Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What did I do to myself?



Recommended Posts

I still feel like I had this surgery for the wrong reasons, like I was pushed into it due to having to move cross country w/o a support system there, hubby already took the time off, we already got the loan, didn't know if we would get the $5k we had already paid back, etc...

I've kept a happy face as long as I can. Today I feel like shit and I'm deeply depressed. I've been in bed all day. They apparently used betadine which I am allergic to to prep me and I have a rash all over my stomach (I told them and had it on my Bracelet I was allergic) that is driving me nuts, along with a husband asking what's the matter?

I'm really mad at myself for being pushed into something like this. I told the OR staff I had changed my mind but they didn't stop, they just knocked me out and continued.

Back to bed I go... day 5 or 6 or whatever freaking day this is sucks. I can't believe I did this to myself. :001_tongue:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

That sucks that you're having reasons to regret. That's pretty irresponsible of them to not notice the betadine warning or your instructions to stop. I hope you feel better. For what it's worth, I have similar feelings from time to time--they mostly happen when I miss my old eating habbits or my old menu (like a whole large pizza in one sitting). The almost 70 pounds I've lost, and the way my old clothes fall off me helps me get over it, though!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you're feeling upset. It's definitely not a light decision to have this surgery. The OR staff should've definitely stopped as soon as you told them to stop - it's not an emergency surgery and you were sentient at the moment, so they should've obeyed your instructions. I guess there's no way to go back now, though, so you just have to focus on the positives. I'm not having the cleanest recovery (several episodes of severe nausea, dizziness, etc that led to a trip to the ER and the like), but I just don't dwell on the negative stuff. I remember how I felt BEFORE the surgery - completely out of control with my eating and powerless - and realize things are better now, even though there are a few bumps in the road to recovery. The allergy will clear up soon enough, don't worry about it. It's too bad that the staff was disrespectful of your desires and didn't use an alternative to betadine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I can not remember how many times during the first 5 days post op I asked the same question. I think it is normal. It will get better but if it doesn't talk to your surgeon. Are you getting enough fluids in Protein in?

Nancy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can almost guarantee you in a few months you will be singing a whole new tune.

I think what you're feeling is normal...it seems a lot of people feel that way in the first few days/weeks post op.

But once those lbs start dropping off and you're feeling more yourself, you're going to be very happy.

Just take it one day at a time and before you know it, you'll be feeling much better.

Hang in there girl...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have heard that some people get depressed for a while afterwards, mainly because of the adjustment to their eating habits. Keep your chin up and think about how much better you're gonna feel about yourself and you can do this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sending you a hug *squish* hang in there!! If all of these wonderful people on the board can do this, you can too!! I am cheering for you! :001_tongue:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some tough love: You signed an informed consent for the surgery, and once you are given a sedative of any kind, just a shot, even if you are still conscious--you can't change your mind after that point--you agreed to that in writing.

I think you need to take responsibility for the decision that you made when not under the influence and not blame others. Listen to what people here have said about post-op depression and focus on getting yourself healthy and happy. Don't you think losing weight is going to be a good thing? Don't waste time looking back at what you can't change, and don't give in to the urge to find someone else to blame. You jumped through a lot of hoops to get this done---look forward not back. I've only lost 40 lbs and my life has changed already, at 6 weeks. Chin up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As far as your allergy, they made a big mistake. But, when it comes to changing your mind in the OR, they can't do that. You have usually been given a sedative of some sort before they put you under, so they didn't have a choice but to go through with it.

Lots of people have buyers remorse after WLS, I was one of them. You can't change what has been done. But, you can make the best of it.

You now have a fabulous tool for weight loss. Your life can change dramatically for the better. You have probably added 15 years to your life.

Try to look forward and make the best of it. I wish you the very best.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Carrie,

You definitely need a big hug. I wish I could give it to you in person. But, just know that we are here for you.

Those first weeks after surgery are an emotional and physical roller coaster. Some people are fortunate to breeze right through it, but most don't. Your body is recovering from major trauma and your homones are raging.

Just tell your husband that you honestly don't know what is wrong, but you just need his support. A hug when you ask for it and space when you need it. And, come out here and rant, scream, cry, and get it out of your system. We are here for you & we've been there/done that & know exactly what you are going through.

And goodlife is right ... in a few months, you will be so glad you made this decision!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Carrie, I undersand how you feel I am only 13 days post op and still have bouts of depression. The first week I would cry for no reason at all. They call it Post Surgery Depression. Its caused from the Anesthesia. The second week has been better. Now I just get a little depressed because everyone around me is eating yummy food and I just watch. I cant promise it will be better because I not at that happy point yet. I am just greatful I can go to these post and find people who understand me. I hope you feel better soon.

Edited by christina@MIA

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone. I ended up going with Hubby and the kids shoe shopping. Then I ended up in a really neat store in Plano (DFW area) that buys and resells handbags, so I ended up with a new Black Leather Coach purse for $100. Now I'm home and too exhausted to switch purses, maybe tomorrow.

When will my energy return? When will I poop again? When will I feel like I'm going to survice this? Even though I've had Lap Band I imagine my stomach rotting away with a bunch of other unwanted stomach and then think of the fact I can't eat it's just too much for me to deal with. :thumbup1:

-Carrie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Being almost 5 months post-op (in one week) I can tell you, you are not alone in this "what did I do to myself" syndrome. We go through it because of the stress that the surgery put upon our bodies, the emotional issues that we have to face because of 'gluttony' withdrawal, and the 'food' (and I use that word loosely) that we are left to eat newly postop.

You will have many episodes of depression, each one from a different issue, but I can tell you first hand....when you start going to your closet and your clothes are too big for you, when you can feel bones that you haven't felt in years, when people say "You look great"...it will make this all worthwhile.

Sorry about the rash, I agree, they should have checked the Bracelet. But I'm wondering, how did you even get to wear the bracelet (even medical) in the operating room. I had papers that asked if I had any allergies to any medications. So sorry you have to go through the rash, but happy that you have met your first bout of depression to recover from our disease.

Hang in there.....:thumbup1:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is why one of the many prescriptions I had to fill the day before surgery included one for lorazapam, an anti-anxiety medication. When My surgeon gave me the scrips I thought that was odd, why would I need an anti-anxiety med? Three days after surgery I found out - weeping and freaking out with major buyer's remorse, thank goodness for the lorazapam! By following a strict regimen of drugs and positive thinking in the first week I was able to get over it and now when occasionally the enormity of what I've done "occurs" to me, I just try to move on, spilt milk and all that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Carrie, sorry you are feeling low. I think they incinerate stomach bits BTW so don't stress the rotting thing. Concentrate on the fact that you still have the good bit of your stomach there and you will be able to eat soon, it will get better but you will not be able to really pig out any more. Also at the moment you still have residual general anaesthetic drugs in your system which will make you depressed and weepy, so just roll with the punches and don't expect too much of yourself. Focus on the substantial health benefits you will get over the next few months for this transitory bit of misery now. I wish I could give you a big hug too.

Jane x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×