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No support from boyfriend and family



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I understand how you feel! My husband isn't supportive at all. When I started learning about WLS I decided that VSG is what I wanted...what I NEEDED and other people's opinions wouldn't change my mind. When I told my husband that I wanted this surgery all he said was "We're not paying for that, just stop eating and excerscize" Even though I think his issues with this are deeper than the price my heart broke and I cried for days. He doesn't understand how I feel to be OBESE. At this point I'm still trying to come up with a solution to make this happen. My mom was just offered a job and told me that if it works out she'll give me the money without hesitation...She is my only supporter, who understands how it feels to be so overweight. I'll then schedule my surgery and be on my way to Mexico! Keep your chin up and remember you are doin't this for YOU and YOUR HEALTH! :D

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Glad to hear that other people meet with opposition as I have when I tell them of my plans to get sleeved in Mexico of all places!!! People do not understand that it is very difficult to lose the amount of weight that we need to lose and then keep it off. Alot of people talk about what the complications could be for me, but what about the complications if I don't have the surgery, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. I worked in a nsg home and we have had quite a few people in the 400-500lb range come in lately. They are fairly young and the reason they are there is due to complications of their obesity. This has helped me make my decision to get sleeved. It seems that loved ones act like they want you to lose weight and be healthy, but when you try to they are not really that supportive. Good luck and best wishes to all my fellow sleevers out there.

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I understand how you feel! My husband isn't supportive at all. When I started learning about WLS I decided that VSG is what I wanted...what I NEEDED and other people's opinions wouldn't change my mind. When I told my husband that I wanted this surgery all he said was "We're not paying for that, just stop eating and excerscize" Even though I think his issues with this are deeper than the price my heart broke and I cried for days. He doesn't understand how I feel to be OBESE. At this point I'm still trying to come up with a solution to make this happen. My mom was just offered a job and told me that if it works out she'll give me the money without hesitation...She is my only supporter, who understands how it feels to be so overweight. I'll then schedule my surgery and be on my way to Mexico! Keep your chin up and remember you are doin't this for YOU and YOUR HEALTH! :D

I also am having a hard time paying for the surgery but I think I have it all worked out now for November. It will definitely be a sacrafice in some ways but it will be so worth it. I hope things work out for you too financially. And I hope he comes around once he sees how happy you are losing the weight and feeling better.

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I told my family I was considering WLS. I got some negative feed back so I did it any way without as much as telling them anything else. After the surgery, they all said why didn't you tell us you were having surgery. I said if you had been more supportive when I said I was considering it I may have included you. Since you weren't I decided i didn't need the negativity around during a trying and emotional time.. next time they should think before they say somthing about somebody elses decisions; because they just might leave you out of the next one..

Good luck...

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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