Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Super Depressed :(



Recommended Posts

If I didn't have 6 children who need me day and night, I wouldn't be able to drag my big butt out of bed. I was fully ready to head on down to MX and self pay- and as most of you probably know, stuff happened and I wasn't able to pay for it anymore. Now I'm going the insurance route, and it's just going to take so long. I know, 6 months isn't the end of hte world, but it sure feels like it when I was going to have surgery june 4th and now I have to wait until around Cmas time. I'm really fighting with my depression. I'm supre cranky at the thought of having to be this big for 6 more months. I suppose I'll be losing a little bit, but I'm not trying super hard at this supervised diet thing- I've never stuck to a diet more than 4 mos because I just cave and eat a ton of food and all the wrong foods of course. I don't want to moan and whine, I dont want to feel sorry for myself, but I do. and Honestly, this surgery is about all i can think about, day and night. I think about it to fall asleep even. you could say I'm hyper focusing. I don't want to screw the next 6 mos up. I dont even go to my pcp untl this Friday- the shrink next Monday. I NEED this weight off, and asap. As far back as I can remember, I have felt bad about myself. It's hard not to when you can't find cute clothes for yourself, and when you find halfway inexpensive mens tshirts, you have to pay 3.00 more because your body requiresmore fabric than smaller people. I will have to go through another entier summer being fat.

I saw the light at the end of hte tunnel, and as I've said before, tha light is so tiny now. I have thought of 101 ways I could go about getting htis surgery sooner, and i just keep hitting dead ends.

i just want to eat, sleep, and do days without a shower.

I just thought maybe you guys would understand. :(

sorry if this is hard to understand, kids need me so i'm typing super fast, and probably not thining everything all the way through. i did switch to lamictal from effexor and hopefully that will help. i just dont have anything nice to wear, and really- i watn to refuse to purchase anything to cover this fat ugly body. :/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so sorry you are feeing this way Amy. Please, dont be so hard on yourself, it will happen and you will succeed, just give it time. I know how you feel, I just hated looking at myself and even getting dressed too, everything looked like a tent to me! Just keep your head up, maybe you can go talk to someone thru your insurance? Your kids need you to be strong and always remember YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!! Please keep us posted on your journey and remember...it will happen! Hugs to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do understand, because I am just finishing up with my 6 months of wait time. It will go much faster than it seems right now. (of course that is easier for me to say since I just go my approval). The six months is a really good time to plan and get prepared. I know you can do this!! Just hang in there. You might go ahead and contact the surgeon you think you will be using. You might be able to do your six months through them, and they can provide information to make sure you are successful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I felt the same way you were feeling. I went through the six month diet and was just yearning for it to be over. Well, it finally ended and went faster than I thought. Keep you head up and just know that YOU WILL LOSE THE WEIGHT. I felt awful for a long time too and hated buying clothing for myself too. There were days where I just wanted to stay in bed and not shower at all. But, good luck to you and keep up your spirits.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am sorry that you are feeling bad about yourself. I know how you feel which I am sure that most of us do. You need to keep you chin up. I thought that the 6 months seemed like an eternity. I was ready to get this surgery and be on with my life. I have just ended my 6 month time frame and headed for surgery tomorrow. The 6 months will go by faster than you think. I hope you start to feel better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally get it, I had to do my 6 month diet TWICE. I said something during one of my visits, along the lines that I was not able to exercise 5 days but I was able to walk, I also said that I had eaten out like 2 times. My insurance denied me because of that. I was really pissed. So the second time I said everything that I felt my insurance wanted to hear. It does go by fast. I wish you the best of luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, I thought I replied to this!! Thank you all do much for reaching out. I'm actually kindof embarrassed that I posted all this woe is me stuff.

I'm off the pitty pot now and have decided to go ahead and start eating healthy and get more active. Noone says I can't lose weight but me and I have decided not to believe that lie. It will take hard work and commitment but I'm not waiting. The whole point was to change my ways right? What better time to start than now?

Im really happy to hear over and over that the 6 mos will fly. I'm sure it will. In a year I'll be sitting back wondering what in the world I was whining about. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey we can go through it together, I'm just beginning my 6mths, for the second time, now I'm ready and will just take one day at a time. Focusing on my six months down the line makes me to anxious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh that would be awesome!! Can you text? My number is 660-998-2823

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Boy, when I read your post I thought it was me writing. I just started my 6 month journey and wish it was over. I don't understand why they make someone who has been overweight all their lives go through 6 more months of it. If I didn't have to go to work everyday I would probubly just stay in bed. Depression is setting in. I didn,t know if you showed you ate the wrong way that the insurance would deny you the surgery. I'm in trouble because I'm having a hard time this week. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Hopefully the next 5 months will fly by.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My insurance made me wait 12 months!!!!! I thought a year was going to take forever to go by. But the day finally came and now i have a date of 6/14. 3 1/2 weeks to go!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I didn't have 6 children who need me day and night, I wouldn't be able to drag my big butt out of bed. I was fully ready to head on down to MX and self pay- and as most of you probably know, stuff happened and I wasn't able to pay for it anymore. Now I'm going the insurance route, and it's just going to take so long. I know, 6 months isn't the end of hte world, but it sure feels like it when I was going to have surgery june 4th and now I have to wait until around Cmas time. I'm really fighting with my depression. I'm supre cranky at the thought of having to be this big for 6 more months. I suppose I'll be losing a little bit, but I'm not trying super hard at this supervised diet thing- I've never stuck to a diet more than 4 mos because I just cave and eat a ton of food and all the wrong foods of course. I don't want to moan and whine, I dont want to feel sorry for myself, but I do. and Honestly, this surgery is about all i can think about, day and night. I think about it to fall asleep even. you could say I'm hyper focusing. I don't want to screw the next 6 mos up. I dont even go to my pcp untl this Friday- the shrink next Monday. I NEED this weight off, and asap. As far back as I can remember, I have felt bad about myself. It's hard not to when you can't find cute clothes for yourself, and when you find halfway inexpensive mens tshirts, you have to pay 3.00 more because your body requiresmore fabric than smaller people. I will have to go through another entier summer being fat.

I saw the light at the end of hte tunnel, and as I've said before, tha light is so tiny now. I have thought of 101 ways I could go about getting htis surgery sooner, and i just keep hitting dead ends.

i just want to eat, sleep, and do days without a shower.

I just thought maybe you guys would understand. :(

sorry if this is hard to understand, kids need me so i'm typing super fast, and probably not thining everything all the way through. i did switch to lamictal from effexor and hopefully that will help. i just dont have anything nice to wear, and really- i watn to refuse to purchase anything to cover this fat ugly body. :/

Going off of effexor causes HARD CORE depression....my husband can't even bare to be around me if I miss 3 days. Those 2 meds do completely differwnt things - effexor is an anti-depressant & anti-anxiety med, whereas lamictal is a mood stabilizer. I take both, because if you suffer from depression you should be on both. Talk tp your Dr asap!! This is likely the cause of your depression & hyper-focus. Once you're more emotionally balanced I think you'll find that 6 mos of waiting to have surgery for free (more or less) isn't that bad. It took me almost 5 YEARS to get my insurance company onboard but it's done now & I am a true believer in all things happening for a reason.....maybe this is God intervening to prevent something catastrophic on your June date. One just never knows! Try to stay positive & keep your eye on the prize. Six mos FLIES by. And get your meds fixed!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@amytug:

I also am taking Lamictal and Welbutrin.

I am not stressing anymore about being approved. I had all my money saved for the surgery, then Friday, was blessed with a $700 car repair bill.

God will make a way and provide for our needs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh that stinks!!!

How far in are you, into the 6 mos?

I stopped trying to wean and dm now on both. It works. I'm not crying daily now.

Thx to all g

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×