A little perspective...

[GoingforGoal 1,734]

Good Morning fellow bansters,

In light of some recent posts, I felt compelled to start a discussion on LBT forums and what you can expect.

At large, there are 3 phases to wls. The initial research preop phase, the postop losing phase, and the maintenance phase. Within each of these groups, you will find like-minded and not so like-minded individuals who are here to share their experiences and their story. Most of us speak to our level of experience. Anyone with over one year of being banded is probably the most qualified to give advice, however, anyone can contribute. Some individuals have additional experiences and knowledge sets unique to them which can serve us as a lbt community. Examples include those who have had complications, those with medical training/education etc. There's also those who have limited knowledge/experience, but yet still want to support and guide those with even lesser knowledge and experience and to reinforce their own learning.

When you post to the LBT community, you will get a wealth of information in response. However, some of the responses can be terse, irrational, unfounded, misguiding or simply confusing/contradictory to other responses. It is your responsibility to gather all the information and determine what is appropriate to make an independent decision on vs something that should be discussed with your physician. It is also your responsibility to determine who is misleading you and not. This is not a medical resource center, you are speaking to individuals of different levels of education and experience with the band. This is true for emotional vs educational posts as well. Some responses are supportive, some are keeping you accountable, some seem understanding and some seem accusatory. Sort of like real life right? No one is monitored here. You can speak freely without being overtly offensive. However, negative feedback is sometimes warranted. In order to grow in your journey, honesty is best. It will hopefully help you thwart negative behaviors and instill good ones to ensure success. Please do not expect positive support all the time. Tough love has it's place and is exercised on occasion.

Now, this post is also to address accountability. And I wish to take this from a 'oldies' perspective opposed to a newbies perspective. You will come across many 'oldies' who have had their bands for years. We deliberately come to the lbt site for continual support in our maintenance phase, but also to help newbies with a wide spectrum of needs ranging from general understanding of the band as a mechanism to how to live day in and day out with their bands. Most of the topics discussed on lbt is repetitive. The answers become more and more concrete as everyone becomes more educated on the rationale for the answers given. But there are times when a person's post can simply be a huge red flag. The response to these type posts typically become terse real quick..and here is why:

1. We wish to educate wls patients and want to prevent unsafe posts from serving as educational posts for others in the learning process. It only takes one poor post to misguide an individual in their journey. Bandsters will do anything they can to negate the wrong information simply to inform and educate.

2. We want everyone to realize that there are very real consequences to not following band rules. Too many people are becoming too lax with their rules and it's resulting in terrible complications that could be prevented. Posts that hilite poor band habits can also yield terse comments. This comes from an angle of accountability. The worse thing we can do is allow someone to leave feeling as if their decision was a small mistake, no big deal, nothing to worry about..its ok, you'll do better tomorrow. Let me reemphasize the very real consequences of these decisions and who has to live with those complications. It serves us better when we receive honest feedback that helps us adjust our mentalities and behaviors for the better. Support posts are great for those down and out days, not the posts where someone has identified a behavior that could put their life at real risk.

It is very easy to receive negative or honest feedback as an insult. But please realize, most of the posts come from a place of understanding and support. We are very scared for people who seemingly have very little knowledge yet have a band. It's a scary combination. For those banded for years, you see the same repetitive mistakes and ultimately complications and/or failures. We are here to support you through this process with refreshment of the band rules, tricks to the trade, and support you through obstacles. We do our best to provide you accurate information and some of us (raising hand) have spent over an hour researching information for fellow bandsters to ensure they get the right information.

Somehow this gets convoluted into others perceiving this feedback as "rude, cyber-bullying, offensive, unsupportive" etc. I think if you invested in reaching out to some of these oldie bandsters and knowing their experiences, how much they contribute, the typical responses they offer..you'd be pleasantly surprised that these are some of the most caring and supportive individuals investing a lot of their personal time for your benefit alone.

Being apart of this community, for myself, has been both rewarding and infuriating at times. As an RN I see people post inaccurate medical information all the time and it's simply irresponsible. Please refrain from 'educating' people by saying things like "I heard" "I think" "It might be". If you do not know the answer for certain than please refrain from answering at all. The forums are a wonderful way to communicate and get quick responses. But don't feel compelled to answer all of them if you cannot contribute a safe and accurate piece of information. But by all means, if you have the answer, help your fellow bandsters so they can make wise decisions or become better eduated in their band and the band lifestyle.

Thank you for listening. Wishing everyone a safe and successful journey.

[madmanmike 33]

Great post. Newbies out there and read this as this very good information. Thanks for posting this.

[Red bird 20]

As a newbie, I am grateful for the veterans on this board who are available and ,answer repetitive questions from us newbies

[dawalsh 919]

Thank you, it's been rewarding wading your posts and learning from them.

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Wonderful post! Sums up my feelings exactly, and yes, I know I sound terse and mean on occasion but that usually means that the post I am responding to scares me for the poster. It is a lifetime journey and not a quick fix. We are still learning.

[katie2244 11]

As a newbie' date=' I am grateful for the veterans on this board who are available and ,answer repetitive questions from us newbies[/quote']

I echo this! Thank you!

[solson8201 98]

Thank you Hazel. I for one always sift through responses to find what you and select others have to say. As a newbie I have learned whose words to believe, but responses can be overwhelming at first.

[GoingforGoal 1,734]

Thanks guys. And I agree Cheznoel..this is a community and we are concerned for it's members. I often get terse when I too am scared and fearful someone could be doing grave danger to themselves but won't listen

Keep posting, keep learning.. new or not, this is a lifelong journey we can all grow from