Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

UGH....never telling a stranger again!



Recommended Posts

What an unfortunate attitude from someone supposedly dedicated to improving the health of others. Let me guess, she's of normal weight and has absolutely no first hand experience of what it's like to be carrying around 100 extra pounds and feeling the hopelessness of being trapped by the weight. I just love people like that.

I'm very fortunate that the trainers at my Y are supportive of my surgery and dedicated to working with me to get the weight off and build muscle in a safe and proper manner while I heal. I just started back today and everyone from the Zumba instructor to my personal trainer to the trainers I'm chummy with were watching out for me, making sure I was using proper form and protecting my healing ab muscles during class and on the weight machines. I hope you can find a more supportive establishment that is also close to your work.

I agree that this woman is an asshat and probably deserves to own a Curves. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree that this woman is an asshat and probably deserves to own a Curves. ;)

*snerk*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never try to convince people it's not easy -- for several reasons, not least of which is because I have personally found it to be ludicrously easy.

My questions back to these non-thinking 'easy way out'-ers always involve inquiring how much smarter might it be to do that which is both more effective and easier? Is there some particular virtue about doing something the "hard way"?? Good lord, doing things that are clever in terms of outcome and effort is why humans don't live in effing caves anymore. Do people say OMG YOU TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT when you, e.g., choose to send an email instead of climbing a mountain and building a fire with flint and steel and then sending smoke signals??

There is also an underlying inseparable value judgment in the whole 'easy way out' thing -- to wit, "you're a big fat old fatty who has no willpower or self-control or discipline and you therefore deserve to be punished via ineffective starvation diets and weight regain overandoverandoveragain."

To that judgment I say: Piss right off. Go pound sand. At the end of the day, I have clearly chosen the smarter alternative. They can all suck it.

:D

Right. I'm in a bit of a mood today. I am ranting (is this the rant section?), so I hope no one takes it personally. I could also rant about Curves in general, but I will spare everyone my precious opinions. :D

If I were gay, I'd jump your bones. I love you! :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I were gay, I'd jump your bones. I love you! :lol:

LOL! I'm just glad when someone doesn't get completely offended by my soapboxes, but I'll definitely take platonic lust too. :D :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm with everyone else... ALSO, I think you SHOULD continue to go... I mean, yes, you're putting money in the pocket of a virtual hypocrite, but... BUT... you'll be shoving it IN HER FACE that not only was it a great decision for you, but you'll look AMAZING... strut your stuff, girl. Be snobby and rude to HER every time you see her... it'll feel amazing, I bet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So after thinking about it for months, and putting it off, I decided to join Curves (again) and got the support from my surgeon and even a WLS coupon for the sign up fee. This time I chose a location close to my work. The plan is to go on my lunch hour. This will a) keep me from feeling rushed after work and/or coming up with reasons I can't go c) keep me from eating out during lunch and d) keep me from, ahem, shopping too much during lunch. Seemed like a win win win win situation.

I make my sign up appointment, walk in excited, and proceed to fill out the paperwork. One of my questions was if I would need a doctor's note to pause my membership during my first month post op. Well, I should have never said ANYTHING!

The owner(?) proceeded to tell me that she did not support WLS and was going to talk me out of it. Kept saying things like "they are going to cut on you" and "that's just not natural" and "can't you just eat less" and, wait for it, "that's easy way out"!!!! It was all I could do to not get up and walk out of there. She even proceeded to tell me that her overweight son was signed up to have the surgery and she talked him out of it! Seriously?

I got some digs in. Told her the statistics of perminant weight loss with surgery vs. without. Told her that being overweight just "is not natural" either. Told her that anyone that thinks this is the easy way out isn't educatated about the process. And I also told her that she should be ashamed of not supporting her son, that it isn't an overnight decision and it took a lot of courage for him to a) come to that decision and c) confide in her for support.

She said he could lose weight other ways. I said has he? She said no. I said well those other ways aren't exactly working then are they.

I thought about not going back there. But I need this. I need to incorporate regular exercise into my routine.

I think it was good in a way. This surely won't be the last person I come into contact with that disagrees with my decision. And I feel like I held my own and knew the facts and answered back in an educatated and confident way.

I'm just really hoping come July that I prove her wrong!

Anyways the whole point of my rant is.....Isn't Curves for Women supposed to be one of the places that WLS doctors recommend? Maybe the employees need to take some information and/or sensitivity classes!

Since you are going back to the class, next time u go - be prepared........print out a leaflet or take a booklet about VSG and hand it to her to read....tell her to educate herself before she spouts off at the mouth lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would tell her lets do a little survey: lets compare my weight loss success with your other overweight customers who don't have surgery and see who meets their goal.

She's probably worried that people will be successful and stop coming to Curves because they lose the weight with the surgery and don't need it cuz they are busy and active in their life and having fun!!

Don't worry, ignorance is all around us! That was seriously unprofessional of her. She works at Curves and suddenly she's an expert at weight loss. Haha. Funny! How dare she advise you against a medical procedure that even medical drs know we need to be healthier and cure or prevent diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, etc. She's full of herself!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a question, "What IS natural?", I mean the woman at the Curves place brought it up. Let's see we all eat a ton of PROCESSED FOODS, that's not natural. We stuff ourselves with high caloric foods that don't even exist in nature - which is of course not natural. We sit around in climate controlled buildings which is not natural. We don't walk much but instead get around in another climate controlled box called a car, which is not natural either. We join "clubs" and pay for the privilege of exercising to lose weight - which again is not natural. Let's face it we as a species have done very little that is "natural" for a long, long time.

Just forget her, she is an asshat. You did well by not hauling off and whopping her upside the head - which, by the way, WOULD be natural in my book.

And we women certainly NEVER do ANYTHING else un-natural, do we? No special underwear that gives us the look of having more or less of certain areas of our bodies? No plucking eyebrows into elegantly shaped arches? No wearing of makeup? No visits to the tanning salon? No dying our hair? And of course we never do any surgeries except for the direst of life threatening situations, right? Of course we would NEVER RESORT to surgery for merely vanity? I guess all the nip, tucks, Botoxes etc. are for life saving measures.

That women had rocks in her head. I think God gives us a blank piece of paper and a big box of crayons - we get to make the picture that is us anything we d**n well please, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why do total strangers think other people want their unsolicited opinion on personal or private matters? I will never understand that. No matter how much I personally disagree with someone, it is not my place to try and change their minds - or in any way impact their emotional state about their decision. If she disagrees, a simple "Oh, good for you" is a harmless enough way to keep your gob shut.

About it being easy -- you know, I don't have VSG, I have an AGB. I would LOVE for someone to walk into the bathroom while I'm in the middle of chucking up a thick saliva rainbow, after 45 minutes of feeling like someone was running their nails down my spine, and tell me I took the easy way out. It wasn't easy to elect to have my first surgery. There's nothing easy about it.

I've never understood the "easy way" mentality, really. Is it "hard" to diet? Is it any "harder" than having to limit your portions, your foods, and exercise? (And aren't we all doing that?) Are you somehow special because you did it on your own, and are going to have to do it again when the weight comes back? I can't even pretend to understand that sentiment. People who follow that logic should walk my 80 mile roudtrip commute to work, because imma take the easy way out and drive.

You know what else is unnatural? Curves. Truly. Mediocre workout, ridiculous "rituals"... I went there for a few months and they actually wanted people to play spin the bottle, and you give your spinnee a compliment about their body. Umm what? And no thanks, I don't want to ring a bell when I lose every 10 lbs. And I really, really don't want you to trace my foot and stick it on the window every time I lose 12". Can I have my dignity back please?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks so much for your support! I white knuckled it all the way home and ran to my computer to tell my sleeve family.

One thing I forgot is that she kept saying "you're too young". Well thank GOD I'm only 32! Does she want me to spend another 20 years in misery and then do this?

I hate hate hate that! That's what everyone tells me. I'm about to be 31 in 2 weeks. I wonder the ame thing.

@swizzly I LOVE your angle on this!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Swizzly, do they make a doll version of you? Genie in a bottle? Woman, I need some of that!!! hahahahaha

LOL. I'm starting to think there actually might be! Only it's a voodoo doll and it's currently already in use by several of my 'colleagues.' B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×