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Can We Get Back To Support And Stop Attacking Each Other Please?



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BTW, I checked her topic and she is much better today, and said THANK YOU to all those that responded to her topic. We all respond to situations differantley but we should definatley be encouraging and supportive.

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I am writing tonight because I need to vent a bit about some things i have recently seen and experienced on this forum that seems to be a new trend. I have been on this support forum for the past 5 months and it was the best thing to happen to me after my vsg. Lately I have been attacked and have witnessed people getting attacked on this page and it makes me honestly not want to come on here and post anything at all. I think we are all here for the same reason, to exchange information, to learn more and to SUPPORT each other, not knock each other down and tear each other apart. Can we please get back to what this forum is about because I loved it as it was before....when we helped each other, supported each other and gave each other props.

Hello italianlady,

I'm very sorry this has happened to you. I haven't seen any of these posts you're talking about. However, in the future you can always report the post to the Admin/Moderator staff. We always try to address any issues right away. The report post button can be found on the very bottom of each individual post. It says "Report" and is on the left side of the "Blog This" link.

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Hello italianlady,

I'm very sorry this has happened to you. I haven't seen any of these posts you're talking about. However, in the future you can always report the post to the Admin/Moderator staff. We always try to address any issues right away. The report post button can be found on the very bottom of each individual post. It says "Report" and is on the left side of the "Blog This" link.

it's not a big deal, it's just a reminder that we need to be supportive and kind:)

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ItalianLady,

Sensitive is good. I wish my son's first grade teacher was more sensitive. It means you care genuinely.

But we also must be honest and sometime it may mean brutal honesty. In my research pre-op I went to a local seminar and the question was asked about mortality rates with the sleeve. The surgeon shared a story of a patient (not hers) who died two weeks after surgery. It seems this man wanted a steak so bad, he induldged and long story short, he died.

This is not a game we are playing here and I think some people come into this with the same attitude of getting a tooth extracted. They think it shouldn't "be that hard". Well ... it is for some ... for lots. And they need to know that as well as those researching it.

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.....although NOONE has OFFICIALLY welcomed me to the looser's bench...Cry.gif Am I going to post a tpoic saying noone cares and noone should come to this site because its unsupportive..ABSOLUTLEY NOT! Everyone is here like a family and sometimes family does get on each other's nerves...but it's all in LOVE for each other.

So sorry!! I am hereby officially WELCOMING YOU to the LOSERS BENCH!! I've kept it warm for ya. ;)

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LOL!! Thanks LMD!! It's about time!! I've been standing around for 11 days now! JK!! biggrin.gif

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amen.gif & I'm sorry to hear you were attacked.

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Leslie, I'm sorry that I missed sliding over for you on the loser's bench!!! I really do try to welcome everyone to the bench!

Italianlady, I read the thread you posted about and I really think that sometimes we don't need to be all sugar and sweetness. However, I try to not be actively mean. There's one thread that is giving me heartburn, but I haven't posted on it because the subject is SO hard for me. (Chewing and Spitting) I have food issues that I'm working on with a therapist and I cringe every time I read one of those posts. For some reason I keep thinking that it's a step in the wrong direction after being sleeved, but I can't find any hard evidence about that. I actually have it as one of my things to talk to my therapist about next week.

I certainly hope you didn't feel that I was attacking Rosy on that thread, though. I didn't see anything that was said with any malice on there, but maybe I'm a pollyanna when I'm reading it. I "assume" everyone on this board is nice, so I maybe only see people trying to help. I've definitely been on some boards for other subjects that were not so nice.

Anyway, I'm sorry that you felt attacked, or if the OP felt attacked.

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Who? What? Where? OMGOSH What did I miss??? I'm here for you my friend smile.png

If I don't have anything positive or nice to say I usually don't comment. Just me. I guess that's why you find me mostly in success stories, I love to cheer people on and try to stay as positive as possible. Boooooo for negative energy.

Sometimes I will see a post that says OMG I passed out, I have severe pain and instead of adding my sarcastic comment of ER UM DON'T YA THINK YOU SHOULD CALL A DOCTOR HELLLLLER?????? I just pray they do and move on...no need to be sarcastic or snotty.

Anyhooooo, I agree with diva, rude posts can always be reported.

Have a great weekend girlie smile.png...hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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group hug?.........

Awwww love this...YES!!!!!!

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our "little family"

....is over 18,000 strong, I think we are pretty nice considering there are so many of us! I don't want to see the site go the way of some others, but all in all, its the best site out there. Can you imagine having a classroom with that many and no one smarts off or says something nasty?biggrin.png... it only takes one......

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I think if you have been on this board long enough etiher lurking or responding and asking you see the trend of the ones that a) really do care and reply honestly or B) are ones that say/write stuff to get a reaction. I think as stated before we all just need to remember we all have different starting points, surgeons and lifestyles and NO ONE is going to be exactly alike in their journey at each point. BUT having said that- We need to be respectful of everyones feelings and perhaps if it is a little "mean girl ish" maybe send a personal message instead.

As a wise man once said... "cant we just all get along?"...

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I totally like the person who steps out of the box and reality checks my s..... I think that we are all individuals and when we post on a website, we are looking for honest feedback and support. This is an awesome place to find out what others are experiencing and to gather ways to avoid some pitfalls. I like what Pdxman posts. He's right to the point. When I'm with my clients, I intentually go for the core. I don't waste any time at all. I really like all the conversation here. It is down to earth.. Everyone is doing the best they can and have made a choice to take care of ourselves.

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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