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Your Minds Eye...plays Tricks



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Hello Sleevers,

I've been sleeved now for one year, I hit my goal weight six months after surgery. Here's my issue when I was wearing 18/22 I would look at the size 4/ 6 in the department store and say wow that's really tiny. Now that I wear a size 4/6 I look at my jeans and say wow these look pretty big to me, it's like in my mind if I'm wearing it...it's got to be huge or large not small or tiny. My therapist says this is normal my mind is still processing the new me and in time I will see what every one else sees. When I see individuals that I've not seen in a long time they say things like "Don't lose any more weight" or "Wow your so tiny" I've attached a picture of me in a pair of new jeans, this is my screen saver on my cellphone, my therapist believes this will help me train my mind to see the true me.

My question, have any other sleevers had this issue? and how are you dealing with it?

Take Care

post-1763-13813658386454_thumb.jpg

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I'm only six weeks out, but I expect to go through the same thing. I've already gone from a 22/24 to solid 18, even have a pair of 16 that fit. But because we're going from winter to spring, I refuse to buy new clothes until I really need to. So I'm still wearing my 20 jeans and 1-2X tops and jackets. I just don't want to buy a new jacket for a few weeks. I've lost over 10 inches from arms, waist, hips, legs, etc. - so the weight loss is there. But I still see the same fat me when I look in the mirror or see myself naked. This weekend, I cleaned out my closets. I kept clothes from 8-10 years ago when I was "normal" at size 4/6. I held them up and couldn't believe I ever fit in them, nor that I ever will again. I even broke into tears at how much damage I've done to my body, and I just didn't see it. I kept asking my husband, "Do you really remember me that size?!?" There is a strange association that the memories of wearing those clothes was a different person and somehow I switched bodies.

You know how your body feels when you get off a treadmill, go skating, etc. and you stop -- feels like the ground should still be moving. And that's only after 20-30 minutes. I see it as the same thing. We're wearing fat suits for years, or even decades. Our minds need some time to catch up, know you're on solid ground again. I don't ever want to forget how 275, 250, 200, etc. pounds feels on my joints and my bones, so that I will always appreciate where I (eventually!) end up.

I think it will take a while, maybe even years after I reach goal before I feel stable again...

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I take my jeans out of the dryer and laugh--can't believe they will actually go on my body, and they do.... so very strange!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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