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Tell him to make it a permanent break - if he can't believe you, knowing you as he does, then he's not the man for you -- let it go and move on Daisy ... you don't need someone like that in your life to bring you down - you're better off alone and you will find the right person ... so let him go.

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coming to vegas is sounding better and better. I need out of this town. what is the latest you can pick me up at the airport?

if I came on a thurs. what would I do while you're at work fri. I can't stand the thought of flying on a fri and a sun. I hate flying

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It doesn't matter what time you get in - I'll be there to pick you up. As for Friday- Bob works from home so am sure he could take a day off and play tour guide or something ... I could probably work extra hours M T W Th and take off early on Friday too ... we'd figure it all out.

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oh good. tomorrow when I am not so depressed, I am going to find some cheap airfare one way or another

I'd rather fly on thurs. and leave sun. I have to drive 100 mi to the airport, so it won't be all that early when I get there

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He should know you well enough to know that you would not do something as juvenile to make a rude comment on a social networking site. In my opinion, it sounds like he just needs space, and if he is easily swayed by other family members then he isn't ready to be in a relationship with anyone.

His mind can only be poisoned if he allows it to happen.

I know it hurts Daisy, but truthfully do you want to sit around and wait for him to figure things out. I've always said " I'd rather be alone, and content, then be with someone who makes me miserable."

You really have to decide what is best for you and your wants/needs. Don't settle for less than everything you want just to be with someone.

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Daisy, I agree 100% with Vegas and Tiffy. If he is going to let a supposed comment on Facebook, that he hasn't seen for himself, come between you and him, then he isn't worth the time of day. Especially if he can't discuss it and work through something as minor as that in a mature manner.

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As a woman who has let relationships overlap a few times my best advice is to resolve one before starting another. It is only fair to the other person. Trying to have two going at once does not work. Trust me on this.

If you are not happy in the relationship, leave, end it. I know that seems simplistic but I learned so long ago from an abusive relationship that life is too short to waste it on people who don't respect and love us. You will cry, you will hurt, but there is an ending I promise and you will find someone who loves you for who you are right now, not what you will be later, or were years ago. You will not be alone forever. I wasn't.

If the man from FB does not want to meet with you after seeing your picture then the relationship was not meant to be. You did not meet his ideal partner criteria. That does NOT mean you will not meet someone elses criteria.

I think our self esteem gets so low when we are heavy we get into the accept what I can get mentality. That is wrong. You are worth it! Move past the ones who are shallow and find one who will love you for you! I personaly would not want to be with a man who is only worried about my looks. What if I am disfigured in a car accident or burned? Will he leave me? I know my husband wouldn't. You will find that prince too.

Huggs

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I am really depressed at the moment. Could use some words of wisdom.

Bill and I talked after work and he is very upset because he thinks I said something mean about his daughter in law on face book, which I didn't . He knows me better than that. He should know I would not do something mean like that on purpose.

He wants to "take a break" until he gets to Phoenix next month to talk things over with his daughter in law and son.

I didn't do a damn thing but they are poisoning his mind.

I wrote my earlier post before I read the whole thread (my bad).

Wait what? He wants to take a break until he can talk what over with his daughter in law and son? Is this still about the supposed mean comment?

I think he wants out and doesn't have the balls to do it. Save him the trouble and tell him the break is forever.

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I once spent 5 years without a signal date. It was lonely. And it is exactly what I needed to finally have a good and healthy relationship. Don't get me wrong, you don't need to spend 5 years alone to achieve the same thing, but you need to be alone until you love yourself and someone elses screwed up behavior doesn't bring you down.

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You never know how many men have passed you by just because they know you are in a relationship.

There were many women that I may have been interested in, if they weren't already dating that I never asked out, just because they were dating someone. I just flat out wouldn't even consider it.

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Jaffa, you are a good guy!!

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Relationships are hard. The thing that bothers me the most is that I thought he knew me better than that. He should know I would not say anything mean about his son or daughter in law because I know how much they mean to him.

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He sounds like a big baby. Why does he have to talk to them? Is he then going to come back and say "but they said.." then when you counter what they said, say "well, let me check with them" and then go back and forth forever???

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Well I hope VegasAngel was serious about wanting some company, cause I just bought a plane ticket. I am very excited. It's been years since I have been to vegas.

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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