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I Feel So Guilty For Wanting The Gastric Sleeve Surgery This Year...



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I have finally started posting after lurking for almost a year! I have learned so much. In that time I have completed my 6th month supervised diet, all tests, visits, etc. Called my surgeons office last week to let them know my PCP was sending all the paperwork over and to expect it, so they could submit to insurance. They told me at that point they were completely booked till February. I was really upset as I had been trying to work with them and my PCP to squeeze this in this year. First reason is my work has a "lock down" period at the end of December into January, so my leaving at that time would be manageable when I returned to work. Second reason is that I have met almost all of my out of pocket expenses for this year with BCBS-IL and would have to pay next to nothing. Otherwise, it this doesn't happen till next year, I will have to pay a big chunk. I do believe this is worth any amount of money, but it just seems like that would be throwing money away because my surgeon is booked. I have spoken to his once for the consultation, but other than that, I don't see what other obligation I have to him.

Question: If his office submits to insurance for approval, does that mean I have to have him do the surgery or is that approval good for any surgeon?

I'm really thinking about contacting another surgeon as there are other "high profile" surgeons in the area. Just not sure why I feel so guilty about reaching out to another when I've only just spoken to him once.

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I think if you find a surgeon that you trust, go for it.. I'm unsure as to how the approval process works, I guess they approve the surgery and not just the surgeon??!!??..

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hi, indi1. i agree with favoredone--if you can find another surgeon you're comfortable with, go for it--in the grand scheme of things, your well-being (and financial situation) are more important than a surgeon you've spoken to one time losing a patient. he'll probably shrug it off, while for you, a lot more is riding on you being able to get it done this year. just my two cents.

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Absolutely, if you can find another surgeon who is just as experienced and reputable don't worry about making the change. This is YOUR journey, no one else's. It does sound like you have boundaries on when is the best time for you to have surgery. Having to wait an entire extra year and paying a lot more out of pocket is a major reason to seek alternatives. You will want to do this with as little stress as possible, because just having this surgery is stressful enough.

You said so, you only spoke to this Dr. one time. You are not bound to him at all.

Hugs! You will figure it out. :)

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I understand the guilt. I tend to be very loyal to my nail girl, hair guy etc. Having said that, I would look for a surgeon of excellence in your area (not necessarily high profile) and call them about availability. Make sure you call your insurance first though. They might have certain providers or hospitals they require.

Once you have it all secure, then call the first surgeons office, explain briefly why you will leave & thank them. This surgery is about you, your recovery, your finances, your health. Go for it girl!

Do know though that "high profile" and experienced is not the same. If I was you, I'd make sure your surgeon is a "surgeon of excellence" practicing at a "hospital of excellence". You can find out the info easily online. Best wishes!!!

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Have you spoken directly with your surgeon or only the scheduler? Sometimes if the surgeon knows the circumstances s/he will make an exception and stay late, come in another day etc. If he had an emergency surgery they would find room and sometimes they allow room in the schedule for that. I would definitely plead my case directly even if the only way to see him was another appointment face to face. They are human and if he says "no" then you'll feel no guilt switching ( though you shouldn't anyway)! It's your money! Let us know what happens.

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Thanks, I don't feel so bad now.I called BCBS and they said that when they approve it, it can be used at any surgeon in the network. I checked the next hospital that is a "Blue Distinction" Bariatric Center in the network. (Which is what I meant by "High Profile", I just couldn't remember what it was called at the time :) Unfortunately,they are booked as well. Tomorrow I will go further out and try the next one.

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Oh and Monty, I am going to call the original surgeons office tomorrow and plead my case again with the coordinator. I doubt they would let me talk to the surgeon directly since I don't have anything scheduled, but I may ask anyway. All I can do is irritate them:)

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I checked the next hospital that is a "Blue Distinction" Bariatric Center in the network. (Which is what I meant by "High Profile", I just couldn't remember what it was called at the time :smile1:

LOL! Gotcha! Best wishes!

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I had a very similar situation. Also BCBS-IL. Anyway, the bariatric clinic held up the paperwork for almost a month. When I called the surgeon's office she told me that there was no way I would have the surgery this year, because he was all booked. Well I faxed a letter to the surgeon and to the bariatric clinic, explaining why this surgery is a physical necessity for me, why I cannot have it done next year (very similar to your case) affordability, job restrictions. The next day I got a call that he can do my surgery Dec. 19.! Amazing. Just waiting now for BCBS approval. Keep after your doc - it can't hurt

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Last chance- Thanks for the input and you are right, it certainly can't hurt. BCBS also told me yesterday that if they put a date on the predetermination form, it may get approved sooner because they are supposed to look at those first. I have just never been the "squeaky wheel", but I'm going to start.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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