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Closet Bandster's pt. 2



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I Am Only Choosing To Tell A Few Close Friends At Work About Me Getting The Lapband...there Are A Few Nosey Ones That Have Asked What I Am Doing During My Vacation Time Or Why Am I Taking Off Half A Day Sick Time On A Certain Day...i Have Already Thought All Of This Thru And I Hope That It All Goes As Planned..."i Am Having Something Personal Done, Thanks For Asking" And For Those That Are Going To Try To Keep Up With My Weight Loss And Annoy Me All The Time My Response Will Be "thanks For Asking, But I Am Trying Not To Weigh In Alot So I Only Do My Weigh Ins At The Dr For Now"...of Course There Are Some That Just Wont Understand "going To The Extent Of Actually Having Surgery To Lose Weight"-- I Try To Stand Clear Of Those People Cuz I Just Dont Need The Negative Comments About Me Trying To Improve My Life Anyway That I Can...well, So Far Those Are My Plans...they Are Subject To Change At Anytime

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Only my husband and 2 children (15yrs & 12yrs) know about my upcoming surgery.

Because I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome I'm telling people that I'm going into hospital to have laproscopic surgery on my ovaries.

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Well, I for one more, am feeling better about being a closet 'bandster', having read all your responses.

My parents are both gone and I just don't feel like divulging my surgery to my inlaws. I love them very much, I know they respect me a great deal, but they just don't have to know about my insides and out.

I have chosen to keep this to my husband, a friend who is banded and a friend who I trust and supports me completely.

I have 3 precious children, aged, 6, 8 and 11 who I choose not to tell. I just feel like they are too young. I have kept our meals clean and so far all are all thin, very healthy and they get a lot of exercise. If one day I feel like they would benefit from my experience, then I will tell them. I also had breast reduction surgery. I really didn't think my children would benefit from knowing that either. Again, if in the future any of my kids would benefit from such information, I will be more than happy to share.

I don't work outside of the home, so I can't see too many people questioning me, pointedly. And quite honestly, I can't understand why people are so darned nosey.

I am not keeping this to myself to be deceptive, I am just a very private person and this is my journey.

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I feel like most, it's no one's business. I've had people to ask me what have you done to lose the weight and I tell them there is no secret, you must eat less and move your body. I watch what I eat and I go to the gym 5/6 days a week.

The weight loss has been slow so most people are just starting to notice the weight lost. Well it's been over a year now and 83lbs later for people to notice, are they blind or what!! Anyway, I had no thought of telling anyone other than my immediate family and the rest, to bad.

Last thing, surgery is a very private thing, why would you need to tell them what it's for? It's none of their business. Don't feel bad about not sharing your business. Since you husband is in politics that all the more reason to keep you surgery to yourself.

Don't feel bad or feel like you owe anyone other than your husband anything, he is the one that will be sticking with you and cheering you on. The others will properly be waiting on you to fail, not all but most.

Good Luck!

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Thanks so much.. I keep coming back here to read all the replys and I feel so much stronger about what I am. :)

Good luck to everyone else who is going through the "closet' with me. In the end, we may not tell many people but we all have each other for support. :P

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I've still only told my close family and 2 close friends. I just don't want people to scrutinize me and what I eat. It is something I did for myself, not for anyone else.

:o Kristin

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I started out determined to keep it a total secret. So far I've told: 2 friends, husband, and my Dad and his wife. Even that many people feels like a lot. But no one at work knows, including my brother who I work with. And my Mom and her husband don't know. That's pretty huge for me. But really, I'm just choosing to avoid the judgement of the naysayers or the people who might poilce my every move.

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Be careful who you tell, I only told my coworkers (i work in a drs office), and 5 close family members. Now all of my coworkers are paranoid over everything that i do and eat, and let alone if i have an episode. My grandmother who was ok w/ my moms bypass is totally on my case every day about food and tons of other problems.

my excuse for the sx is a laparoscopy for ovarian cysts and endometriosis. I currently had the diagnosis and already had 2 sx for it, and everyone feel for it!!! I just told them my ovaries were a little worse than usual and the dr had to make 4 incisions, and no one sees under my bra so theyll never know. :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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