Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Overlooked -



Recommended Posts

I work with a bunch of men - as the only woman salesperson in an auto dealership, I see it all. The other day I wrote this while thinking about some of the comments and reactions we get when a "thin" girl comes in.

Overlooked

Inside I look the same

I feel the same

I smile the same

As the other women

the women the men notice

the women men talk about.

Its funny how

women of slighter build

get more attention

than women of substance.

Is the only picture men see

the one painted by flesh?

How sad

how lonely it must be

to always overlook

the beauty of character.

~~Cindy W.

06-17-2006

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Loved that poem. It's soo true.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I;ve lived that and felt that my whole life - i hope you have many or even 1 person in your life that appreciates your true beauty. I'm fortunate my sweetie has loved me the same no matter what my size. thanks for sharing that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I;ve lived that and felt that my whole life - i hope you have many or even 1 person in your life that appreciates your true beauty. I'm fortunate my sweetie has loved me the same no matter what my size. thanks for sharing that!

Yes - My husband loves me - regardless of my size and for that I'm very grateful.

It just frustrates me that some people literally 'overlook' people who are heavy. I think the words in this latest creation really say EXACTLY what I feel....

Since I've decided on the lap band -- I've noticed I have different feelings toward all builds right now - I appreciate the women with thin, beautiful, healthy bods and I feel connected with women who have a larger build too - like me! I guess its like when you think you might be pregnant, you start seeing pregnant woman everywhere....:confused:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel the need to defend the male species and point out that women...are just as guilty.

Brad Pitt......or Larry the Cable Guy?

Which makes you swoon?

:heh: :confused:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you - it goes both ways. doesn't even have to be the opposite sex, woman treat women poorly or pre-judge all the time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok i guess i agree too BUT i can relate over 30 harsh, mean, cruel things men have said to me since i was pre teen and i honestly have NEVER said or heard any of my friends say anything about a guy's size - yeah maybe we wouldn't swoon over the cable guy (i don't know who that is tho) but we wouldn't call him thunder thighs, cute face but ugly body, shamoo, and Ill just stop there cuz i'm sure it happens both ways!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I work with a bunch of men - as the only woman salesperson in an auto dealership, I see it all. The other day I wrote this while thinking about some of the comments and reactions we get when a "thin" girl comes in.

I know your world. I have sold new cars for 2 different dealerships during my working years....now a SAHM. BTW, I loved the poem and it's so true. I sold Cadillac & Olds in FL and then I sold Chevy & Hyundai in OH. I LOVED it and wasn't a bit intimidated by the guys. I loved showing them up. I had only been at the dealership in OH for 2 wks and was awarded the Highest Commission of the week. You should have seen those guys. It was great. I love the auto world, but it takes so much time from your personal life. If it wasn't for that aspect, I would be doing it now, it's such a rush.

Most men at dealerships are pigs with a few sweeties thrown into the mix. So how many guys do you work with? How long have you been selling? You go girl and show them your stuff......sell your panties off and get those HUGE commissions!!! :dance:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In the 70's, I was a newly divorced mom of twin sons. I decided to sell Motor Homes, and was the only licensed salesWOman in the State of California. I made a ton of money, and all those old guys drinking their coffee and smoking their cigarettes - HATED my aggresive attitude about sales. They also hated my name on the board for Salesperson of the Month - for a long time. I was heavy, but it never got in my way. We big gals usually have some personality, and that always throws people off.

Name calling is a part of our society for EVERYTHING. Tall, short, fat, thin, big nose, glasses, big ears, teeth, gay, straight, white, black, mexican, muslim, hair, no hair, it's all fair game. People are insecure. The only way for some people to deal with all that crap is to make fun of it, but in the process - it's painful for those who get the attention. Sad really, and it starts in Kindegarten.

Women can actually do almost everything men can, we can compete in the work force that was normally male controlled. Most men don't like it, unless the package is picture perfect - with big boobs and long legs.

Life, is hard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love the title to this thread. Overlooked. It's so sad because I'm me inside, even though the outside was so horrid for me to see, I wanted to be overlooked. In the shadows. Unnoticed. It's a terrible place to be, and very lonely. It was for me. I'm slowly getting back to me. It really is a transition. Thanks for that Cindy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok i guess i agree too BUT i can relate over 30 harsh, mean, cruel things men have said to me since i was pre teen and i honestly have NEVER said or heard any of my friends say anything about a guy's size - yeah maybe we wouldn't swoon over the cable guy (i don't know who that is tho) but we wouldn't call him thunder thighs, cute face but ugly body, shamoo, and Ill just stop there cuz i'm sure it happens both ways!

Gotta disagree here. Have INDEED heard women comment on men in this way.

It is a two way street, and womnen can be just as cruel as men. Sometimes more so, as they are very critical of each other.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I find that men will blurt things out but women will stare you up and down, whisper to each other and give you nasty looks. I honestly don't know which is worse since I've been judged by both sides. Either way, it hurts. People will never learn until they have walked in your shoes......... to bad.

btw, I worked in a cadillac dealership for 5 years, all men, 3 women...... never cussed so much in my life ROFL !

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So how many guys do you work with? How long have you been selling? :dance:

I work with a lot of men overall - but only about 12 in the sales department. Most of them are very nice - but they are just "guys" (sorry). I've been in auto sales for just over 3 years. I do love it too....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love the title to this thread. Overlooked. It's so sad because I'm me inside, even though the outside was so horrid for me to see, I wanted to be overlooked. In the shadows. Unnoticed. It's a terrible place to be, and very lonely. It was for me. I'm slowly getting back to me. It really is a transition. Thanks for that Cindy.

I feel "overlooked" because of my size but its not where I WANT to be. I want to be noticed for the me thats inside - the same me that will be here when I lose the weight - The men are in for a surprise! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 2 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×