home unfortunately. Just let it go in one ear and out the other. Your children are amazing for standing up to the fact about fried foods. Your surgery will be here before you know it !! Hang in there!!

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I had surgery over a month ago....we were at costco today, and I purchased a slice of pizza for my daughter from their little food-court thing (we rarely have junk at home, and she's had a real yen for pizza the last several weeks)...and this skinny broad in line behind me starts making these very obviously loud comments to the woman next to her about how terrible it is that PEOPLE can't rein themselves in and how last she knew, Costco sells SALADS, etc. People are cruel no matter what. Surgery changes nothing. They have no idea that I've lost almost 50lbs, or that I can barely get down 400 calories on a good day - all they know is that I am FAT, and therefore an out-of-control JABBA THE HUT clone who deserves to be publicly humiliated.

My daughter came home one day and said she was invited over to a friend's house, but was warned that they won't have junk food at home, like we OBVIOUSLY have at our home. Which made me laugh...prior to surgery, I was hypertensive type 2 diabetic, I had to monitor my diet very closely. We had a bag of chips that sat on top of the fridge until they turned stale.

I should mention that even when you do get surgery and you do start losing weight, there's the inevitable comments about how you took the "easy way out", to further invalidate your efforts at health.

Bottom line: haters gonna hate, whether they be kids or adults. If you knew how little people thought of you, you'd think little of them too.

We here are very proud of you for soldiering on and doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. Don't let ignorant comments lodge in your brain :D

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This makes me so sad. People, children and adults can be so cruel. I am a teacher (Pre-K) so I know all too well what kids innocently, and not-so-innocently say.

I hope this can make you feel better. I have an adopted brother who is 9 years old. His name is Humoody and he is from Iraq. He was shot in the face with a shot gun he was two years old and his face is disfigured, he is completely blind and missing an eye. The one he does have is covered by a fake eye cap that looks real. He has been through hell as far as being teased and made fun of, having adult strangers come up to my parents (IN FRONT OF HIM) and say "what's wrong with your kid's face??" Too bad he is blind, not deaf, and he happens to be extremely intelligent. He is at the top of his class in math and reading and has a personality and sense of humor matched by few. I only thank god that he can't see people's rude stares at him.

So just remember, it's not all bad. You could have been disfigured or blinded. You are on your way to a healthier, thinner you. People that give you crap or say rude things have their own insecurity issues. People that are secure don't make comments to their children or others about some families "must eat fried food." You have to feel sorry for their kids because they are learning from example. Your kids will have compassion and character for dealing with this. I used to get yelled at: "Sueeeyy! Suueey!" when I was in elementary school. It was tough, but I'm better for it. :)

Check out these links if you like, they could give you a new perspective on being made fun of, etc...

http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/archive/?date=20060711&slug=muhammed11m

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003714541_iraqboy20m.html

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003316900_iraqboy22m.html

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003544835_iraqboy28m.html

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003989172_iraqboy02m.html

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008123196_hamoody19m.html

Humoody is my little brother and he is now 9 and in the 3rd grade and thriving! He tells me he doesn't understand why I am having surgery because I have a great personality. If only we could all love like a blind child! <3 He sees what really matters.

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Thanks for all of the comments everyone. I know I'm not the only one being made fun of but it really hurts when my kids are hearing it.

BeanieandRosie'smom thanks for that. Your poor brother was terribly disfigured. I feel so sad for him. I hope it wasn't intentional that someone would do that to a 2 year old.

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You can always just tell them to shut up. And that they are rude.

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I'm so sorry that happened. I have had **** like this happen to me...I mean most of us have ... :( once in a Grocery store this like 2 or 3 year old was telling his mom " her butt is so big" and he said it like 3 times. And I was also pregnant so I just felt like ****. All night and still to this day when I think about it, I wish I would have said something to him like " its not nice to say that, you hurt my feelings " because obviously his Mom didn't give a **** about teaching him any manners! I can't wait for the surgery to be over and done, either!

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Understand...no one but fat people or previously fat people (me) know what it is to hold onto this weight. We know it is not a choice to be fat. Most all of us have tried every on line diet, fad and support group without long term results.

Be encouraged that you will be the one who can be a cheerleader to someone else in the future who needs to lose weight. Forgive those who you can never educate on the battles we face.

I love my sleeve and have no regrets.

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I am so sorry that happened to you. I have those same fears. We can do this. Don't worry about ignorant people. They don't know any better.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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