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Ok, I'm getting banded in August and I have decided to tell only 3 people --- my daughter who is going to take me for the surgery (I have several other kids who would tell the world), my MIL, and a friend who had the surgery, This is my question -- what's my story to my colleagues, friends and family about 1) having surgeryout of work for a few days (gall bladder, "female problem"?; 2) eating differently. I mean -- has anyone had friends or family ask why you are eating blended meat and vegetables or baby food? (Ok, I'm being a little extreme, but really -- some ideas from you closet bandsters would be greatly appreciated)!

Geez, my secretary is the nosiest person in the world -- she'll ask a million questions. And I have some pretty observant friends -- you've never eaten anything green in 3 years -- what's the deal? Uh...I'm just trying to get healthy?!:)

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Check out the thread called "who did you tell?" I saw some really good white lies...like hernia surgery...which would explain the soreness ect, but personally, iIthink gallbladder is the way to go, because that explains why you suddenly have to make changes in your eating habits.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

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WOW, you've lost weight! How did you do it??? Thanks, I've been eating less and exercising more.

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The only issue with the gall bladder thing is that if your gall bladder goes bad in the future (which it seems to do often after quick weight loss), then what do you say? A hiatal hernia, from my understanding, is when part of your stomach is kind of poking up through your diaphram. I think it would be a good explaination.

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When I asked for time off work I just said I was having surgery for "female issues" and wasnt questioned any farther. I told one of my coworkers I was having a some fibroids removed. It is a laproscopic procedure and has the same recovery. (I actually looked it up, lol) When I went to work a week later I was on full liquids and no one questioned me having Soup for lunch. I said the anesthesia had left me nauseous and that my tummy still wasnt 100%.

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At my job, the only people that knew exactly why I was leaving was my manager (who is also my friend) and the owner of the company. As far as everyone else was concerned I was on "vacation".

Outside of work, if anyone asks anything, just say you are trying to eat more healthy. If you go into having had any procedure done, that will bring up more questions.

Remember, just because someone asks does not mean you are obligated to answer if you don't want to. It'll be okay. If you start making up stuff, it becomes harder to cover, plus if you tell someone you had gall bladder surgery or whatever, what will you do when you say that to someone who has also had that procedure and wants to compare notes?

I think it's easier to say as little as possible. But that's just me. :grouphug:

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I wouldn't say its your gaul bladder incase you really do need to have it out in the future. I would say its female and leave it at that.

My neighbor tried like heck to get it out of me b/c she saw me home for 6 weeks. Talk about nosy. It must have killed her that I didn't say what it was LOL.

IMHO, the less people you tell, the better. Then they can't put you under that magnifying glass that alot of them seem to do when your going thru periods where your not losing, or when your eating something they "think" you shouldn't be eating.

Its just none of their bee's wax!

GOOD LUCK !!!

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The "female issues" is a good excuse, but I have one problem.

I am a guy.

Any ideas

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The "female issues" is a good excuse, but I have one problem.

I am a guy.

Any ideas

How about "male issues"? Then let them wonder what exactly male issues are. :grouphug: Seriously, you could use the hernia excuse.

I'm using the female issues excuse with my boss. Can't use the gallbladder excuse since I had mine out 2 years ago. And I agree with the above poster, I wouldn't use gallbladder since there is a very high chance you'll need it out in the future after a big weight loss.

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I requested time off from work (3 days + weekend), Surgery on a Friday, returned to work on Wednesday. I didnt' tell a soul. It was none of their business. As far as they know, I went on a trip (but I didn't even offer that).

Melissa Lea

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Bug,

A hiatal hernia is where the stomach slips through the diaphragm.... therefore your surgery scars/soreness should be in the same place. Most hiatal hernias aren't operated on, but not too many people know that.

Diverticulitis would explain some belly pain and diet changes. (Inflammation of "pouches" that can get created in your intestines) Most people would be placed on cipro for that (for story completeness)

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I agree with Melissa Lea. I felt it was a personal medical issue that I did not need to share with anyone other than 3 people in my immediate family. I am at 6 wks, and the only thing anyone has notice about me that is different is that I have lost weight!!!

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"I have to have a hiatal hernia repaired. The MD says I need to shrink my liver so he/she can do a lap approach to the surgery. To accomplish this, I need to be on a liquid diet for _________ days. After surgery, I need to be on a liquid diet to protect the sutures and allow for healing."

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Thanks for all the great input. I feel a lot better about it now. I think I can deal with it one way or another.

For the guys, I love the "I have some male problems", but I probably wouldn't have the "guts" to say that. I had considered some vague reference to "gastrointenstinal problems" and leave it at that. Hopefully, that sounds yucky enough to keep most people from follow-up questions. If not, I could describe my "symptoms" -- wet farts, uncontrollable diarrhea, etc. That would probably put an end to the conversation fast. LOL.

On an editorial note, it is unfortunate that there are so many people in this world that think it's okay to make extremely personal inquiries into one's life -- whether it be medical, emotional, family, etc. I am a very open person and probably say too much, but even so, there are those who have absolutely no shame about asking me anything.

Oh, well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised -- I haven't gone to the bathroom in my own house without an audience in 16 years (since my first child was born).:grouphug:

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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