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Sexuality and the sleeve



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Susan, if this is inappropriate, please remove. But I do have a question that I am sure others may have experienced and/or dealt with.

Without trying to sound like some horny toad guy that is having an ungodly amount of testosterone or Viagra running through his system, has anyone else noticed an increased libido with the loss of weight and a thinning of the body? I swear to goodness, I feel more like I did as teen the more weight I lose. I mean, things seem to work better and there is so much less getting in the way.

I know that I felt so unsexy and unworthy of physical encounters, but as I lose weight it feels like I have a lot of lost time to make up and stuff to do.

Once again, sorry if this is tacky, but it has been on my mind quite a bit lately.

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I don't find it tacky or inappropriate at all Bob - I think you posted it quite tactfully. In response to your question; yes, both Bearded and I have noticed that things are different (in a very nice way) now that we have both lost weight and are getting thinner. I don't know if it's an increase in libido, or just the fact that we feel better about our bodies and have more energy because there's less fat and our self-esteem has improved as each pound comes off. Those are my thoughts -- I am sure Bearded will have more to post once he reads this thread as well. Interested to hear others take on the issue.

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I don't think it's inappropriate at all.

I haven't had any sexual relations in over 6 months now. My husband hasn't even seen me since I've dropped 75lbs, and I can't wait to see how our sex life improves. Believe me, our sex life was always enjoyable, but now I'm more comfortable with my body, and really ready to fully enjoy intimate moments with my husband.

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Bob, there is nothing inappropriate here. I agree, I think when we are heavier, we lack confidence in the way we look and how we feel about ourselves. Therefore, we are uncomfortable with sex. We also just don't have the energy.

As the weight starts coming off, we start gaining more energy, compliments are coming in from people about how good we look and our self confidence and image of ourselves improves greatly. And, lets face it, when one is morbidly obese, you can be very limited in terms of, well, I guess the best way to say it is moves. Now, without all that excess weight, we can experiment a bit more and in general, find the whole act to be a heck of a lot more enjoyable.

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I think it's very inappropriate! Just kidding. I am not getting any since I don't have a bf at the moment so NO FAIR!

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Bob, there is nothing inappropriate here. I agree, I think when we are heavier, we lack confidence in the way we look and how we feel about ourselves. Therefore, we are uncomfortable with sex. We also just don't have the energy.

As the weight starts coming off, we start gaining more energy, compliments are coming in from people about how good we look and our self confidence and image of ourselves improves greatly. And, lets face it, when one is morbidly obese, you can be very limited in terms of, well, I guess the best way to say it is moves. Now, without all that excess weight, we can experiment a bit more and in general, find the whole act to be a heck of a lot more enjoyable.

I have a very handsome normal sized husband, he has been very patient with me, because he knows how ugly I feel being so FAT. He also knows when I feel good about myself, our sex life improves drastcially. So he is 100% suportive of my surgery. I look forward to the time when that part of my life is the way it should be. Right now I just feel like a slug, very unsexy, very unattractive. I KNOW, once the weight comes off EVEYRTHING will change in that dept.:001_tongue:

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Since this thread popped back up, and the husband has been home almost a month, I thought I would update.

All I have to say is, "HELLO Stamina, where did you come from?" I used to get very "tired or winded" and now that problem has completely disappeared. My confidence behind closed doors has hit an all time. I haven't EVER, and I mean EVER had sex at my current weight so I wasn't sure what to expect. Least to say, it's been nothing short of fabulous. I'll also throw out there that since I've lost so much bulky belly fat, and my general "roundness", positions that were never remotely possible before are now not only possible, but pleasurable.

I didn't really think that my weight loss would effect our sex life to this degree. I'm not even overly self-conscious of the extra skin, and general "flabbiness" that I have right now because everything else is so amazing. Losing this weight has seriously been the best thing in the world to ever happen to me. I never knew what all would change.

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oh tiffykins don't brag! hehehe . . . it's normal to feel weirded out when it comes to having intimacy when your hugh. . .I hate it. . . I have a normal sized husband too who (I think) never outgrew his teenage years in that way? (But then you know what they say about island men) anyhow, I hate the fact there he is and there I am. Clucky and sweaty and ugly. . . but he loves me as I am, and will even when I'm thin. . . his thing is he wants me around for a long time and not die from this obesity. . he is so sweet!

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Do these right wing bigots listen to themselves? Really. One does not have to think about it for more than a second before you realize that they idea that gays “wear sexuality on your sleeve” and heteros don’t (or are they saying that it’s ok for heteros to be “out” because their orientation is “better?”) is absolutely ridiculous.

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Seriously. WTF are you talking about??

[edit] Never mind....I see what you're about.

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Seriously. WTF are you talking about??

[edit] Never mind....I see what you're about.

LOL I thought the same exact damn thing when I noticed replies to other threads ha ha ha. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head.

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I have definitely noticed a difference in my libido! My hormones are raging. I am almost always horny! Its can be very distracting. Also, I thing that now that I have lost 100lbs my cycle is regulating itself and I can pinpoint ovulation based on how amorous I feel.

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Yep, like clockwork (haha), a few days before my cycle I am makin' eyes at every Y chrom in humping distance. =P We had a thread like this in the Ladies Room and it was explained to me that fat cells store estrogen so as we lose rapidly, we are flooded rapidly, and one of the perks of that is being, well, really dang horny!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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