My Story And Struggles

[Lea Anne 17]

Hello

I had my surgery on April 26 and I've lost 44 pounds. Overall, I feel pretty good. I have occassional nausea and diarrhea which is so annoying because my doctor said I shouldn't take any Immodium and it makes going to work really tricky! Has anyone else had this problem?

I had a very awful first 36 hours and even said I wished that I hadn't done this. I was in so much pain, very nauseated and couldn't breath well. I was miserable but felt some relief after my drain was removed. Part of the problem in the hospital was that the surgeon, his team and some of the nurses were great. The CNAs, however, were less than satisfactory. I received very little assistance when trying to get out of bed and get to the bathroom. Maybe they were trying to make me do it on my own, but I felt very unsteady and worried that I would pass out or fall. But, I never did and I'm still alive and kicking.

I feel good about the weight loss, but I'm mourning the loss of food. I've read other people's posts and they identify food as a friend and something that has always been there for them. I can totally relate to that because food has been my coping mechanism since I was 5 years old. At the support groups that I attended pre-surgery, people said that they weren't hungry so being around food wasn't a problem. I haven't been that lucky. I have had a couple of crying fits and I knew that this was going to be an emotional journey but I didn't think that I'd cry so easily. Thank goodness that I have an amazing support system, including a fantastic therapist to help me through the tough times. Now I can turn to this group, too. I'm so grateful to have found this place!

[massindex 346]

food addiction is the most difficult thing we have to recover from. You still need food so it makes it all the more difficult. The therapist will help you through this. You will be able to enjoy food again but eventually it won't matter as much and you'll be able to focus on the social aspects of friends and relationships more than the food. We've all been there :-)