Hello everyone,

My name is Anissa. I'm having surgery on August 18, 2010. I'm looking for some sleeve buddies. Is there somewhere specific on the website where I need to go find them or am I already in the right place? LOL.

OK, so like most other pre-opers, I'm nervous! I keep wondering what will my babies think if I don't wake up? Will they be mad at me when they're old enough to understand what happened? Ugh! I know I shouldn't worry. I have a very good surgeon. But I'm still very nervous. Thankfully, my hubby is a rock. I'm lucky to have him.

Hi, Im guess Im your sleeve buddy. I am also Aug 18th. I understand the type of things that are going through your head. I even put it down on paper for my husband in case something went wrong. From where he would find the life ins papers to who gets what. Im a little crazy I think. I wonder if anyone else has done this?

Hi Anissa!

Congrats, you're almost there! Where are you having your surgery? I've definitely had similar thoughts-- especially ones about "not waking up." My boyfriend actually had gastric bypass 2 years ago and I asked him how he dealt with those thoughts. He said "the way I saw it, I was already dying." It's morbid I know, but it made me feel better somehow. This isn't something small, it's not something you're doing lightly or flippantly. You're doing it to get a new life really, and I don't think anyone would be angry at you for that.

@Christina, thanks for being my buddy! LOL. I look forward to cheering you on through the process. One of the cool things is that I've got the same goal as you (145). And no, I don't think you're crazy for writing those things down, you're prepared. Have you thought of maybe leaving a love note there, too? I think I'm going to work on that this weekend. I went for my pre-op appointment with the anestheseologist (sp?) yesterday and they gave me info on a living will. I need to look that over too.

@ teh ericka, you're right. I need to keep remembering why I'm doing this surgery. I keep looking at my babies and wondering what would life be like for them if I wasn't here. Instead, I've got to look at them and keep remembering how great life is going to be for them WITH me here. I'm going to have more energy to play with them. I can look forward to being around for them well into my old age and theirs! God-willing, my high blood pressure is going to be gone, I won't have such a high risk of getting diabetes, my sleep apnea will probably go away. All that leads to better energy which makes everything better. When are you going to be sleeved?

@Christina, thanks for being my buddy! LOL. I look forward to cheering you on through the process. One of the cool things is that I've got the same goal as you (145). And no, I don't think you're crazy for writing those things down, you're prepared. Have you thought of maybe leaving a love note there, too? I think I'm going to work on that this weekend. I went for my pre-op appointment with the anestheseologist (sp?) yesterday and they gave me info on a living will. I need to look that over too.

@ teh ericka, you're right. I need to keep remembering why I'm doing this surgery. I keep looking at my babies and wondering what would life be like for them if I wasn't here. Instead, I've got to look at them and keep remembering how great life is going to be for them WITH me here. I'm going to have more energy to play with them. I can look forward to being around for them well into my old age and theirs! God-willing, my high blood pressure is going to be gone, I won't have such a high risk of getting diabetes, my sleep apnea will probably go away. All that leads to better energy which makes everything better. When are you going to be sleeved?

Anissa, That is such a sweet idea. Have you started your pre-op diet? Im going to start on Sat. I also set an appt with the head Dr. I just know how I am and I think it will help me with my relationship break up with food. I asked my husband if it was going to be weired me not eating when he is. He said he is going to try to cut down on his portions. He is Military and works out everyday but love his Snacks. I think this new way of life will be good for my kids in the way I am not going to cook as many carbs. CHEERS TO US!

The doc wants me to just do high protein/low carb for now and then I start my clear liquid diet on Tuesday. I've been doing more Protein, but not necessarily less carb.

I really felt like I was going nuts the last couple of days. I've been wanting to eat every sweet I can get my hands on. I was wondering what was wrong, I've never been one to gorge. I've normally spread my Snacks throughout the day, that's how I got like this. But I was wanting to eat everything in sight, even looking for excuses to go out so I could get a coke through the drive-thru. Then yesterday morning I started my cycle. It dawned on me last night that maybe that was part of why I've been wanting to binge. Still weird, though, because the need had never been that strong before.

My hubby and I had a heart to heart the other night after I saw (another) YouTube Vlog about relationship changes after weight loss surgery. We talked about what kind of changes I might go through and I asked him what would make him feel uncomfortable. It was a great talk and we're even going to sit down and talk to some friends of ours that are married. She had weight loss surgery three years ago. We just want to talk to them about the changes too and see how they handled them.

My hubby and I had a heart to heart the other night after I saw (another) YouTube Vlog about relationship changes after weight loss surgery. We talked about what kind of changes I might go through and I asked him what would make him feel uncomfortable. It was a great talk and we're even going to sit down and talk to some friends of ours that are married. She had weight loss surgery three years ago. We just want to talk to them about the changes too and see how they handled them.

That's really great. Would you mind posting a few of these videos? My boyfriend keeps making comments like "once you see how great you look you'll realize I'm not good enough for you" and I think we could both use some reassurance.

@teh Ericka,

Since the videos aren't mine, I don't know if I can post them. Plus, I don't think these particular videos would make your boyfriend feel any better. Some of the relationships changed for the worse. You can check out my vlog, MrsAniJO100 if you want, though. Check out the people that I subscribe to. I especially like Kellawanda. On a video she posted yesterday or the day before she touched on relationship changes just a little bit and what she said was positive and realistic.

I think the problems come up when you lose focus on why you have had/or are having the surgery. We've got to be realistic with our expectations and constantly check our motives throughout the process. Or at least, that's the conclusion I've come to. I don't say that to be judgemental of anyone's journey. I've just been watching the vlogs to see if there are any red lights and things that I can watch out for. I really recommend them. They've been very helpful to me.

One of the cool things about the YouTube vlogs is that you can see videos of people from before they got their surgeries through to where they are now. Some of them are at goal and have been maintaining for a while.

I've also been following Kellawanda. I'll have to check out the new ones. My husband keeps making little comments that people tell him i'll leave him after I have this done. And points out my aunt left my uncle after having the bypass done. I just tell him if he is treating me right he has nothing to worry about. He doesnt show much affection. This has been an on going problem. I think sometimes this surgery has an effect on our spouse because they fear us finding our confidence.

My date is a few weeks out. I originally had the Lap Band back in 2005 and went from 297lbs at surgery down to the 160's. My husband and I had been married for 4 years at that time and we had our first child who had just turned 10 months old. About 6 months after I had my band put in my husband had his put in. He lost 20 pounds to this day. At this time we are both banded. I'm consistantly in the 220's and he is over 350lbs. He has promised me if I am successful and happy with this surgery he will follow me again and have the sleeve done. We didn't have any problems with me being "successful" with the band and especially with him not being successful. We have since had another baby, so we have two kids under the age of 5 and intead of weight loss, we are much more concerned about the health we have and our ability to provide our babies with a happy and active childhood. He loved me fat, he loved me thin, he loves me fat again. I think if your connection is more than just physical and at a deep enough level then it will last. I'm not a person who goes out, I have my babies at home and I have the rest of my life to go "out" but my babies won't be babies forever. That's just my experience with the weight loss and our relationship. I wish you guys the best.

Carrie - That was beautifully said. I absolutely agree with you.

Yes. Well said.