I'm a private person and my weight I believe is my problem. Problem is.... my family thinks its their business. I don't live near my family but see them about twice a year. How do I NOT tell them I've had surgery when they see the significant weight loss I'm going to have? I don't really want to outright lie, but once one person knows then everyone on Facebook will know.... that is no one can keep a secret in my family and they feel they have the right to tell everyone they run into the family gossip.

Now some you may wonder if I am ashamed of the surgery and the answer is delicate. I just don't want the negativity. I know the surgery is the best thing for me and if I had some decent family and friends I could trust then I'd shout it to the world about how skinny I'm trying to become.

I think I'd like to say I went on a high Protein diet, lowered my calories and started exercising.... all true. Some I suppose will guess and talk about it behind my back, some will be direct and come straight out and ask me and that's where I get scared and want to tell them its none of their business.

Any feedback on this sensitive subject would be appreciated, no negativity please! Thanks!

Not everyone who may be supportive after surgery; is that way before.

Basically when it comes to surgery and you have 90 lbs to lose, people will always tell you to do it "naturally" with diet and exercise. What about the bad knees that dont allow exercise beyond a certain point and then there is age... esp. in case of women of my age 49 yrs...

The weight just does not budge. And rather than eating all sorts of 'hoodia', chemicals and drugs and still not lose, I felt vsg was the best and cleanest things I could do.

Maybe 90 lbs does not seem like a lot when you have double that to lose, but as anyone who has battled weight can tell you it gets tougher as you go down.

So after that rather long venting session back there... I think I will decide whom I should tell..

Lots of great comments on this topic. Here are some things I have found to be helpful.

First, I told people at work I was having surgery for a hernia (which is true. My surgeon took care of an hiatal hernia at the same time I was sleeved.). That solved the problem of explaining my absence from work.

As for the people around me, I preempt lots of comments by volunteering the information that I just lost 20 lbs with a low fat, high Protein, high exercise diet. That's true, except that it was lots more than 20 lbs and the sleeve helped me follow the program. But it is better to say you are following a diet program than feed their curiosity by saying nothing.

My last comment is to remind everyone that VSG does not remove fat, it only helps control appetite. So ultimately, it's the good decision making and discipline of the VSG recipient to cut back on fat, sugars and calories, not the surgery, that produces the result. We all should pat ourselves on the back for enduring a bit of hell to make weight loss successful.

Good luck to all of you!

I still haven't told any of my in laws...that's my choice. They have seen me up and down before, so this time is no different. Yeah they asked me, and I said I have seriously cut the portions down BIG time (and that is the truth lol). No one needs to know details. I'm sorry to say this, but those that are talkers are going to talk about you/us no matter what, that's just the way it is, trust me, so go with what you feel is right for you, and don't worry about anyone else...THIS IS YOUR LIFE