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Hi;

My surgery was in December of 2011. I lost well for the first six months and then after 30 pounds I reached a plateau. I just let it ride for a few months, concentrating on other parts of my life. I actually think that was a good period because it let me get used to my new size (and buy a new wardrobe). Three months ago I went back for a fill and have lost another 20 pounds - too fast, I know. My issue is that I really have no concept of how I look. People tell me I don't need to lose any more, but I still weigh 180, which is too much for my height. So, are my friends just being kind? Do I look to the world like a normal person or a fat one? Staring at myself in the mirror doesn't settle the issue - sometimes I think I look fat, sometimes thin. I've even looked online for photos of women at different weights hoping that looking at strangers will help me get a better sense of my own size. Anyone else have this disconnect? I suppose it makes sense, as I avoided looking at myself in mirrors, photos, even glass doors when I weighed more, so I didn't have a clear image of myself then, either. Suggestions?

Linda

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Linda - I go with where I am comfortable. I weigh 215 right now and people are telling me I'm looking good. My goal weight is 167. Sounds high? That puts me in a size 10 and I don't want to get any smaller than that. I don't think people are just trying to be nice. Put up a before and after pic of yourself. That may give you a better idea of what you look like. And I think after being heavy all my life it takes my brain a lot longer to catch up.

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I think a lot of people have the same problem. My mom's highest weight was in the 180's, she is now 127 and says she still feels fat. To me she looks tiny, but she said when she looks in the mirror she still sees fat.

I am wearing a size 14 right now. I always thought I would be happy there. But, while I am in a size 14 I still weigh 190. For my height of 5'2 I need to be between 120 and 135. I don't think I will ever hit that range. I am hoping for the 140's, but I I get to a size 10/12 I think I would be happy, but who knows.

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It's hard for me too, even in a size 6...some days, I still see myself as fat. :unsure:

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Here's a guy's perspective. 5' 8" you probably should weight 150 for an ideal weight. So, you're carrying around an extra 20-30 lbs. If you're OK with it that's fine. Your BMI is 27 which places you in the overweight category. You're no longer obese.

Health wise, you should work on that extra 30 lbs but I wouldn't be aggressive about it. Make it a long term goal to whittle away at it. You probably look great but would feel even better if you lost a few. And for me, I like a buffer between 180 and 200. A bad holiday season could push me back above that 200 line so easily.

jmo

tmf

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I'm exactly the same way. I lost 42 lbs and have been stuck for MONTHS! At first, I was so happy to have lost what I did. I went from and 18/20 to an 11/12, but in my head I know my ideal weight would be a maximum of 140 at 5'3. When I look in the mirror I think I've come so far, but still have such a long way to go. My husband is wonderfully supportive, and keeps reminding me "BUT LOOK HOW FAR YOU'VE COME!" Guess we all need to focus on the positive! :D

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I hear all of you. I'm 186 and everyone tells me I look awsome and are really starting to tell me how much I've lost and how "skinny" I look. I've lost 70 but when I look in the mirror I still think I'm huge. I had started to excerise to tone up, then had a hysterectomy so I've been "off" for a few weeks I know in that I'm losing weight and I'm smaller but my head is still playing games with me. I still look in the plus size for clothes, yet today I tried tops on and could wear xl. It's a terrible game our minds play with us.

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I completely understand where you are coming from. I was banded in December of 2012 and have lost 36 lbs so far. People tell me how great I look and how skinny I have become, but I am still 38 lbs overweight. When I look in the mirror I don't see what everyone else sees and it is upsetting. My husband tells me almost everyday how proud he is of me and how different and wonderful I look - I wish I could see what he sees. I talked about this very topic in my support group last month and I was told by many who were 10 years plus out from surgery that it took them a very long time to finally see the difference - once you get used to seeing something (fat) for so long - you just have a hard time not seeing it anymore.

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I'm sure you look great. I understand what you mean though. The first time I lost weight (this is my 2nd attempt at the band) I would see a lady in a store and ask my mom "Am I bigger or smaller than her". I, like you could not get used to my new body and was still fat in my head. My neighbor told me one day "you have lost too much weight" , but at the time I weighed 20 pounds over what the doctor said I should. We all just have to get to a point where we feel good no matter what the scale says! Good luck with your journey! Follow my lap band blog www.biscuitsandexcuses.blogspot.com

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I'm terrible, I relky want to work on this.

Surprisingly, Prozac has helped me a lot. I started it eight weeks ago or other reasons but it's really hit me how much my body and wight obsession is linked to anxiety.

My problem, I think is that I'm so tall. My BMI is 22 and objectively I can see signs I'm slim - collarbones, wrists, flat stomach. I'm pear shaped and wide hipped - still a size 12 and next to other women, I still feel so darn big - because I am! I stand out in photos, always get comments if I wear heels etc. I hate it.

It used to be I was the biggest even though far from the fattest. Now I stand out as this huge beanpole!

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Oh how I struggle with this too. I started at 215lbs and when I got to my goal of 154lbs people were telling me to stop losing, that I was thin enough. In my mind though, my BMI was 27 so I was still overweight, and convinced myself that everyone was telling me to stop because they were so used to see me 'fat' that anything less would seem like I was too thin.

So I kept going. And going. I would look in the mirror and despite my BMI going down from 27 to 25, then to 23 then to 21, I still saw myself as needing to lose.

Now I look back at pics of me at a BMI of 21 and I am amazed that I couldn't see how stick thin my arms were, or the ribs that were showing in my cleavage. Yet, hypocrite that I am, I also don't like being back at 150lbs, and feel HUGE, even though at a size 8 and a BMI of 26, LOGICALLY I know I am not huge.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that our minds play awful tricks on us, they really do. I have this idea that I will be happy again at my stable weight of 135lbs, but to be honest I'll probably get there and won't be.

So there you go. There is no easy answer. My only realistic advice would be to choose a dress size and see how you feel when you get there. Eventually hopefully you will find a size you're happy to live with, and that will be your 'ideal'. That's pretty much as close as I'll probably get to being happy with my weight.

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