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Why Do People Not Get Excited!



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Is it just me or have you all noticed that when people find out about you getting the sleeve they dont always have the reaction you would have liked?

I am not getting any dissapointments but for me when i think about the sleeve i think of it like im turning 21 again, or im pregnant, or getting married! Like it is a supper exciting day and then i go and tell someone and their response is like " that's great" with a mellow tone..

I know i am looking too much into this but i just kind of felt like they should have that super excited tone like i do.. This is in no way a complaint but just a observation. And it just makes me laugh inside on how excited i am for it.... :purplebananna:

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People are funny about such things, and they all have their own issues with food and weight. Maybe some have heard of negative experiences, are jealous or just simply don't like change (theirs OR yours) This is why I didn't tell many people before my surgery.......I just didn't want the observations and judgements, however well meaning they thought they were being. Remember you can't change others, just yourself..........be excited, your life is about to change drastically for the better. And keep posting....we will all be excited for you!!

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It's a common complaint. Look it up People do not understand the surgery. Keep it to yourself until you lose weight & you are asked about your weight loss.

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I have only had one person be as excited for me as I am for myself....my family are not supportive at all so I don't even talk about it with them. It's sad that others enjoy the misery of their loved ones but it is true. I am ecstatic about my decision so my Outlook now is screw everyone who isn't happy for me...I'm gonna rock this!

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Forget about telling anyone else (but the people here) until the pounds really start to melt away. Then when they ask, you can tell them if you want. We are evangelists and we now own our lives.

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brandimare you are right on! I want to be happy for me, so I am. I share my surgery info with everyone in hopes of advocating for a healthier new life. I have a new life. I am so happy with my sleeve. I wish I would have done it 10 years ago. All that wasted time. I was asking my PCP for it. Now I have it and I'm Rockin!

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I have actually had a pretty good response from most people. I've had some get really excited for me. My family did not have that reaction though.

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I posted my decision on my Facebook page a month before my date; I got nothing but positive response (at least to my face) - During the past month many have send messages asking how I was doing! so the other day I posted a simple post "My jeans are too big" I got 62 likes and 25 messages - I told people I did this for my health not to be skinny; I keep positive so my family of friends does also! .

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When I started talking about having WLS, and looking into options the only two people I told I was my mom, and my best friend who happens to be my cousin. They both support me greatly! My cousin had WLS about a year ago and has lost over 100lbs, she says that it's the best "grown up" decision she has ever made! My mom worries that if something isn't done, I may not make it past 40 years old, and I will suffer physically due to my weight, so wants the best for me, and she wants to see me healthy, and happy! I have since told the rest of my family and a good friend who all stand behind me and support me, and hopes and prays I will be able to be approved for the surgery! I have had an abundance of support!

However, I am not telling someone who I have considered my very best friend for the last five years, because I KNOW that really he doesn't care. He won't support me, and he won't be unsupportive, just uncaring (if it doesn't effect him personally he really doesn't care). So I am not telling him at all, even when the weight starts coming off!

I know it really hurts and is bothersome when you are doing something that's going to benefit you, and make you more healthy, and give you life! You are happy, and you want others to feel the same way, and when you tell them and they don't react the same way you feel, it just hurts! That's why it's great that there are sites like this, where you can get support, and positive feed back from people who understand, and KNOW what we are going through! :)

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I guess I can understand why some people give you an "oh, ok, sure, that's nice" reaction, without any enthusiasm. Everyone has their own life, their own concerns, their own problems, etc., etc., etc. BUT what I don't understand is why some people actually try to talk you out of having the WLS! I mean especially thin people, who couldn't POSSIBLY know what it is like to struggle with weight issues your entire life!

I initially didn't tell anyone at work about the surgery I was planning on having. Wanted to keep it private. Then the one individual who I trusted to keep it quiet told EVERYONE! I had many people who came and asked me "why?". "Like---DUH--- why would you think? I weight almost 260 pounds, it's not healthy, it's not attractive, its killing me! But I had one individual who came to me and spend hours trying to talk me out of the surgery. She wasn't even a close friend, and really I don't know why she even thought she should have any input into my private life! She out and out told me she was making it her "mission in life" to talk me out of the surgery!

I just can't figure out some people!

I have to echo Isrealjustice's thoughts above, Thank goodness for this site! where the positive energy is so abundant!

Kathy D (alias Helen the Cat)

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Is it just me or have you all noticed that when people find out about you getting the sleeve they dont always have the reaction you would have liked?

I am not getting any dissapointments but for me when i think about the sleeve i think of it like im turning 21 again, or im pregnant, or getting married! Like it is a supper exciting day and then i go and tell someone and their response is like " that's great" with a mellow tone..

I know i am looking too much into this but i just kind of felt like they should have that super excited tone like i do.. This is in no way a complaint but just a observation. And it just makes me laugh inside on how excited i am for it.... :purplebananna:

They look at you and smile and say "that's great" with a mellow tone...yes. But what they're thinking is... "ARE YOU FREAKING INSAAAAANE???" That's what I used to think about people getting the bypass. I think I still do, but not quite as much. That's what's good about this forum. We're all super excited for each other!

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Keep positive & don't worry about anyone's else's opinion. Before I had my surgery, I had some negative responses (mostly from people who were worried about the danger of surgery), so people just didn't care, and some were supportive. It is the same thing after you lose the weight. Some people are excited to see how much healthier & smaller you are, some just don't care, & some are crazy-jealous & hate your for being smaller than them. In the end, you have to worry about yourself & how you are feeling. Know that everyone here supports you!

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hi fellow sleevers,

as i was getting closer to getting a DOS, i told my mom & adult daughter. They were so very excited for me. i was so happy.

then this past thanksgiving i told my 4 siblings w/their spouses - we're all out of towners. My older sister in law and brother response were kindof like - oh, yeah, thats nice.

the rest of my siblings were "happy" for me, but not exstatic, but they were supportive.my youngest sister (48) was so excited. she really surprised me. she wanted to talk so much about it, asking me ? about the WLS. It was so exciting - and she still talks about it to me frequently. she really made me feel good. I did tell my aunt eventually and she was onboard too.

for the most part i think many people are uneducated about WLS - many do think its that "quick fix" you leave work friday night, and you return to work monday morning 100 lbs. lighter. I think thats why so many people think you are taking the "easy way out".

we all know having WLS is not easy.

did i answer the question, i forgeot now!.

kathy

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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