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Need some good come back tips for the neg. people



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How about..."next time I need a little discouraging word, I'll know to come to you." :rolleyes: don't forget to roll your eyes like that too...lol

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I told people the people who were negative about my surgery that my Knees gave me permission to do it. My knees said anyway you can get this weight off of us is alright with me. I also have to learn to be okay with myself though, regardless of how big or small I am. I am setting myself up for failure if I am looking for others approval.

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I will tell people that I had VSG - honestly, if knowing I did it helps just one person, that is a good thing. Hiding it is why there is such a stigma. Now after saying that, I won't tell them unless they ask how I am losing - then I will explain it all - the diet and surgery.

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How did you lose 55 pounds pre-op? That alone is amazing!

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Read this looking for some good tips, myself. I told many people about it. However there were a couple of negative friends that I purposely withheld the information from. Will see if it slips out anytime soon. Hoping to get some compliments down the road from them and tell them I'm eating right & exercising (which is true!!) If I can avoid telling them at all costs, fantastic! If they find out, so be it. I am not looking for their approval anyway. But even after 60 pounds, not a word out of them, so not sure why I'm classifying them as friends anyway....

Anyway - *most* people are supportive, and the ones that are not are mostly telling me all about so-and-so who had it done and gained it all back and then some, and looks worse now than ever...blah, blah, blah. I usually hold up my hand and say, "I don't want to hear it." Some super-rude people, however, persist on telling you all about it. They are NOT my friends and I do not confide in them anymore!!! Also, I've had one stranger insist that I should be taking a holistic approach, and she used to have a big stomach, blah, blah, blah. I walked away. But, like I said before, the thing that gets me the most is when they want to tell me about so-and-so who looks horrible and gained it all back after their surgery.

Most people also think I'm not losing as quickly as I should. This is not DS or gastric by-pass. This is a slower process and eating right and exercising factor in or it's not going to work. I think people are talking behind my back at work saying I wasted my time, but really, 60 pounds in 5 months? More than they did, b-otches!! lol!! And at least I'm heading in the right direction, unlike them who gained over the past 5 months and are still gaining. (Of course I don't say this to their faces.)

Good luck! So bottom line is I just say, "I don't want to hear it" and *most* people respect that.

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Read this looking for some good tips, myself. I told many people about it. However there were a couple of negative friends that I purposely withheld the information from. Will see if it slips out anytime soon. Hoping to get some compliments down the road from them and tell them I'm eating right & exercising (which is true!!) If I can avoid telling them at all costs, fantastic! If they find out, so be it. I am not looking for their approval anyway. But even after 60 pounds, not a word out of them, so not sure why I'm classifying them as friends anyway....

Anyway - *most* people are supportive, and the ones that are not are mostly telling me all about so-and-so who had it done and gained it all back and then some, and looks worse now than ever...blah, blah, blah. I usually hold up my hand and say, "I don't want to hear it." Some super-rude people, however, persist on telling you all about it. They are NOT my friends and I do not confide in them anymore!!! Also, I've had one stranger insist that I should be taking a holistic approach, and she used to have a big stomach, blah, blah, blah. I walked away. But, like I said before, the thing that gets me the most is when they want to tell me about so-and-so who looks horrible and gained it all back after their surgery.

Most people also think I'm not losing as quickly as I should. This is not DS or gastric by-pass. This is a slower process and eating right and exercising factor in or it's not going to work. I think people are talking behind my back at work saying I wasted my time, but really, 60 pounds in 5 months? More than they did, b-otches!! lol!! And at least I'm heading in the right direction, unlike them who gained over the past 5 months and are still gaining. (Of course I don't say this to their faces.)

Good luck! So bottom line is I just say, "I don't want to hear it" and *most* people respect that.

60 lbs in 5 months!!?? You are AMAZING!!! Maybe they don't comment because they are afraid to admit that it was a good idea for you..... You are doing great! Hooray for you!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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