Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Oy. *sigh* How to explain postop diet?



Recommended Posts

I get along fine with my husband's children - they are in their mid 20s, he has grandkids, I love them and they love me. Their Mom though, not so much. There is no open hostility there, just a lot of pride I guess. In any case, they don't know I had the Band and they do not know I am in the midst of getting revised to a sleeve. I have recently found out they are coming to visit for a few days in my postop period. I will be on three weeks of thin liquids, then another three weeks of thick liquids and ultimate pureed foods before graduating back to a regular diet.

I do not want to disclose my bariatric surgeries. That is just plain out of the question (so please dont' try to tell me there is nothing to be ashamed of. This is about privacy, not shame for me). What can I say to explain my strange eating habits while they are here?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i was going to keep things quiet before my surgery and as the date got closer i decided it was just too much like lying for me and consumed too much energy. I decided to be proud for taking charge of my life and just told anyone who would notice my post op diet! I have nothing but support!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just tell them you have had some stomach issues and are on a strict diet. You could say they are doing some tests and you're on a liquid diet...you might have an ulcer...IBS...anything. (she's not a nurse is she??)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Prepping for a colonoscopy?

I actually have to do 2 or 3 days of a very light diet before the real prep people do because I have a very slow system.

And I understand completely about the privacy issue.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No, nobody in the medical field and I personally am, so that helps. Someone suggested maybe saying I am on a liquid detox. Lol.

I am happy for those for whom full disclosure is the pathway to peace. I am 10eleventymillion percent positive that I will not choose that pathway, so thank you for those who understand my desire for privacy on this. :heart:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How soon after surgery are they coming? If it is within the first week, I would definately say that you had some sort of procedure- ulcer removed gallbladder out or something. I looked pretty ill for at least a week afterwards... very pale, slow moving, etc. I don't think saying you were prepping for a colonoscopy would be believable if you already looked like you had something done. Just a thought.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for bringing this up! My son is turning 1 just 11 days after my surgery. Of course, that will bring the husbands family. They have no idea I am having the surgery and I have no plans to share! I will be in the pureed stage when they get here. I was planning on saying that I had my gallbladder out or something. The colonoscopy prep may be a better idea though ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was going to say the exact same thing about the liquid detox. I am in the medical field also :-) And that is the explanation I used for my pre op and post op phases initially. Told my family and friends that I needed to lose weight due to medical issues starting to become a concern and that I was starting out with a liquid detox under Dr's supervision :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I plead "stomach problems" for anyone who asks about my eating habits. You won't have to get specific with them. I found its actually harder when you get on to real food because it gets so obvious that you can't eat much AT ALL.

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am with you, I am not ashamed of having the sleeve done but it feels very personal and private to me. Even when people ask me how I have lost weight, I have to be careful about what I say so it doesn't get repeated. I have shared with people who I really thought it could help, but if I wanted my whole town to know I would take out an ad in the local newspaper. It is my body and my weight struggle has been a very long and painful one, and I really want my privacy with regards to it.

My mother recently came for a visit, she had not seen me since I had the sleeve done and she doesn't know that I did it. I busied myself playing hostess and cooking alot for family, and no one really paid that much attention (much to my relief) what or how much I was eating. I have been thinking about your delimma and I think if it were me, I might tell them that I am working at losing weight (not a lie) and for right now, I am just doing a liquid portion of a diet (also not a lie). Hopefully they will respect your privacy and not pry too much. Keep us posted how it goes.

I have found that eating around other people can be stressful, especially when you are at a restaurant and when your order arrives, you can tell that you will only be able to eat a few bites of it. I have gotten pretty clever at pushing the food around on my plate so it looks like I have eaten more than I have :P

Try not to worry too much, it will all work out

Kathy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am with you, I am not ashamed of having the sleeve done but it feels very personal and private to me. Even when people ask me how I have lost weight, I have to be careful about what I say so it doesn't get repeated. I have shared with people who I really thought it could help, but if I wanted my whole town to know I would take out an ad in the local newspaper. It is my body and my weight struggle has been a very long and painful one, and I really want my privacy with regards to it.

My mother recently came for a visit, she had not seen me since I had the sleeve done and she doesn't know that I did it. I busied myself playing hostess and cooking alot for family, and no one really paid that much attention (much to my relief) what or how much I was eating. I have been thinking about your delimma and I think if it were me, I might tell them that I am working at losing weight (not a lie) and for right now, I am just doing a liquid portion of a diet (also not a lie). Hopefully they will respect your privacy and not pry too much. Keep us posted how it goes.

I have found that eating around other people can be stressful, especially when you are at a restaurant and when your order arrives, you can tell that you will only be able to eat a few bites of it. I have gotten pretty clever at pushing the food around on my plate so it looks like I have eaten more than I have :P

Try not to worry too much, it will all work out

Kathy

Does Soup work? I've been worried about this issue. I just hate being the center of attention and that was my reason for privacy. I don't want that same issue if we go out to eat. I was planning on getting French Onion Soup or Tomato Soup...something like that where I could actively be eating at least the soup part, even if I push the rest around.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember when we moved my sons to college in August (I had my sleeve done in July), my ex-husband and his girlfriend were insistent that we all eat together. We went to a hamburger restaurant called Red Robin and I was freaked out about what to eat - I had this chicken tortilla Soup and it went down remarkably well - soup could be a good choice for you. I have also gotten to where I just order something off of the appetizer menu so the serving size isn't so huge. If you have any idea where you are going ahead of time, you might be able to look at the menu online and that could help take some of the panic out of it when you get there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a hiatial hernia repair as well as my sleeve. I didn't tell people about my vsg surgery, but instead when asked about my eating, told them my hernia repair would not allow me to eat for a while. i had to allow it to heal in there first!

Worked like a charm!! :D

Kellyl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Glad you brought this up. I will be traveling and seeing family during the holidays and I suspect I will be about 4months post-op. I'm hoping I'll be able to eat normal, healthy food at that point? I just want to blend in. Good luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×