Need some third party opinions/advice

[TennJenn 9]

I had my VSG 7-7-09 so I am almost 9 months post op. I started at 201 & my goal weight was 135. I reached that goal by 6 months. I now weigh anywhere between 127-130. I'm actually trying to get to 125, but not stressing over it.

Anyway, my current dilemma is that several people have told me (some to my face, others behind my back to my Dad) that I've lost too much weight & should NOT lose anymore. One even told my step-mom "don't let her lose anymore weight!"...like she controls my weight loss...So, I'm asking for your opinions/advice. I am 5'4 and my current BMI is around 22, I think. I don't have any recent photos (the last one was about 20 lbs ago or more). Does anyone else go through this?

It's weird b/c I still feel fat. I still have days where I could swear that I'm still 200 lbs...even though I KNOW I'm not. This just threw me for a loop b/c I still see my body as fat. I never guessed others would think I was getting too skinny. :biggrin0:

[Tiffykins 673]

I've had a slew of comments recently from "loved ones". The most profound one was from my mother and brother stating "You're looking like an Ethiopian child". NICE

Others have been "if you lose anymore weight, you'll look like a bobblehead doll", "really, you looked better fat at least your wrinkles were plumped out." "you can totally tell that you aren't naturally thin" "you aren't taking care of yourself because no one can eat 1500 calories and look as good as you do" " you're probably starving yourself or throwing up to stay skinny because you're scared of getting fat"

Yeppers those are the worse ones I can think of right now. I simply tell them that I appreciate their backhanded compliments, and when they become a licensed medical doctor, and bariatric specialist then they can comment on my health. Until then, they can shut the F up and go on about their day.

I still grab XL top even though I wear a small to medium. I did it today at Old Navy, and the saleslady just laughed at me and said "umm try a medium in that dress". I did and surprisingly it fit perfectly.

I went from 270 to 127-130 on any given day and I'm only 5'2". I'm trying like crazy to maintain as I do not want to lose anymore weight not because of the comments, but because it's where I'm comfortable in my own skin. I have told everyone that my medical team from my PCM to my surgeon monitors my labs carefully, and I'm feeling great. Their comments still hurt, and even really make me just want to keep myself hidden from them because I don't want to hear the craptastic comments.

I don't have any great advice because I let them say their 2cents, and chalk it up to just that about 2cents worth of crap.

[FreeToBeMe 2]

I can't believe how callous and rude those comments are! I am sort of amazed how freely friends and family discuss my appearance to my face. They specify body parts. It can get too invasive. I realize there are major changes but I still appreciate discreetness in compliments.

[determined1 3]

ugh people!! love ' craptastic ' thats funny right there!! lol

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Have you heard of body dysmorphic (sp?)disorder? It's when you're at a healthy weight but still see yourself as fat.

Anyway, I think your body will stabilize at a weight it's happy with. As long as you don't feel like you're starving yourself and you're eating healthy, you're doing fine!

[wannalise 15]

I could be wrong, but there are some people who are just comfortable with who we are and changes to us are threatening. I am only a few days post op but I had a friend want to hang out with me TONS before surgery and she finally said "its because our friendship will never be the same." As long as you being healthy and following the advice of your medical posse then screw everyone else.

[TennJenn 9]

Thanks, guys. I know I'm not the only one that has to deal with these issues. It's nice to have someone to talk to about it all. It's a crazy ride, that's for sure. I do feel that I'm at a healthy weight. I eat healthy (most of the time :001_smile:). I don't restrict anything really. I enjoy treats, etc in moderation.

Yes, I've heard of body dysmorphic disorder...I need to google that a bit more. I do feel thin some days, but some days I feel just like I did before surgery. Like this Sat when I wore shorts for the first time in years. I don't know why, but it made me very self concious about my body. Hello... they were size 6! I should have felt thin & great in them, but I felt, well, fat. I don't know...it's hard to wrap my head around it all. Thanks for letting me vent!