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negative people


lckygrl
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i'm having surgery november 26, and i'm so excited, but it just seems there are certain people that only want to be negative and it's starting to make me second guess my decision can somebody please help me and give me some advice!!!!!!

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Well lucky, personally there isn't much you can do to change anyone else - luckily though you CAN change yourself.

You have to take a good look inside and ask yourself why you feel that someone else's opinion is enough to make you change your mind. You need to make sure you are absolutely ready for this, whether or not anyone else is. This is a very major decision, not one to take lightly enough that someone else can change you.

If you are absolutely sure then that this is the right choice for you, then just ignore what anyone has to say. If it gets too much then just keep your plans to yourself. Everyone you know doesn't have to know everything. Keep it to those who have a vested interest in your health, anyone else - you are just opening doors that really need be left shut, IMO.

All the best!

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i'm having surgery november 26, and i'm so excited, but it just seems there are certain people that only want to be negative and it's starting to make me second guess my decision can somebody please help me and give me some advice!!!!!!

People are going to be negative regardless of what you do. My husband know about the surgery and some of my girlfriends. I have one friend that I have not decided on telling her or not telling her. She is supportative but only to a certain level. As far as my family, that is probably going to be an after the fact only because I have enough to worry with the surgery and I do not need them to tell me that I am wasting my time or money (I am a self pay as my insurance will not cover it).

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Well lucky, personally there isn't much you can do to change anyone else - luckily though you CAN change yourself.

You have to take a good look inside and ask yourself why you feel that someone else's opinion is enough to make you change your mind. You need to make sure you are absolutely ready for this, whether or not anyone else is. This is a very major decision, not one to take lightly enough that someone else can change you.

If you are absolutely sure then that this is the right choice for you, then just ignore what anyone has to say. If it gets too much then just keep your plans to yourself. Everyone you know doesn't have to know everything. Keep it to those who have a vested interest in your health, anyone else - you are just opening doors that really need be left shut, IMO.

All the best!

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Well lucky, personally there isn't much you can do to change anyone else - luckily though you CAN change yourself.

You have to take a good look inside and ask yourself why you feel that someone else's opinion is enough to make you change your mind. You need to make sure you are absolutely ready for this, whether or not anyone else is. This is a very major decision, not one to take lightly enough that someone else can change you.

If you are absolutely sure then that this is the right choice for you, then just ignore what anyone has to say. If it gets too much then just keep your plans to yourself. Everyone you know doesn't have to know everything. Keep it to those who have a vested interest in your health, anyone else - you are just opening doors that really need be left shut, IMO.

All the best!

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did you have the sleeve done? your advice is great and i appreciate the positive attitude you have, i'm totally ready for the surgery, it just gets so frustrating when people are so negative(especially when it's your parent's!!!) i try so hard to ignore them but they just won't lay off and keep telling me how it's not reversable and blahblahblah, LOL, my husband, friends and other family members are so excited for me i think that's what the hardest part is because my parents are not, my mom had the bypass 11 years ago so she believes that that is the one i should do, but i don't so that mskes me wrong for having my own idea!!!

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did you have the sleeve done? your advice is great and i appreciate the positive attitude you have, i'm totally ready for the surgery, it just gets so frustrating when people are so negative(especially when it's your parent's!!!) i try so hard to ignore them but they just won't lay off and keep telling me how it's not reversable and blahblahblah, LOL, my husband, friends and other family members are so excited for me i think that's what the hardest part is because my parents are not, my mom had the bypass 11 years ago so she believes that that is the one i should do, but i don't so that mskes me wrong for having my own idea!!!

Yes, I did have my sleeve done on Sept. 15th and was revised from the Lap Band - so this is my second go round.

Lucky, if I were in your shoes, I'd just have to sit down with my parents and tell them that the reason you let them know is because you are their daughter and felt they should know - however, it's your body and you are going to do what YOU feel is best for YOU.

If they can't be supportive then to please keep their opinions to themselves.

I know it's easier said than done, but for your own sanity it just might need to be done. I believe in time they will come around. Hugs!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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