Am I the only who fears screwing up and gaining it all back?

[Amanda131 214]

Folks who know me will tell you that I am generally a Pollyanna, glass is half-full kind of gal. But, friends, I have to tell you the one area I am struggling to stay positive in is my weight loss. Trust me, I am thrilled that I have lost almost 110 pounds and most days I am pretty sure I will make it to my goal weight. The creeping, negative monster in my mind is that I will someday screw up and gain it all back. That I am doing little things now that will ultimately destroy all I've worked for, etc.

Literally, this is the stuff my nightmares are made of. I feel as though I just escaped prison and I am waiting for the Marshalls to find me and haul my a$$ back in. I don't want to be a fugitive in weight loss. I want to be confident and self-assured that I have finally learned my lessons when it comes to nutrition and health, but I have a history of losing 80-100 pounds on four other occasions and then doing everything in my power to sabotage myself. How can I convince myself this time is different? To those who've also battled these demons and succeeded, how did you do it? Any tips?

I will keep fighting the good fight. I truly believe that failure is not an option, but the fear is real and it does affect me.

Thanks for listening.

Amanda

[meggiep 57]

I have some of those fears too as I get closer to goal.

One thing I know will help me is never to stop weighing. I stopped weighing for 11 years and it was so wrong! I will make sure to stay accountable to myself and will weigh daily.

We can do this!

[AutumnLily 77]

I think this is a fear for some. I do not drink my calories and I try to stick to Protein first and then veg and starches. I know that I will never eat the way I used to and so to gain it all back I would really have to sabotage myself. I love how I feel and know in my heart of hearts that I will never go back to the weight I originally was. Try to find that positive vibe/mantra and repeat it to yourself everyday until you believe that you can achieve this goal and keep at it for life.

[FishingNurse 1,210]

I have the exact same fear sometimes. I had the same pattern of gaining and losing. This time it is different Amanda! We have our sleeve. Keep your eye on the prize! You are an inspiration!

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

I'm 2 1/2 years post op and I'm still at goal. I can tell you that nothing will make me gain weight faster than sugar. My portions are so small that I can pretty much eat whatever I want for my meals. As soon as I make the decision to eat some sort of dessert, I can be guaranteed a gain on the scale the next day.

That doesn't mean I don't eat treats on special occasions, but I know I have to be very good and watch what I eat all week long afterward to make up for it.

You won't gain weight back if you're careful and weigh yourself frequently.

[Thomas CPA 496]

It is always with us. I get concerned if I gain 2 pounds and I am only starting 4 month post op but I know I will fluctuate up and down in a 5 pound range. I allow myself one day a month to treat myself without worrying about sugars or carbs. So I may put on a pound but it comes off again.

We are all human, relax and enjoy the new you.

[GetInMyBelly 80]

I already feel like I'm doing something wrong with this new mushy phase. I'm on wk 3 (day 2) and I havnt lost more than 2 pounds in the whole past week!!! I hardly lost anything preop either on the 2 wk diet. It would b such a Shame to not lose the 100+ I need to lose!!!!! ;0(

[ngory07 22]

I have the same fear! I have lost 136 lbs but lately I have been eating like crap and feel like its too much. I still have 25 lbs to go before I hit goal and I have recommited to eating better. No more soda and no more sweets til thanksgiving! I haven't gained but I am so fearful of stretching out my new stomach. And no more green! I always overeat when I get the munchies. Lol!

[BroadwayBaby 19]

I too have the same fear. I have been stalled a few times and no matter how many times I read about stalls and keep on doing what I need to do I get afraid that this is it, I will fail and not even be close to my goal weight. I am already battling negativity with my surgeon and endo who have told me that I am being unrealistic to think I can lose and maintain 100 lbs so when the mood strikes me I lapse back into those negative thoughts. I am determined to work my sleeve and eat the foods I am supposed to but I do have creeping fears of failing either during or after the process.

[Chimera 644]

Sounds like a lot of folks feel the same - I am pre-surgical, I have lost just over 10% of my weight during my 6 months of medical weight loss (but berate myself because it should be more I tell myself) - I have the fear that I will have the surgery and it wont work for me - or that I will lose 10 lbs. and that will be it no matter what I do.

[coops 1,790]

.

Literally, this is the stuff my nightmares are made of. I feel as though I just escaped prison and I am waiting for the Marshalls to find me and haul my a$$ back in. I don't want to be a fugitive in weight loss.

I love this analagy...

I completely relate to you... over the last 6mths, I have cheered myself on and beaten myself up within hours. When people say that this is a rollercoaster... well, they are right on the money!

Unlike you, I have NEVER EVER lost more than 7lbs on any sort of diet! So, this for me is a real testiment of how the sleeve works! I think time, too, will be your friend... it has become mine. When my year post op came and went and I wasn't at weight goal I sorta freaked out. Since then I have continued to lose, ok slowly, but it IS coming off.

We have to believe in ourselves... this is our time and failure is a four letter F word in my head and not an option.

Believe in youself my lovely ladyeee... those nightmares are what they are... in your head. Don't, under any circumstances, let them become reality. Remember the dream? Well, we are living it!

Chin up Amanda, sending you positive vibes from across the pond x

[june13sleever 223]

Now that I can eat more and only five months out I fear that I won't lose anymore, and I will find ways to gain it all back. I think that since the restriction is not so severe I will try to find some support groups. I can see how easy it is to slip back, but also think wow...I have a tiny little tummy so I need to use it. I need to stock up on cucumbers/celery sticks so when I get that urge they are right there waiting for me. I need to make sure I have a plan since the last 55 pounds until goal is going to be mostly my effort and less of the sleeve. I literally was hungry all day yesterday. I ate a meal and then an hour later I was hungry. Maybe my metabolism is better because I eat smaller meals throughout the day, but I didn't have the proper Snacks at hand so I ate a hamburger bun, Peanut Butter, grapefruit and pickles...I swear I ATE EVERYTHING yesterday. I didn't even have to eat slow! It went down and then one hour later - hungry again. I will be going shopping today! Dense protiens, low calorie veggies to fill me up. I AM SO SCARED! But at least 55 pounds isn't 130 pounds. I got a great head start by doing virtually nothing, and I wish I had really put more effort into working out. I will make it happen. I am so close, but the reality is that the sleeve can't do all the work!

[Amanda131 214]

Thank you all SO MUCH for your responses. Seeing so many successful peeps respond with the similar fears makes me feel much better. Like many of you I find myself able to eat much more at 8 1/2 months out. I think I am also stressing because I really thought I would be under 200 right now- even if that wasn't a totally realistic goal.

I started logging calories again on My Fitness Pal and I spazzed a bit when I realized I was consistently hitting 1500 calories and I could easily go higher without watching it. So many on here stick to much lower calorie counts that I felt scared. What I didn't think about is that I am training for a 1/2 marathon and logging 20+ miles a week. I just need to remember that my body is a machine right now and needs fuel. Even at 1550 calories a day I lost 7 pounds in two weeks so I know needed those calories.

I am so thankful for this site where I can find so many helpful friends who completely understand. And, I can't tell you how thankful my husband is that I come to you guys to spaz instead of him.

Amanda

[mnbsleeve 87]

All I can say is DITTO! I try not to get to ahead of myself since I am still loosing ... and dealing with stalls! ... but I do secretly fear maintenance and that way weight has crept back up in the past. I too find this board most comforting and supportive! I suspect I will be here a long time to come! :-) I think when more of us have achieved long term success we will all start to breathe easier and "believe." Suzannesh just posted yesterday her success after 3 years!!!! I was so encouraging. There was also another post, whose name I don't recall right now, at a year and 8 months out! I'm always trolling around for those posts LOL They raise my confidence and outlook for the future! :-) SO PLEASE everyone, keep posting long after you've reached goal LOL I'll do the same!!!!!

Thank you for the helpful tips and suggestions - seriously!

[GetInMyBelly 80]

I don't get it cuz it's 18 days after surgery and with preop n till now I'm still only at a 22lb loss. In the past 18 days nothing has changed. What am I doing wrong? Maybe I need to walk more? Maybe I need to eat less mushies. I don't know. :0( help me please.