Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

IS THIS SLEEVE BACKFIRING ON ANYONE ELSES RELATIONSHIPS? I ASKED HIM DOES HE NEED HELP BY GETTING THE SURGERY AS WELL, BUT ALL HE HAS TO DO IS EAT RIGHT, WALK A COUPLE OF MILES AND HE WOULD DROP THE 40 LBS BUT HE WONT DO ANYTHING. I FEEL LIKE I AM SAVING MONEY BECAUSE I DON'T EAT OUT LIKE I DID PRIOR TO SURGERY BUT HE IS MAKING UP FOR IT! A LITTLE FRUSTRATED EVEN THOUGH I USED TO BE THERE. ANY ADVICE?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like he's having problems with your success. Maybe he'd go to a session of couples counseling with you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Passive aggression at it's finest. :) I am fortunate in that my husband also choose to get healthy with me, but I haven't always been this fortunate. About five years ago, I dropped 80 pounds and, I swear, my husband did everything in he power to eat as terrible as he could while I lost weight. I, of course, wanted him to join me in weight loss because I felt great, wanted a partner in my fat-fighting, and I missed a thinner, healthier Hubs. The more I pushed, suggested, etc. the more he ate.

I finally learned that this needed to be his decision and, other than support him once he was ready, there wasn't a darn thing I could do about it. It's frustrating, I know. I suggest that you continue on your healthful path and not mention it to him again, maybe even pick him up his favorite treat to indicate you aren't judging and then wait for him to come to you. When he's ready, welcome him but don't push. He has to want this for himself.

Best wishes to you!

Amanda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No one likes to be told that "all they have to do is eat right and walk a bit" and they will lose weight. If that is all we had to do we wouldn't have needed surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know the feeling, although my husband is super bad. He knows he needs to lose about 50 lbs. And he does get some exercise. He plays hockey once a week. And he will go on my bike rides with me sometimes too. If I ask him to walk with me, he will do that too.....just to have our alone time.

But he loves fast foods. I use to not cook alot, because we ate out most of the time....BEFORE I joined WW in March. I then started cooking more. Sure we ate out about twice a week, but not 5 or 6 times. It was a slow process. Find some simple healthy recipes that are along the lines of things he enjoys and start cooking more. Even if its just dinner he eats right and still eats out at lunch...its a start. Or you can suggest he takes leftovers for lunch a few days a week if he liked the dinner. My husband loves Mexican foods, so I tend to do more recipes like that. Not all...but most.

Try www.skinnytaste.com she has some great slow cooker recipes. The Carnitas are wonderful. My husband and son eat them like brisket taco's. And love to take for lunch the next day. My son is 7 and would take to school, thought it was special. I would take a flour tortilla (low carb) place a piece of butterkause cheese on it then the meat....they loved it. Of course now I just eat some of the meat, not tortilla for me. I would also cook a veggie or make a salad to go with it. Both my son and hubby likes salad, so thats a good thing.

If its Italian he likes, try some of the meatball recipes. You can eat yours on veggies and let him eat his on low carb Pasta. No garlic bread if you can get away from it. The point is, not to let him know its healthy.....just that you are making changes and want to try new foods.

If its steak he loves....great, do that and salad and a good veggie. Or cauliflower mashed taters....LOL with cheese. My husband loves the leftovers, everyone at work envys him and his steak. Now he does eat out at work still, but its not 5 days a week like he use too. He is slowly coming down in weight and now that he sees it...he likes it. But I don't make a big deal about it. Its a slow process.

Good Luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IS THIS SLEEVE BACKFIRING ON ANYONE ELSES RELATIONSHIPS? I ASKED HIM DOES HE NEED HELP BY GETTING THE SURGERY AS WELL, BUT ALL HE HAS TO DO IS EAT RIGHT, WALK A COUPLE OF MILES AND HE WOULD DROP THE 40 LBS BUT HE WONT DO ANYTHING. I FEEL LIKE I AM SAVING MONEY BECAUSE I DON'T EAT OUT LIKE I DID PRIOR TO SURGERY BUT HE IS MAKING UP FOR IT! A LITTLE FRUSTRATED EVEN THOUGH I USED TO BE THERE. ANY ADVICE?

My husband and I are going through some of this ourselves. He is extremely jealous of my success only because he loved me large or small and he is afraid I will leave if I get smaller. (he has been left in the past-by others) reassure him if that is any problem and the take care of yourself....keep on trucking on loosing and doing this for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband and I are going through some of this ourselves. He is extremely jealous of my success only because he loved me large or small and he is afraid I will leave if I get smaller. (he has been left in the past-by others) reassure him if that is any problem and the take care of yourself....keep on trucking on loosing and doing this for you.

Thanks so much, this is my husband's story exactly! But I am trying to convince him it is about our health most importantly! No other man can compare to the one I have even though now they are looking more. My motto is, you can look but you can touch!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OH YES! He is 400+ and gaining. The more I eat right and lose, the more he goes out his way to eat crap! I won't even get into our conversations, and I really do refrain. However it is coming to an ultimatum. I am not going to be a widow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×