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One Week to Go... and I'm thinking of Chickening OUt



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I get why your husband is upset, he feels left out. Even if he never comes around on this issue you have to decide just how bad you want change. Sure I tried telling myself a few times, hey you have lost 50 pounds already you can do this, but then I told myself the truth. If I could do it without surgery I would not be fat right now.

I had to remind myself many times of the real effects of the weight on my health, pre diabetic, back and knee pain, high cholesterol and High blood pressure. Sure it is a LOT more comforting to tell myself I can do this alone and at my pace, but I know where that thinking has gotten me all these years.

Now for the pain and nausea your are scared of,,,I just came home from the hospital today and I did not get sick once, every time I felt ill I told the nurse and they were right there with the shot for nausea. As for the pain, sure there is pain as with any surgical procedure. It sounds like I had more than most folks, but I was at a hospital and the minute I told them I needed something and they brought it. It was never uncontrolled. I still have pain now that I am home, but I have the liquid vicodin for it and it is not forever. I look at this way No pain, no gain.

For a few days of pain I will gain health and and nice looking body.

Dear Myori:

Thank you for your wondeful message of encouragement. You were RIGHT!!! I wasn't hardly nauseous at all.. only right after surgery, and they gave me something immediately any time I said I felt sick. Not since. The pain was minimal... so little that I accused my doctor of NOT really doing surgery on me!!

And you are so right about feeling better after a few days. My entire outlook on LIFE has changed. I feel positive and strong and like the world is my oyster.... I am NOT going to dwell on the fact that I have spent the first half of my life FAT and pathetic.. I am only going to look forward to my future.

Right now, I feel like I could be anybody I want to be.... this is the BEST gift I could have given myself.

Happy Christmas! Cinderella

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Your husband is being a dick. Period. You are not a liar, it IS your body and you can decide for yourself what you want and need, you don't need anybody's approval, esp a husband who has an issue with the surgery, not you. Do NOT let anybody eff with your mind, it's hard enough to arrive at this decision without others putting in their 2 cents of which they know nothing about.

Dear TNTRANSPLANT:

I was re-reading old posts and just had to update you. I think your post is the best oe, it's so true, so honest. And wanted to let you know that I did go ahead and barrel through with my plan, arranged my own transportation and hired a woman to "check me out" of the hospital and so forth.... and it was all SO SO worth it.

For one thing, I think that in a way, my "cussed independance" caused my husband to look at me in a new way, as my own person who doesn't crumple in a heap if he disapproves, and is willing to fight for what I want. That's good for both of us!!

But I have to tell you something funny.... now, three weeks out and 20 pounds lighter, all the sudden my husband is making comments like, "HEY, where'd your butt go? You have a flat rear end now." and... "Wow, you look GREAT today.." so his mind is opening up a little bit. He is starting to ask questions about my diet and things like that. Water under the bridge I know, but I do believe that you can't hold grudges and be happy, so I'm willing to overlook his BAD BEHAVIOR in this situation. But I am SURE GLAD that I stood him down and got my sleeve!

Thanks, and happy Christmas!

Cinderella

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Dear TNTRANSPLANT:

I was re-reading old posts and just had to update you. I think your post is the best oe, it's so true, so honest. And wanted to let you know that I did go ahead and barrel through with my plan, arranged my own transportation and hired a woman to "check me out" of the hospital and so forth.... and it was all SO SO worth it.

For one thing, I think that in a way, my "cussed independance" caused my husband to look at me in a new way, as my own person who doesn't crumple in a heap if he disapproves, and is willing to fight for what I want. That's good for both of us!!

But I have to tell you something funny.... now, three weeks out and 20 pounds lighter, all the sudden my husband is making comments like, "HEY, where'd your butt go? You have a flat rear end now." and... "Wow, you look GREAT today.." so his mind is opening up a little bit. He is starting to ask questions about my diet and things like that. Water under the bridge I know, but I do believe that you can't hold grudges and be happy, so I'm willing to overlook his BAD BEHAVIOR in this situation. But I am SURE GLAD that I stood him down and got my sleeve!

Thanks, and happy Christmas!

Cinderella

Cinderella...you ROCK girl! Congratulations on believing in yourself and moving forward with your decision. Others who are on the fence should read this post and see your turnaround. It's really amazing to see the difference in tone in the postings at the beginning of this thread to the ones post-surgery. Even your font is excited...hahaha. CONGRATULATIONS again and I'm so glad your hubby's attitude has improved.

Laura ;)

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As I was reading from the beginning of your post, now down to this section, I was getting angrier and angrier...until I hit the update! WHOOOHOOO. I'm so proud of you for going ahead and getting the sleeve. You are very, very brave, and I'm so glad you took control of YOUR life this way. You're husband loves you, this I know. He's just scared of CHANGE. Change in your attitude, sexiness and self assurance. How will YOUR choice effect his lifestyle. This is just the way most men think, then they come around, and realize that "hey, it's not so bad", and they fall into step with you and once again, you "jive".

Congratulations on making your brave choice. I could hug you!!!

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    • Doughgurl

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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