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15 Months Post-Op - Frustrated



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Do not get me wrong, the Sleeve was the best decision I have made in my life to get healthy, but who would have known under all that charm and wit, was a beautiful rose?! I started at 222 size 18/20 and am now at 129 size 4. I started a new job and never knew the possibilities outside of my knowledge now that I have the "exterior" looks to go along with it.

I have always had a lot of friends who wanted to be around me for my personality, but the type of attention I am getting now is very different and hard to digest. It is no wonder you read that such a high percentage of men and women who have surgery and are successful end up divorced. I know this probably sounds crazy, but I feel sometimes like I traded in one set of problems for another! Anyone else out there have these issues? I am considered the "hot" chic in the department and other women are starting to dress like me, etc. It is soooo strange! People who have not been through this just don't understand that when I look in the mirror I see the person I was for 39 years, not this new exterior.... so - FRUSTRATED!

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I SO know how you feel! (I am NOT considered the "Hot" chick in our office!) but my looks have changed so significantly! It is so strange to me to look in the mirror and see someone different! And my hubbie and I are having a few problems since the surgery! (Although we are working hard to try and resolve these differences!) It's just SO strange! And it is something that I sometimes have problems adjusting to!

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Thank you for being honest without judging me! My husband and I too are working very hard on the adjustment. I took a job with a woman as my boss to ease his mind, but it doesn't do much good. I really don't ask for it, I just have a personality that has ALWAYS attracted men to just being my friend and was always "one of the guys". Now it has a whole new twist and I can't come to terms with it.

I started telling them that the package is very pretty all wrapped up with a big beautiful bow, but once you open the box, you may not like what you get!

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I too have always been just one of the guys. You have to be true and honorable to yourself. It can be an odd adjustment to the attention, but if its too much for you or it isn't the correct attention a man should be paying to a married woman, you need to speak up. Please don't disrespect your husband or yourself by keeping silent about it.

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Yes went to PBR at theHouston Livestock and Rodeo and went to the bbq cook off...I got us into one private tent after another!

Hubby insists he didn't mind but he never left my side either! lol.

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I definitely went through a period where I was extremely resentful of male attention after losing weight. I kept asking myself where they all were when I was 200+.

ETA: but hands down the weirdest experience to date for me was having an overweight coworker - who never knew me before my weight loss - make some comment about how people like me are "so lucky - you can eat whatever you want and you stay tiny"! I wanted to tell her she doesn't know HALF of it, but felt that there was really no need for her to know about my surgery.

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Remember guys eyes are attached to there little head. You women know this. So you can go from just one of the guys, to being attractive to us very easy. Why do women spend so much time getting dressed up to go outside? How did Playboy get famous? The articles?

So when you change the package wrapping, the guys will notice.

Just stating a fact of life.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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