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How Are You Going To Meet Your Maker ?



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This is warped !!!

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/

Here's mine:

After you rudely push your way through a crowded line at the zoo, a large, angry man picks you up and throws you over a guardrail into the bear pit. Being only minutes before feeding time, you are quickly devoured by the hungry beasts.

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A disgruntled cook at the local bar and grill poisons your food. You suffer in agony for days until the poison eventually kills you.

Hmmmmmmm... death by food! What was I thinking eating that crap at a bar and grill? LOL.

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While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.

Hahaha.....such great friends....

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This is warped !!!

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/

Here's mine:

After you rudely push your way through a crowded line at the zoo, a large, angry man picks you up and throws you over a guardrail into the bear pit. Being only minutes before feeding time, you are quickly devoured by the hungry beasts.

LOL OMG this is funny! BTW, isn't being quickly devoured better than being slowly savored? lolololol funny funny funny.

Mine said: While walking near a construction site, an open box of nails is dropped from several hundred feet above your head. You are impaled by hundreds of rapidly-falling nails, turning you into a human sieve.

Great, I'm gonna get nailed!

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While sunbathing in your yard, a commercial airliner accidentally unloads its waste tank. You are impaled by several spears of frozen urine which fall from 30,000 feet above you.

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told.jpg You are blown to smithereens when your fun loving co-worker fills a whoopee cushion with nitroglycerin.

Hm.. I always said that co-worker was a pain in the ass.

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While in a batting cage, you're struck in the chest by a baseball. You enter cardiac arrest and die within minutes.

Guess I won't be going into any batting cages in the future!

Mr. Yoda's:

While scarfing down dinner, a large chunk of your meal becomes enlodged in your throat, and you choke to death.

I keep telling him to slow down!!

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A deranged cook at a Chinese restaurant attacks you violently with a meat cleaver after you complain about your meal.

No more Chinese food for moi!

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I'm scared. Mine is evil it says: my son who is sick of being overdisciplined attacks me in my sleep with a knife and stabs me repeatedly. Charming. My son has ADHD and I feel like I am always all over him. This rings a little too true! Gee thanks for sharing NJChick -- can I sleep at your house tonight?

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While crossing what is typically a very quiet street, you're struck by a speeding motorist and are killed instantly

This sucks! The first few were kind of funny, the last couple aren't. Good thing I learned to look both ways.

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A tormented street mime beats you to death with an "unimaginary" cane.

That would be an interesting way to go.

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A disgruntled sandwich shop employee puts a razor blade onto your sandwich. The razor deeply cuts your mouth and tongue numerous times, and you nervously choke to death on your own blood

Well, I knew there was a reason why I dont like sandwiches.

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A large icicle falls from above your head, cracking your skull. While unconscious, you bleed to death slowly. I'm glad i live in TEXAS. LOL

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Here is mine:

An amputee overhears you as you snicker and make jokes about him. Enraged, he beats you to death with his prosthetic leg.

whats funny is my mom has an amputed leg.... I better not make jokes about it huh. lol

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After suffering with a severe headache for days, the aneurysm in your brain bursts, killing you instantly.

Yikes.. :)

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    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
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    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
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    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
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