Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

My Mom is considering the sleeve...



Recommended Posts

Hello everyone,

First of all, I am super stoked about my surgery! I am truly, madly and deeply head over heels with my new tummy!!! LOL Sounds weird I know - but dangit, my life has been given back to me. I'm no longer a slave to my brain overindulging and my stomach being able to allow it. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone...

Anyway over the weekend my Mom told me she would need a magnifying glass soon just to be able to find me. Haha! I thought that was hilarious. She's so happy for me, and super proud of me in that I had the guts to do something so invasive to take my life back.

Well in that same conversation she told me she's thinking about it now for herself. She never once said that to me when I had my band - even when I was in the losing phase. I'd lost about 60 Lbs in a short 4-5 Months (then it stopped but that's a whole other topic) So, I'm not so sure why this time she feels differently. Maybe she seen me struggling more than I remember myself with my band. I mean if I seen someone choking on their food everytime they ate just to lose a Lb a week I don't think I'd want the band either. But I digress...

Anyway, I immediately told her "Great!!!" and I truly meant it. I told her that I really honestly felt like I'm losing a great deal of weight and I'm not even doing anything for it. I'm not doing my workouts like I normally do even... so I can imagine how much I will once I get back into my routine full time.

However, here's the thing... as the day drew on I started to remember what I went through for the first few days, then the entire month of my surgery. I started to feel true and genuine worry for her. My Mom is going to be 61 years old in March - and she has worse Hypertension than myself and she is borderline Diabetic. My Mom would also likely have a surgeon I've never heard of because she is a Kaiser patient. She would go through her insurance.

I am a little bit scared for her, and I will definitely go through with this WITH her and support her. However I won't lie, I'm scared for her very much. I guess I just needed to vent a little bit... I would feel so guilty if anything went wrong because I was her motivation for doing this surgery.

*sigh* Oh well, now I know how it felt for her, no? :-(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's normal to be more worried for other people than for yourself! My mother is obese and has changed her views on the VSG 180 degrees since I got it. It went from "YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ON THE OPERATING TABLE IN MEXICO AND YOUR LIFELESS BODY WILL BE DISMEMBERED AND FED TO DOGS" to constant questioning about how much weight I've lost and compliments on my recent photos. She lives far away and this winter will be the first time I travel there and see her in 1.5 years. I'm starting to suspect she might become interested in getting this surgery, and when I imagine that possibility, I also feel quite worried about her. She's also become hypertensive lately, even though she exercises regularly and while she's obese, I venture her BMI is only in the 34-35 range (same as mine before the surgery), so for someone who's not even 50 yet, it's a bit worrisome. But then I think of 2 important things: 1) the sicker the obese or overweight individual, the more they are going to benefit from losing weight 2) my mother's gone through 2 childbirths, mine being very difficult, and did just fine in the end, so I'm sure she'd handle a laproscopic surgery done by an experienced surgeon such as Dr. Aceves at a top-notch facility.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had this surgery two weeks after my 55th birthday. I had diabetes that I took two insulins and an oral med for, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, asthma, fibromyalgia, IBS, etc. etc. etc. I felt about 80. Since surgery I take no meds for diabetes or blood pressure and feel younger than I have in years. Not only will I live longer without the co-morbidities, I will ENJOY that longer life!

My son wanted to have the surgery as soon as I mentioned I was going to have it and I did worry more for him. I think it is because we know what we ourselves can handle but have no idea the strengths within our loved ones. If my kids worried about the outcome of my surgery, they never mentioned it and I appreciated that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Diva, I have to agree... the fact that she has such high BP and borderline diabetic is all the more reason!! She has years and years left of a wonderful life to live. That being said, I'm sure you are scared, and I think you have every right to feel all of those feelings! Take it one day at a time!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 63. Had surgery end of June when I was 62. I weighed (and still do) a lot more than your mom although I don't have diabetes or hypertension. I did fine. Dr told me I did better than many of his younger patients. I agree with the statements above. Its scary to contemplate surgery but its scary to contemplate a life with hypertension and diabetes. I wanted to hsve my life back. 60 isn't that ancient and hopefully those of us having surgeries will have lengthened our lives by 10 or more years. I had considered bypass but did decide at my age the sleeve with fewer complications would be more prudent. Even though I don't feel old. :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Studies show that this surgery is very safe for older people. The risks are considered very low for the over 60 crowd.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks sooo much for all of your replies and wonderful advice. My Mom needs to lose *maybe* 80 Lbs. I'm sure she'll barely qualify, if even so. We'll see, but like I said, I'll definitely support her decision regardless of how I feel inside. :) I just worry for her...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It went from "YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ON THE OPERATING TABLE IN Mexico AND YOUR LIFELESS BODY WILL BE DISMEMBERED AND FED TO DOGS"

Oh, ho, ho, ho :D :D :D

That was the funniest thing I've read in a while...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, ho, ho, ho :D :D :D

That was the funniest thing I've read in a while...

An exact quote, no less. Was said the day I flew to Mexicali...good thing Dr. Aceves' staff gives you Ativan the night before, I certainly needed one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I just received an update from my Mom. Her Dr. replied to her email and said that her BMI is only a 36, and is only classified with ONE Co-Morbidity of High Blood Pressure. They do not consider borderline diabetes as a Co-Morb apparently.

So she'll either have to work out more (believe me, I'm not just saying this - she does need to do this) and watch what she's eating better (this too...) - or - and as I suggested to her already, pay to have it done. There's no doubt who I'll suggest for her... LOL :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Irene.... i just wat to add. My mom had the VGS Feb 2010. she was 62 at the time of surgery. she has done fabulous and has lost 85-90 lbs. She struggled with her weight all her life. she loves her sleeve. her hypertension is improved and i believe she is off her medications. It was so inspiring to see her become healthier and more mobil. she has increase energy. I love that she took action so that she will live a much longer and healthier life with me and my children. i am super excited for all of her successes. i want to join her on the looser's bench. Hoping for my VGS in Jan 2011 with Dr Aceves.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello everyone,

First of all, I am super stoked about my surgery! I am truly, madly and deeply head over heels with my new tummy!!! LOL Sounds weird I know - but dangit, my life has been given back to me. I'm no longer a slave to my brain overindulging and my stomach being able to allow it. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone...

Anyway over the weekend my Mom told me she would need a magnifying glass soon just to be able to find me. Haha! I thought that was hilarious. She's so happy for me, and super proud of me in that I had the guts to do something so invasive to take my life back.

Well in that same conversation she told me she's thinking about it now for herself. She never once said that to me when I had my band - even when I was in the losing phase. I'd lost about 60 Lbs in a short 4-5 Months (then it stopped but that's a whole other topic) So, I'm not so sure why this time she feels differently. Maybe she seen me struggling more than I remember myself with my band. I mean if I seen someone choking on their food everytime they ate just to lose a Lb a week I don't think I'd want the band either. But I digress...

Anyway, I immediately told her "Great!!!" and I truly meant it. I told her that I really honestly felt like I'm losing a great deal of weight and I'm not even doing anything for it. I'm not doing my workouts like I normally do even... so I can imagine how much I will once I get back into my routine full time.

However, here's the thing... as the day drew on I started to remember what I went through for the first few days, then the entire month of my surgery. I started to feel true and genuine worry for her. My Mom is going to be 61 years old in March - and she has worse Hypertension than myself and she is borderline Diabetic. My Mom would also likely have a surgeon I've never heard of because she is a Kaiser patient. She would go through her insurance.

I am a little bit scared for her, and I will definitely go through with this WITH her and support her. However I won't lie, I'm scared for her very much. I guess I just needed to vent a little bit... I would feel so guilty if anything went wrong because I was her motivation for doing this surgery.

*sigh* Oh well, now I know how it felt for her, no? :-(

There is a very good chance that her medical problems will improve with surgery and this surgery, with a good physician, is safe. My PCP told me to find a doctor that has the "Center of Excellence" stamp of approval, which I did and someone I was comfortable with...which I did. Will her insurance cover the procedure? If so, they may insist that she find a Center of Excellence and have a list of doctors that fall into that catagory. Doctors ALWAYS have that on their page, so there is no question about it. There is always concern, but this would be a great tool to your mom's weight loss and in turn, her improved health over all. Congrats to YOU!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is a very good chance that her medical problems will improve with surgery and this surgery, with a good physician, is safe. My PCP told me to find a doctor that has the "Center of Excellence" stamp of approval, which I did and someone I was comfortable with...which I did. Will her insurance cover the procedure? If so, they may insist that she find a Center of Excellence and have a list of doctors that fall into that catagory. Doctors ALWAYS have that on their page, so there is no question about it. There is always concern, but this would be a great tool to your mom's weight loss and in turn, her improved health over all. Congrats to YOU!!!!

Thanks!! My Mom is actually with Kaiser so if she does get it -- it would be with whoever they choose for her. Most likely would be out of Richmond, CA. Right now her PCP is saying no because her BMI is only 36 and she would need 2 co-morbs.

Does anyone know if they consider High Cholesterol as a Co-Morb? I would think so....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had mine out of Richmond with the head of the department Dr. Fisher. He is the one who brought the sleeve to Kaiser. Before this they only offered the band and the RnY.

Everyone there was great. My father-in-law is now going to classes at Richmond. He is 65 with multiple co-morbidities. I am excited for his future.

So. good luck to mom! :lol:

9da290ab8c301ec.gif">

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×