Two and a Half Weeks Out and I Miss My Friend!

[Brian66 85]

I was sleeved on July 13th and I am doing well. I am down about 23 lbs since the surgery and I generally feel really great. The one thing I am struggling with a bit is a sense of sadness that I cannot eat the things I have always enjoyed in the amounts I have always loved. I really don't have any physical hunger, but I have come to realize what a huge part of my life food has been. I was telling my sister-in-law about it today and she said -- "It's like you've lost a friend" and that really struck home for me. For a long time (probably as long as I can remember) - food has been where I have turned to calm myself down, cheer myself up, comfort me when I felt lonely or sad, Celebrate when I was happy. This has been especially true in the last three years as I've coped with the death of my wife from cancer and raising my three kids on my own. I never really focused on the psychological side of my eating -- always sort of viewed myself as just a big guy who just plain loved to eat. Now I am beginning to understand that it is has been much more complicated than that for a lot of years.

The good news is that with the sleeve, there is no going back for me and I physically can't go back to eating the way I ate before. Of course, my rational self tells me that eating the old way was how I got into this position in the first place, so I need to face this sense of sadness and loss and move on. I guess that really is the beauty of the sleeve. If I was on any sort of diet, I am sure I would give up as I faced these sort of uncomfortable issues and go back to my poor eating habits.

Thanks for listening and for all the support as we make this journey together!

Brian:confused1:

[Maddie 9]

I was the same way, for me it was like "breaking up". It left me with some sadness, but it does get better.

[CraftyChristie 62]

It's good that you are beginning to realize this. I was lucky enough to start facing my emotional eating through therapy about 6 months BEFORE having surgery so I haven't really felt this loss... I went through that mourning process way before surgery and I feel so much freedom and at this point i LOVE being able to eat so little and be satisfied. I dont' miss pigging out. I love not feeling stuffed and sick.

Just keep working through these feelings and you will get there! I had ONE almost-emotional eating experience post op but managed to recognize and avoid it and haven't had anything like that since. Also I'm so sorry to hear about your wife

[sunshinegirl64 0]

I am almost the same time frame as you-7/16 and I have been feeling like this for several days in addition to being in a "stall"! I know it is early in the game and I am sure probably everyone goes through it but it is hard.

Thanks for posting your struggles and I hope we both will get over mourning our "friend".

I also seem really bored as I realized how much of my time was spent eating. Eventually all of my energy will return and I will find more productive ways to spend my days but that has been really the worst part of my journey. I feel so restless, anyone else feel that way?

[Carrie 4]

I'm sure you hear this all the time, but let me start by saying you are an awesome parent to know you needed this surgery to be there for your babies. ((((HUGS)))) to you on that.

With that being said, I currently have the Lap Band that I am having LOADS of problems with. My husband also has the band and has lost 20 pounds in 5 years, he can still eat the "old way". I believe once I recover he too will convert to this surgery once our insurance decides it's cheaper than all the problems associated with the Band or RNY.

As far as your food issues. What really helped me when I was going through my "withdrawals" from food was to really tell mysel that "The Colonel", "pizza, pizza Dude", "The Golden Arches and all of them had done me WRONG. Basically they were all slowly killing me and taking me away from my friends and family. Why would I stay with a friend who continually hurt me physically? I wouldn't and neither would you. So if food is your friend then why would it hurt you so much? I understand correctly eating food isn't like alcohol or drugs or cigarettes you have to eat to live. But that's just it, you eat to live not live to eat. They did surgery on your tummy not your head. And until you get to a point and you will that you realize all the awesome benefits you get from giving up the beast that has hurt you so badly over the years you will feel this way.

You've lost 23 pounds so far which is amazing. Your ticker says you want to lose 95 more pounds. I would be willing to bet within the next few months you will be almost half way to the remaining goal of 95 pounds. Write down a list of things that you want to do that has nothing to do with your scale weight. Such as taking your kiddos on a roller coaster, fiting into a regular airline seat w/o an extention, bending over to tie a shoe without feeling like you can't breathe, etc. Basically write out all your Non-Scale Victories and put that on your refigerator. When you start "missing" food look at the chart and by all means mark through each goal as you achieve it. Doing that will keep you motivated. As a single parent I would be willing to bet if it came down to doing something for the kids or yourself the kids would win everytime! Well you are doing this for yourself but also for your KIDS. They will have an even more awesome and interactive dad than they have ever had. You developing a closer relationship with your kids will fill the "void" you my feel without that extra food.

YOU CAN DO THIS. You may also want to write down a list of everything you hate about being obese. This will give you an actual list of how your old friend aka food has "done you wrong". Perhaps this will make you miss it all the less.

Another suggestion is to take up a new hobby or two that has absolutely NOTHING to do with food. Also when you go to visit folks, be there for the company, NOT the food. You are there for adult interaction, not whatever is there to eat. That's a hard one I had problems with that one for a long time because nobody ever serves others nasty food. lol.

Take care my friend and remember you are never alone here. I sincerely wish you and yours the best.

[Brian66 85]

Carrie,

Thanks for the words of encourgagement. Of course, what you have written makes absolute sense and I really like some of your suggestions. I guess what has really surprised me about this journey is the psychological aspect of eating far less than I am used to eating. During the pre-op phase, I was asked time and time again - by the psychologist and the nutritionist - "Are you really ready to change your life?" Of course, my answer was always an unequivocal "Yes" and I absolutely meant it. There was not a doubt in my mind and I was (still am) willing to do anything to get rid of this weight once and for all. The part that I did not anticipate was the struggle between what I want to eat and what I can eat. Intellectually, I know that is exactly what makes the sleeve such great tool, but I am still learning to work within its restrictions and to find the right balance of learning to know what I feel satisfied instead of full. I sort of feel like "feeling satisfied" is a new concept to me and not one that I am familiar with when it comes to eating.

Anyway, I am beginning to understand how to use this tool and I am grateful to have this forum to come to. My surgeon also offers a support group and I am looking forward to attending my first session later this month.

Good luck to you.

Thanks again,

Brian

[Carrie 4]

You can do it! You've lasted 30 pounds, make it to 40 pounds, then 50. Do it in 10 pound increments that way you make you goal frequently. That made me feel great and successfull. :sad0:

Best of luck,

Carrie

[SouthernSleever 236]

No words of wisdom here but I can understand where you are coming from <<<Hugs>>>