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I was a month post-op as of yesterday and today I had to see my husband off to Afghanistan. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately trying to manage everything that goes along with my new sleeve, and now I feel just completely defeated. I'm hoping things will get better as I settle into my new routines, I just don't feel like there is anyone in my life to discuss this with that would understand. Is there anybody who has gone through a similar situation?

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Wow. You've got a lot to handle. I can help with the sleeve questions but the deployment and all that entails is out of my league. Maybe someone else?

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I know how you feel. 2 weeks after my surgery, my husband left for a month for wlc. Once he gets back, he will be back for a few weeks and will have to leave again for a few more months for Bnoc and then he deploys to Afghanistan. You are not alone. I'm here if you ever need a shoulder. I can completely relate to what you are going through.

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Ambly, I am also at Fort Bliss

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my hubby was in the Army and got deployed when our son was 3 weeks old. I felt soooo horrible! I must have looked a sight, cause I was crying so much that snot was running down my face. I was so thankful that they waited to deploy him until after I had the baby....which they didnt have to do, they were going to deploy him when I was 8 months pregnant but our son was supposed to be downs and so the Chaplin stepped in and got his deployment delayed. thank god our son was not downs, and his deployment seemed like forever at the time, but then it was over before I knew it......wow that was over 12 years ago now! he has been out for 11 years now, thank goodness! military family was wonderful to us, but you are constantly affraid that they are going to send them out :(

I am so sorry that he had to go....make sure to keep that military family close to help you get through this time! Good luck!!! dont forget that there is a ton of support on here for you too! :)

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There's nothing like having the support of someone who is in a similar situation to help us deal with our own situations. :) My first husband was in the Air Force and was sent to Iraq twice. I doubt I'd have coped without the other wives from his unit. I'm still friends with several of those ladies and I count their families as my family.

One great thing about being sleeved is that you'll have a lovely surprise waiting for hubby when he returns from deployment, which will make the reunion that much sweeter. :)

Good luck!! And, thank your husband for his service, please!

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I know right now you're feeling a lil down. Right after surgery most of us are for different situations. I posted right after my surgery how down I was phisically and emotionally and a lotttt of people told me that it gets better and now 3 weeks out I feel like new. Remember your body and soon your mind are going through a huge change they are battling inside, your body will heal if you look back been obese wasn't easy right. But now you know that as hard as it is it will get better. Besides when your husband comes back a new you (happier and sexier) will be ready to see him and continue a path that will be better for the both of you.

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Thank you all for the kind words and support. Your posts have made me smile for the first time since he left :) It actually gives me a lot of hope and makes me feel much better knowing that there are people out there who have gone through very similar situations and made it out just fine. What a great group of people that gather here.

In the past when my husband has been gone I've turned to food and isolation/depression. I really don't want it to come to that this time after the surgery I have gone through to make myself healthier. I guess I just have to take it day by day and try not to fall into that cycle again.

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Yes, one day at a time is what can help keep u sane. My hubby was deployed (navy) for 7 months when we'd only been married for 3 months. Then there were several other short and long trips out to sea after that as well. He also had many trips away for special ops that weren't sea related. It was hard and I was lonely, even with support from my military friends. I found thst working out helped with my stress and the feelings of depression and the unknown when he was gone to the persian gulf in desert storm. Find something to keep yourself busy and maybe journal your feelings. I will keep you in my prayers. Leah

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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