Having second thoughts

texaschick · May 13, 2010

I am not sure if this is really what I want to do. When I read on here about what people can and cannot eat, the foamies, pain etc...I think "what the heck am I doing?" Why can't I do it the "right way"?

It seems like the only people on here are the people thinking about having the surgery, people waiting to have the surgery, or people that are rockin' or at least workin' their sleeve. Where are all of the other people? What about the ones that weren't able to lose much? The ones that are nutritionally deprived now? The ones that absolutely hate the sleeve?

I think deep down, I don't want to give up my love affair with food. I love shopping for it, cooking it, and eating it. I will definitely need to channel all of that somewhere else.....

Just rumbling and ranting and looking for reassurances.

kalew · May 13, 2010

I have my surgery Monday and I do know how you feel. I just met with the dietician today and it is really a life change. She said everyone pretty much looses weight the first year, if you start exercising and continue to watch what you eat you will keep the weight off. You can streach out your sleeve if you continue to cram food in and it doesn't make you sick. If I could do this diet without the sleeve I would do it. I have tried everything and it just comes back on within a year, I know I didn't stick with it. But that is why I am where I am and needing this surgery. This will be a great tool for me to use to make the necessary life changes. I am 57 yr old and the excess weight is really affecting my health. All the weight bearing joints hurt, I'm becoming diabetic, my cholesterol is up. It's a downward spiral, I need to stop it, now! You may not be there yet, you can't undo a sleeve so you really need to be sure before you go ahead.

texaschick · May 13, 2010

I am so afraid that this isn't going to work like all of the diets I have been on in the past and that when I am old I won't be able to get enough nutrition in. I have seen so many people gain back their weight after losing it with the lap band. How is this so much different?

JillianMarie · May 13, 2010

I am also having surgery on Monday. I have tried everything in the entire world and am a completely desperate point. Obviously i wouldn't be having them permanantly remove most of my stomach if that wasn't the case. But think about this, the way you have been living, the misery, unhappiness, the yo-yo dieting, the shame and embarrassment, i have been hiding for years. I am willing to give up being able to give up being able to eat normal amounts of food to just live a normal life. I just want to be happy again, and unfortunately i'm having to take a drastic measure. But on the bright side, there is an answer and a solution, and this is it. However i am scared to death and nervous as hell!!!

lavonwarrior · May 13, 2010

I am scheduled for the 25th, and I too am scared to death and nervous as Hell! After I met with the dietitian, it became very "real". However, the alternative is not appealing. I have a neighbor that had it done 3 years ago, and she has NEVER regretted her decision. I see her and I want that feeling. I am a much happier person when I don't feel ashamed or feel the need to hide. I am just trying to stay positive on pre-opt diet to be sure I do everything the Dr. instructed. Each person has their reasons and concerns, and each one is valid.

As for how this is different to the lap band, I can't speak from experience. However, I can tell you what made me shy away from the experience. It is now permanent. I did not want something that I would constantly have to go to the doctor for fills and that could be removed one day. I know I need something that would last forever. I am tired of yo-yo dieting, and I can't wait til I get through the recovery period.

I wish you all the best in your search for the answer and we are all here to support you with whatever decision you have made.

Robbiehage · May 13, 2010

I am not sure if this is really what I want to do. When I read on here about what people can and cannot eat, the foamies, pain etc...I think "what the heck am I doing?" Why can't I do it the "right way"?
I could have written this post 9 weeks ago (8 weeks out yesterday) I just wanted so badly to do it the "right way" but I've been overweight for 42 years and I finally realized it was not going to happen without this surgery. For the first few days after having surgery I swore I would not recommend it to anyone (even though I had about as few problems/pain etc as you can have) about a week afterward I felt so much better. Now I LOVE my sleeve, I feel SO much better after losing 43 lbs, I'm working out and today at work everyone kept talking about how much weight I have lost (fun). The thing about the sleeve is you finally have some control and can lose the weight. The information I got from this site was invaluble to me in making my decision, wishing you the best!

Maddie · May 13, 2010

I have had the same thoughts and fears as you. I have cried (literally) over the fact that I will give up my current relationship with food. It's like breaking up.

But, I had to step back and look at the big picture. I'm 53 yrs old, and I feel like I'm 20 yrs older. I have several health issues, but the ones that are directly related to my weight are: elevated cholesterol, a fatty liver, obstructive sleep apnea, joint pain, high blood pressure. Not to mention the fact that I can't get proper treatment for my back because I can't stand up long enough to do physical therapy due to my weight.

So, what choice do I have? Really? Do I hang on to food and live a restricted life and then die way too young? or... Do I take this opportunity to lose weight, get healthy and take control of my life. It's a no brainer.

I know this is difficult, but you are being offered a way out. The choice is yours. I hope you find the answer you are looking for.

lmmore · May 13, 2010

You're scared. Understood. It works. Understand that.

Swiftflow · May 13, 2010

If food is something that gives you comfort or that mentally you link to happy events then there will be some pain and remorse in giving it up. I was ready to give this up to finally succeed in this area of my life--BUT that does not mean it has not hurt to do that. I have sat and cried realizing I could never be the same again, it may seem silly to some but food has been a major part of my life for so long. You have to be completely ready to change your relationship with food as you are now realizing. It is a good thing that you are coming to this reality now--now you can make the decision based on the knowledge of what you are really giving up. Of course you are trading up to a better lifestyle in my opinion, but you are not choosing this lightly there is a cost.

Best of luck to you in your decision--we are here to help support you!

JillianMarie · May 13, 2010

Being 4 days pre-op, i am also thinking very hard about coping with breaking the relationship with food. I discussed with my Dad earlier about what I am going to do when i am having anxiety, depressed, stressed, etc... as for 10 years i have turned to food to medicate my feelings and numb the pain... and i will no longer be able to do that. I am wondering... what WILL i do when i am in those circumstances? I have no idea right now, and it's very scary. I'm going to start therapy soon, which will help, but the 2 weeks immediately after surgery i'm on my own and it will be hard. What is even harder, is the fact that i am hiding this from my sister and my mother, as they would not agree with my decision right now. Down the road, the would. But right now, as my sister puts it, "surgery is not going to FIX your eating disorder". Clearly she does not understand.

Tiffykins · May 13, 2010

It is a huge change, and I have had one big episode of buyer's remorse with not being able to eat huge amounts of really fabulous food.

It was Thanksgiving, and I ate my tiny little portions of just about everything. And, that means, about 1-2 bites of all the different stuff.

I was finished, and I sat there and watched my in-laws, my husband, and other friends just eat all this yummy goodness, and I was furious. I excused myself from the table, and went outside to pout. I was out there, walking around, literally kicking rocks in the driveway, telling myself how absolutely stupid I was to do this to myself. My husband came out after I had been out there a bit, and he was so confused. He wanted to know what was wrong, so I told him. His response" you know you can have more later." But it didn't matter, I wanted it right there. I told him to let me be, and he went back inside. I stayed outside for awhile, and when I went in, I saw everyone in their food induced comas, some of them changed in to stretchy pants, and I actually felt been good physically. It was right then that I realized missing that huge portion of my stomach, and not having the physical capabilities to do that to myself and my body was actually pretty liberating. I finally felt in control, it was one of the biggest "ah ha" moments I've ever had throughout this journey.

I can honestly tell you that if you follow the program, and stay positive you'll lose weight and keep it off. You'll be able to change the way you look at food. You may have to not eat certain things for awhile. I had to cut carbs way down, and now I can have them without issue because now it's just food to get me through the day. I don't obsess about my next meal anymore. Removing that hunger really helped as well. I can't convince you this is the "right" thing to do, but I can tell you that it does work. I've only had a couple episodes of the foamies, and it's totally preventable by paying attention to your body.

I've not read of anyone that is nutritional deprived with the sleeve. Even the research I did on gastrectomies for cancer and ulcer patients, as long they weren't undergoing other treatment, most were living very healthy, fulfilling lives.

If your program offers any type of support group or counseling, take full advantage of it. You will be able to find people that battle the same thoughts, and be able to find new coping skills that will distract you from the obsession of food.

Best wishes, but don't sell yourself short on this one. It's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

JillianMarie · May 13, 2010

What are the foamies? I've heard of a few people mention that word... kinda scary! :/

ouroborous · May 13, 2010

I went through a LOT of misgivings and second thoughts before I finally got the surgery done on the 6th.

I can't specifically address your emotional relationship to food, but I can address the malnutrition aspect -- you won't have any problem. The first few weeks are challenging, since your stomach is still swollen, and you're still learning how to eat. But after that, it gets much easier. My girlfriend, who was sleeved in November of last year (so, only about 6 months ago) can now pretty much eat anything she wants, just slowly and in small portions. Isn't that about the perfect solution for weight loss?

Yes, you'll need to be careful with nutrition and hydration, simply because you'll be consuming a lot less food. And one specific issue (B12) is super important. But really, is taking Multivitamins THAT much of a burden? Compare it to what you'd go through if you had a heart attack or developed diabetes or cancer.

You talk about losing weight "the right way" -- by this, I assume you mean through diet and exercise. Yes, it is possible to lose enormous amounts of weight through diet and exercise. Most sleevers, from what I understand, already HAVE lost a lot of weight through diet and exercise, and gained it back. That's the kicker -- they gained the weight bcak... that's always the catch. You can lose the weight, but very, very VERY few people are successful at losing weight and keeping it off through diet and exercise alone. The figure is around 5% -- 1 in 20.

When you do the math and consider the known health costs of obesity, consider how very few people can lose the weight and keep it off "the right way," and realize that even though lap sleeve is relatively new, the studies show that it's very likely to become the "gold standard" in weight loss surgery, it just makes sense.

None of this makes the fear go away, of course, but it should help you to realize that you're making a smart choice. A rational choice. The RIGHT choice.

ouroborous · May 13, 2010

What are the foamies? I've heard of a few people mention that word... kinda scary! :/

I think that's another word for "sliming."

If you've ever vomited, do you know how your mouth fills up with saliva beforehand? That's "sliming" -- it's that mouth-watering feeling that you're about to throw up, just without the throwing up itself (hopefully).

It's unpleasant, but not the end of the world, and it's definitely a good wakeup call that you're overdoing it!

JillianMarie · May 13, 2010

oh gosh i know exactly what you are talking about, recently i have overeaten on a few occasions to a point where all of a sudden i got very nauseous and my mouth just filled with saliva. I never threw up but swore i was about to. Wow well then i will know to take it VERY slow and not test my luck because that is the WORST feeling in the world!!!