I Can't Believe I'm Still Fat.

[swizzly 901]

I've lost 90lb too, but it's taken 11 months and three weeks. LOL. I *know* the head **** you're talking about crosswind, I've lived there most of my life since about age 15. But I will. not. go there ever again. Won't. Will not. No how. I don't know what to tell you in terms of exiting that head space, but I am just saying it's possible to get out of that space, but you have to be willing to let go of punishing yourself for being fat, with being in a hurry to get 'somewhere' (where?) and being afraid of getting there.

Six months from now, you'll be a smaller size and you'll weigh less unless you invest serious effort into trying not to. Will you be happier then? If not, why? If so, why can't you cut to the chase and get happy now? Yeah, I'm annoying and believe it's a choice. I do positive self-talk all the GD time, and I train myself to think in ways that I *want* to think. Give it a try. Anyhow, to me it's obvious you're smart enough to figure this out, so what do you think? What do YOU think? Tell us what the problem is. Let's talk about the problem. Because I'm pretty sure it's only tangentially related to weight per se. I could be wrong, though -- it's not like it's unprecedented.

Always happy to read your posts, nice to 'see' you again.

ETA: Meant to say, your post title is BS, dude. You're so NOT fat. STOP THAT. Your subconscious doesn't know from jokes...it just believes what you say...

[Suzannesh 376]

I am happy with how far I've come and obviously am glad I am here instead of obese. However, I am constantly struggling to feel proud of accomplishing large weight loss because in my head I should have never been that large to begin with. So the shame of it often continues to overshadow my joy. Like when someone compliments me...I have a hard time just accepting it graciously. Like, why should I be complimented on "looking like a weight I should have already been?" It causes me anxiety to the point that I need to keep setting larger fitness goals (races, half marathons), so that I can feel proud of myself on this journey in some way, not just because I lost weight that I never should have been there in the first place. It's such a head game.

Hi,

I had a hard time too when people would comment. I learned I didn't need to say anymore than "thank you." Just leave it at that. As time goes on it will get a whole lot easier. I remember the first time some one called me skinny. I thought "who me" or "yes" she is talking about me. That was a real shock to be called skinny.

Hang in there you are right it truly is a head game because we don't see ourself as thin or as we have lost a lot of weight. It takes time to process all of this. I used to be shocked when I walked past a mirror, not I am used to how I look and it has been 3 1/2 years since I had WLS.

Hugs,

Suzanne