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Bittersweet Birthday (of course it's in my head!)



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Well, yesterday was my 42nd birthday. And honestly, it was kind of a bummer. I am thrilled that I had my VSG on May 5th and that at almost 3 months I am down 60 lbs. I am happy for the energy I now have to work out a minimum of 5 hours a week. I love the loose clothing. That being said, I am mourning the fact that I miss certain foods. I am a huge foodie, and all my friends are foodies also. We like to get together for pot lucks and dinners. This birthday was rough, my best friend wanted to take me to dinner to Celebrate. But I talked him into just getting some take out and catching up on 'True Blood'.

I did this because, it seems like an INCREDIBLE waste of money to go out and eat when I can only get down a few bites, can't enjoy an appetizer. Hell, I did not even have a bite of anything sweet because pastries, cake or anything with flour pretty much makes me dry heave until it comes up.

I guess I am mourning the loss of comfort foods, and it sucks, and I should not whine. I guess it is just hard because yesterday really drove hope a feeling I have been having that this is just a diet. The thought of another 50 something years dieting, well, it sucks.

Don't get me wrong, i am happy with my WLS decision, it is just this mind set battle can suck sometimes.

When did your 'New Life' stop feeling so restrictive and depriving like a diet?

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First let me say....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

I was sleeved June 16th and my diet is still somewhat limited (lots of complications). I am just now starting mushies and limited ones. I can't answer your question, but I wanted to add that I am having lots of anxiety regarding my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. I will cry lots of tears if I am unable to tolerate a bite of my favorite foods. Just one bite, thats all I want. I'm sure I am borrowing trouble and shouldn't be worrying about.

Hopefully as your sleeve matures and the further out you get you will be able to tolerate small amounts of the food you love. I don't think you are whining, I think its a very good thing to get these feelings out, especially here where we are all experiencing similar struggles. I tell you, the first time I had refried Beans I got teary eyed. Luckily that was one of my favorite foods pre surgery and I eat them all the time now. It makes me feel normal. I think that is the hardest part of this, is adjusting to the lifestyle change.

I have to cook meals for my family and have stood in my kitchen and cried as I pulled that gorgeous roast out of the oven and had to walk away and let my husband finish up dinner. That part is getting easier though. I have to keep reminding myself its not forever. The thought of going to a restaurant gives me the willys! I think that would be absolute torture for me this early out.

BTW Congrats on the 60 pounds in 3 months!!! That is incredible!!!! I really hope things get easier for you. Just know you are not alone.

Well, yesterday was my 42nd birthday. And honestly, it was kind of a bummer. I am thrilled that I had my VSG on May 5th and that at almost 3 months I am down 60 lbs. I am happy for the energy I now have to work out a minimum of 5 hours a week. I love the loose clothing. That being said, I am mourning the fact that I miss certain foods. I am a huge foodie, and all my friends are foodies also. We like to get together for pot lucks and dinners. This birthday was rough, my best friend wanted to take me to dinner to Celebrate. But I talked him into just getting some take out and catching up on 'True Blood'.

I did this because, it seems like an INCREDIBLE waste of money to go out and eat when I can only get down a few bites, can't enjoy an appetizer. Hell, I did not even have a bite of anything sweet because pastries, cake or anything with flour pretty much makes me dry heave until it comes up.

I guess I am mourning the loss of comfort foods, and it sucks, and I should not whine. I guess it is just hard because yesterday really drove hope a feeling I have been having that this is just a diet. The thought of another 50 something years dieting, well, it sucks.

Don't get me wrong, i am happy with my WLS decision, it is just this mind set battle can suck sometimes.

When did your 'New Life' stop feeling so restrictive and depriving like a diet?

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Dear H2H,

Don't be too discouraged. I think what you are going through is completely normal. I remember feeling the same way during the first few months after my vsg surgery just over one year ago. In fact, I remember posting about how much I missed one of my best friends, food.

I can't promise you the feeling will ever go away completely, but it will get better. There are still days when I miss eating what I used to enjoy so much, but then I remember that that is how I got into trouble in the first place. I did find some peace of mind when I came to the realization that, like a recovering alcoholic or drug addict, I cannot ever go back to my old way of eating. I also count my blessings that I was able to receive a tool that makes it very difficult for me to return to that old destructive way of eating.

The good news is that as you lose more and more weight, you will become less conscious of the food you cannot indulge in and more aware of the living that you are able to enjoy without the excess weight and all its complications.

Good luck to you.

Brian

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You must think of it this way......where will you be this time next year on your birthday???? Give up stuff now and you will reap the benefits later.

Next year, you will be able to eat normally, just smaller portions. You will be able to have a few drinks if that is your passion. You will be much much smaller and you will look awesome!!

Don't be sad, be happy and Happiest Birthday to you!!

Kelly ;)

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Happy birthday!

I think others are right and you will be able to eat a little more later on down the road. Everyone heals at their own pace.

I already can eat a bite of just about anything, as long as it's not in the morning. food and me are not friends till lunch time. So that allows me to feel pretty normal. Like you, I love eating out and all that goes with that. The San Francisco Bay Area is very food-focused. I eat out a lot. I order an appetizer, or share a main dish with someone else. Only thing I am missing right now is alcohol. But I am willing to wait.

Lynda

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Thanks all for the kind words. And 'imawhodat' as far as your quote:

'I have to cook meals for my family and have stood in my kitchen and cried as I pulled that gorgeous roast out of the oven and had to walk away and let my husband finish up dinner. That part is getting easier though. I have to keep reminding myself its not forever. The thought of going to a restaurant gives me the willys! I think that would be absolute torture for me this early out. '

Roasts go down BEAUTIFULLY with the VSG, at least for me. Crockpot Carnitas, also. chicken is the only thing that gives me trouble, it seems too dry. Although, I have no trouble with Turkey. In fact I substitute turkey breast for chicken in most meals. And I am a crockpot fiend! I find if the Protein slow cooks in it's juices, plus a little acidity (lemon or lime or vinegars) it makes it very tender and goes down very well!

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Thank you for the tip on the roast! My plan won't allow me to have roast or steak for 10 more weeks!! AGH!

Thanks all for the kind words. And 'imawhodat' as far as your quote:

'I have to cook meals for my family and have stood in my kitchen and cried as I pulled that gorgeous roast out of the oven and had to walk away and let my husband finish up dinner. That part is getting easier though. I have to keep reminding myself its not forever. The thought of going to a restaurant gives me the willys! I think that would be absolute torture for me this early out. '

Roasts go down BEAUTIFULLY with the VSG, at least for me. Crockpot Carnitas, also. chicken is the only thing that gives me trouble, it seems too dry. Although, I have no trouble with Turkey. In fact I substitute turkey breast for chicken in most meals. And I am a crockpot fiend! I find if the Protein slow cooks in it's juices, plus a little acidity (lemon or lime or vinegars) it makes it very tender and goes down very well!

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H2H - do tell on crock pot carnitas!!

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My Crockpot Carnitas

3 lbs of Pork Shoulder/Butt

4 minced garlic cloves (I use a whole bulb)

1/2 an onion minced (I use Vidalia)

1 can of Tecate (Mexican Beer) (Totally optional, just sub with water)

1 cup of Orange juice

1 cup of hot Water with bouion or your preference of Stock/Broth

juice of one lime

1/4 a cup of vinegar (I use red wine vinegar)

2 tablespoons garlic salt

2 tablespoons cumin

1 tablespoon chili powder/cayenne

2 teaspoons ground coriander

4 tablespoons of black pepper

salt to taste

I get my pork in huge chunks and lightly brown it on a skillet and throw in a crock pot.

Then I add a healthy splash of olive oil to the still hot skillet and add the onions to caramelize. It is not necessary, but does make the dish a bit sweeter. I caramelize the onions for 15 mins until they look good and dark/burnt, I lower the flame add a shot of olive juice and very, very lightly cook the garlic. Do not burn the garlic or it will be biter.

Then add the Tecate and all the lime juice to the skillet and loosen all the bits and burn up the alcohol for about 5 mins. Then pour over the pork in crock pot. then in a bowl I add all my dry ingredients to my oj/stock and whisk. Then I pour on top of the pork.

For my crock pot this about half way covers the pork, but if it cover it completely that is ok also.

then I cook on low for 6-8 hours or overnight.

When done, pull out the pork and use 2 forks to shred. I also add fresh chopped onions, cilantro and lime to my ready to eat portion. I freeze half with the juice to enjoy later one.

This is all about adding flavors you like. Don't want it spicy, cut the chili and cut back most of the pepper. The lime and vinegar are important to break down the meat and makes it easier to swallow for me.

Enjoy.

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Happy Birthday! I'm 3 1/2 mos. out, and I can eat just about anything. I can't eat alot of it, but I feel that as long as I can taste it, I don't mind so much. If i order dinner, I take a taste of an appetizer, or i just pass. I don't mind taking home leftovers, because I enjoy them the next day. I had to come to the realization that I didn't need to eat a great amount of something to enjoy it. Once I wrapped my mind around that concept, I could enjoy my experience without feeling deprived. yes, it's different, thank goodness, because I still have lots of weight to lose. I think of the sleeve as my best friend that is trying to keep me healthy. I know that sounds corny, but it gets me through the day. Hope this helps.

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