I get along fine with my husband's children - they are in their mid 20s, he has grandkids, I love them and they love me. Their Mom though, not so much. There is no open hostility there, just a lot of pride I guess. In any case, they don't know I had the Band and they do not know I am in the midst of getting revised to a sleeve. I have recently found out they are coming to visit for a few days in my postop period. I will be on three weeks of thin liquids, then another three weeks of thick liquids and ultimate pureed foods before graduating back to a regular diet.

I do not want to disclose my bariatric surgeries. That is just plain out of the question (so please dont' try to tell me there is nothing to be ashamed of. This is about privacy, not shame for me). What can I say to explain my strange eating habits while they are here?

i was going to keep things quiet before my surgery and as the date got closer i decided it was just too much like lying for me and consumed too much energy. I decided to be proud for taking charge of my life and just told anyone who would notice my post op diet! I have nothing but support!

Just tell them you have had some stomach issues and are on a strict diet. You could say they are doing some tests and you're on a liquid diet...you might have an ulcer...IBS...anything. (she's not a nurse is she??)

Prepping for a colonoscopy?

I actually have to do 2 or 3 days of a very light diet before the real prep people do because I have a very slow system.

And I understand completely about the privacy issue.

No, nobody in the medical field and I personally am, so that helps. Someone suggested maybe saying I am on a liquid detox. Lol.

I am happy for those for whom full disclosure is the pathway to peace. I am 10eleventymillion percent positive that I will not choose that pathway, so thank you for those who understand my desire for privacy on this. :heart:

I bet if I manage to make it somehow about my colon or bowel habits the questions will magically stop. :laugh:

How soon after surgery are they coming? If it is within the first week, I would definately say that you had some sort of procedure- ulcer removed gallbladder out or something. I looked pretty ill for at least a week afterwards... very pale, slow moving, etc. I don't think saying you were prepping for a colonoscopy would be believable if you already looked like you had something done. Just a thought.

Thanks for bringing this up! My son is turning 1 just 11 days after my surgery. Of course, that will bring the husbands family. They have no idea I am having the surgery and I have no plans to share! I will be in the pureed stage when they get here. I was planning on saying that I had my gallbladder out or something. The colonoscopy prep may be a better idea though

I was going to say the exact same thing about the liquid detox. I am in the medical field also :-) And that is the explanation I used for my pre op and post op phases initially. Told my family and friends that I needed to lose weight due to medical issues starting to become a concern and that I was starting out with a liquid detox under Dr's supervision :-)

I plead "stomach problems" for anyone who asks about my eating habits. You won't have to get specific with them. I found its actually harder when you get on to real food because it gets so obvious that you can't eat much AT ALL.

Good luck!

I am with you, I am not ashamed of having the sleeve done but it feels very personal and private to me. Even when people ask me how I have lost weight, I have to be careful about what I say so it doesn't get repeated. I have shared with people who I really thought it could help, but if I wanted my whole town to know I would take out an ad in the local newspaper. It is my body and my weight struggle has been a very long and painful one, and I really want my privacy with regards to it.

My mother recently came for a visit, she had not seen me since I had the sleeve done and she doesn't know that I did it. I busied myself playing hostess and cooking alot for family, and no one really paid that much attention (much to my relief) what or how much I was eating. I have been thinking about your delimma and I think if it were me, I might tell them that I am working at losing weight (not a lie) and for right now, I am just doing a liquid portion of a diet (also not a lie). Hopefully they will respect your privacy and not pry too much. Keep us posted how it goes.

I have found that eating around other people can be stressful, especially when you are at a restaurant and when your order arrives, you can tell that you will only be able to eat a few bites of it. I have gotten pretty clever at pushing the food around on my plate so it looks like I have eaten more than I have

Try not to worry too much, it will all work out

Kathy

I am with you, I am not ashamed of having the sleeve done but it feels very personal and private to me. Even when people ask me how I have lost weight, I have to be careful about what I say so it doesn't get repeated. I have shared with people who I really thought it could help, but if I wanted my whole town to know I would take out an ad in the local newspaper. It is my body and my weight struggle has been a very long and painful one, and I really want my privacy with regards to it.

My mother recently came for a visit, she had not seen me since I had the sleeve done and she doesn't know that I did it. I busied myself playing hostess and cooking alot for family, and no one really paid that much attention (much to my relief) what or how much I was eating. I have been thinking about your delimma and I think if it were me, I might tell them that I am working at losing weight (not a lie) and for right now, I am just doing a liquid portion of a diet (also not a lie). Hopefully they will respect your privacy and not pry too much. Keep us posted how it goes.

I have found that eating around other people can be stressful, especially when you are at a restaurant and when your order arrives, you can tell that you will only be able to eat a few bites of it. I have gotten pretty clever at pushing the food around on my plate so it looks like I have eaten more than I have

Try not to worry too much, it will all work out

Kathy

Does Soup work? I've been worried about this issue. I just hate being the center of attention and that was my reason for privacy. I don't want that same issue if we go out to eat. I was planning on getting French Onion Soup or Tomato Soup...something like that where I could actively be eating at least the soup part, even if I push the rest around.

I remember when we moved my sons to college in August (I had my sleeve done in July), my ex-husband and his girlfriend were insistent that we all eat together. We went to a hamburger restaurant called Red Robin and I was freaked out about what to eat - I had this chicken tortilla soup and it went down remarkably well - soup could be a good choice for you. I have also gotten to where I just order something off of the appetizer menu so the serving size isn't so huge. If you have any idea where you are going ahead of time, you might be able to look at the menu online and that could help take some of the panic out of it when you get there.

I had a hiatial hernia repair as well as my sleeve. I didn't tell people about my vsg surgery, but instead when asked about my eating, told them my hernia repair would not allow me to eat for a while. i had to allow it to heal in there first!

Worked like a charm!!

Kellyl

Glad you brought this up. I will be traveling and seeing family during the holidays and I suspect I will be about 4months post-op. I'm hoping I'll be able to eat normal, healthy food at that point? I just want to blend in. Good luck to you!