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To Tell Or Not To Tell... My Story



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Hey Rain... I'm also a teacher.. I hope to be sleeved during my Christmas break, but I won't be returning to school until Feb 1st.. I've told my admins and a few friends at work.. I was very reluctant to tell my Mom, who found out from one of my 6 sisters!!! So, I went home to MS for Thanksgiving and we all sat down after dinner and talked..

I decided to have surgery because I'm beginning to "feel" my weight and my body is letting me know that I'm over 350 lbs!!! I hurt my back some years ago and I've managed it well until recently when a bout of pneumonia forced me to be on bed rest for some weeks...

The one person who had a major issue was an overweight friend of mine who ranted and raved about I just needed to work out and get a plan.. I was in tears because I felt that she of all people should understand how it is to be trapped in a body that seems like it doesn't belong to you.. It's like being in prison!!! But she was so unsupportive and rude!! Later I figured out why.. she doesn't want to be the lone "fat" girl in our group.. She feels that I will change and become a snob or something...

Anyway, i told them I was looking for approval or validation of my decision.. I wanted them to know what was going on.. And if they don't agree, that's fine.. it's my body and my life.. They know me.. I'm analytical.. i don't do anything without researching and "counting the cost"...

I believe we will be fine!!

My sleeve sister!! Thanks for your words and support. I understand exactly what you are going through. I suspect that some of my friendships will change because I won't be the token 'fat' person in the group any longer. I'm okay with that. I will mourn the lose of some of my friendships, but I am GETTING MY LIFE BACK!! I don't care if people think this is the easy way out anymore. I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm doing this to save my LIFE!

I hope all goes well with your surgery. I know what time mine is on Friday afternoon. I'll be sure to let you know. Unfortunately I don't check this site as often as I check the other site I use but I will try to do that for you!

Tonya

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I am sooo battling the same thing! I've only told my immediate family, 2 supportive friends, and one coworker (after 3 glasses of wine). I trust them all, so I'm not worried about that. I'm a teacher also, and I don't know how to tell my principal. Is saying "personal surgery" info enough if I'm going to be out for a week? I'm still praying for it to fall during winter break. I know the teachers, students, and parents will start to notice, but I don't know if I want to devulge that personal info. I feel people will judge wether I hear it or not...then on the other hand, SO WHAT, it may help someone too...

BeyoncSleeve

Hi Beyonc! I'm so sorry I usually don't check this site! I haven't told my administrators what I'm having but I think they have guessed it. They have been NOTHING short of supportive. Have you gotten a date yet? Please feel me in. You can send me a private message and I'll give you my email so we can keep in touch.

PS Anyone who has responded to this I will do the same for you guys too! Thank you for your support!

Tonya

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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