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Situation with wife and weight lost.



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I have a lot to say about this one. I am having the same problem with my husband! He lost 60 pounds a couple of years ago and weighed about 215... he is 6'2". He is much healther now but then he started to gain a little back.. got up to 230. I weighed 234 three weeks ago and I had my surgery last monday. I am starting to loose already. He and I were walking and he said I should make my first goal to weigh less than him. He started watching what he ate from that day forward (presurgery). As I would weight in our bathroom and announce my weight loss, he would go in there and weigh. It has turned ugly the last few days. Yesterday, he jumped on the scales and said I weight 217.7! I weighed the exact same! I was excited! He said NO WAY! I am like, do you want me to reach my goal? YOU suggested it! So he has been competing with me because he doesnt want me to weigh less!!!!! I cant believe it! I said you are not supporting me, you are going against me! Of course I want him to loose back down and get healthy, but right now I need his support and for him to want me to do well. This morning he weighed and announced he was 214.9. of course I didnt loose 3 pounds overnight and was 215.9. So he went to work with a smile knowing I still weighed more than he did. I am so hurt about this. What gets into peoples heads???? I am very sad about it but I dont know what to do. Lash, I hope this doesnt happen to you but it sounds like it is. She is getting jealous that you are going to be in better shape than her so she is diligently working on it. Its a good thing but it can be taxing on a marriage. I know you want her to feel good about herself and be proud and supportive of you at the same time. Thats what I want too. I want him to be proud of himself too. My point is that when he lost his weight... we have celebrated and bragged for two years. I cant even get started good, til I am being made to feel he is against me and trying hard for me NOT to make my goal that he proposed for me... what to do, what to do.

WOW! He's nuts. Who wants to weight less than your wife? I don't need a wife that I think can beat me up?

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My wife always did not have to watch her weight, she is a tall sexy 180 lbs. and eat all day. As of late she have gained approx 10 lbs or so but it looks good on her.

We are both in our late 50's. The thing is now I am at 189 lbs and still losing (thought I had stopped at 195) from 275 pre-op weight. Always she had the advantage

because of her metabolism and I out weighted her for about 100 lbs., until now. I am within 10 lbs of he body weight and I feel she is getting a bit concern about her body

now. I been trying to reassure the sexy lady she have nothing to worry about, but that's not working. For now she is going to the gym and mostly modifying her diet. Any suggestions what

I can do to boost her confidence and relax her feelings about her weight or go along with her program (happy wife equals happy hubby).

Continued thanks,

Lash

You need to cheat on her with a ugly woman....Naw this doesn't work I tried it.

She doesn't want to be the big one when you go out in public. I have no clue how to fix this. Women make me shake..

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Us women can be a little nuts sometimes ;) Same goes for men though lol.

Keep reminding her how beautiful she is and go work-out together :) For women, it's engrained in us to need to weigh less than our men. What woman wants to be bigger than her husband?! It's embarrassing, I know from experience. A huge goal of mine was the weigh less than my husband. I hit that goal months ago, then he had jaw surgery and did a liquid diet for 6 weeks and got down below me again. It played with my mind so much. I was so stinkin annoyed that he weighed less than me again. I busted my butt to get below him again and now that he can eat again and I am still losing I am 20 lbs less than him. And let me tell you, it makes me happy. Now he is working out all the time because he sees me working out and there is a part of me that wishes he would knock it off lol. It's not that I want him to be unhealthy, I just don't want him getting this super hot built body while I still look like a bunch of wrinkled skin. See I told you girls can be nuts ;)

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WOW! He's nuts. Who wants to weight less than your wife? I don't need a wife that I think can beat me up?

After we talked yesterday, I felt better.... and then... he did it again this morning... only more passive aggressive... he yelled from the bathroom... woohoooo! I said "What happened?" He said, "oh its nothing, nevermind"... as If I could just let that go... then he said I am now at 212. He knew that I was still at 215. I was upset but I hid it and said congrats and he left for work... then I cried. I guess I am must an emotional sap. I am not going to let this affect my progress. I cant.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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